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Sopranette
02-08-2008, 07:09 PM
This is something I've been wrestling with; how does someone deal with church cliques? What if someone wants to join and be of service, but there is already a status quo preventing involvement? Everybody has their niche, it seems. I have asked and asked, but to no avail. I just was still the "new kid" and the unknown. Well, how am I supposed to be the "known" if I'm never given a chance? I know I have a little to offer, so why not just take a chance on the cliques part, just this once? If I fail, so be it. :BangHead: :BangHead: :BangHead:

love,

Sopranette

mcdirector
02-08-2008, 08:39 PM
We have been members of our church for 15 years. There are some things we will never get to do because we are still the new kids in some areas. I became media center director because I was on the committee at the right time and the other ladies were all the wrong ages.

The only thing I can tell you that I know with all my heart is that if there is something that God wants you to do, the doors will open for you to do it and heaven help the folks that stand in the way of that ;)

christianyouth
02-09-2008, 01:09 AM
I also will say this Soprannete, and I hope I don't over step my bounds, but sometimes serving at the church can be a bad thing. I think the purpose of church is to gather to worship God, experience invigorating fellowship, take the Lord's Supper, and learn the Word of God. After doing this, and being fed on Sunday, we go out and serve in our communities.

spiersdodgerblue
02-09-2008, 03:08 AM
If you like the feel of this church and are making it your home, don't give up. God will make a way. It was done to me at my church too. I started in the youth. The youth pastor was great at adding folks and putting them to work. Before I knew it 6 years had past. I've been having a blast for the most part. Now I'm in I think :laugh: 6 ministry's. Find a ministry that is short on people, even if it's not your first pick and volunteer. Hang around, ask question, give input when lead and or asked, ask question yourself. You will learn alot I'm sure and when someone new comes along, you can welcome them the way they should be welcomed.

God will bless your willingness to serve Him in His church. I think sometimes people forget that it's not our church, but Gods.

Forgive them if you have not already.
God Bless
Annette

Tom Bryant
02-09-2008, 08:07 AM
This is something that drives Pastor's crazy. We see people who would be wonderful in a particular ministry (like you), watch them try to be involved only to be shut out. :BangHead:

Just keep trying. Just showing up, coming up with good ideas (even if they are shot down at first) and do the little stuff that doesn't get noticed except by the Lord and those closest to Him.

This may not just be a church thing. When I was in TN, although I had lived there for 10 years, I was told that I would never belong because I wasn't born there. :tonofbricks: So it may be a cultural thing also.

guitarpreacher
02-09-2008, 08:23 AM
Remember what Jesus said about new wine and old wine skins, and then start something new. (With your pastor's support, of course)

tinytim
02-09-2008, 09:13 AM
This is something that drives Pastor's crazy. We see people who would be wonderful in a particular ministry (like you), watch them try to be involved only to be shut out. :BangHead:

Just keep trying. Just showing up, coming up with good ideas (even if they are shot down at first) and do the little stuff that doesn't get noticed except by the Lord and those closest to Him.

This may not just be a church thing. When I was in TN, although I had lived there for 10 years, I was told that I would never belong because I wasn't born there. :tonofbricks: So it may be a cultural thing also.


You are right IMO... It is a cultural thing, and it drives us batty!!!
And it seems that the smaller the culture, the more yrs it takes to fit in.

pops
02-09-2008, 09:19 AM
Sopra you never said what you asked about or asked to do,,,
I have never heard of anyone being turned away from a committee because they did not need any more help! I think church committees are no different than committees that you run across at work. If you are the new person then you are expected to not try to take control or to even come up with 'great/better' ideas for awhile. When you join a committee look around and see if someone seems overworked and approach them to see if you can help them out. Have you tried this? or do you try to take control or do you seem to try to take control?

SaggyWoman
02-09-2008, 09:45 AM
In some cultures, people want to be invited in to work. When people ask to help, many times, leaders are unprepared to have places where people can just "walk right in" to help. Churches constantly need to have "entry level" positions.

Certainly, the "start something new" is the battle cry in many churches. This is because the church either is unaccepting of new in the old way, or the old way is so old that the church could stand to have something new.

Sopranette
02-09-2008, 10:35 AM
Maybe I'm asking wrong, then. I've been thinking about this some more, and I have been given some new ideas on how to approach this problem. Thank you, Jesus, and thank you all, as well. Part of the problem is that I'm actually very quiet and shy in person, believe it or not. Maybe that comes across as distant or uninterested.

love,

Sopranette

David Michael Harris
02-09-2008, 11:20 AM
This is something I've been wrestling with; how does someone deal with church cliques? What if someone wants to join and be of service, but there is already a status quo preventing involvement? Everybody has their niche, it seems. I have asked and asked, but to no avail. I just was still the "new kid" and the unknown. Well, how am I supposed to be the "known" if I'm never given a chance? I know I have a little to offer, so why not just take a chance on the cliques part, just this once? If I fail, so be it. :BangHead: :BangHead: :BangHead:

love,

Sopranette

Your not the only one.

Personalities are a big problem.

Everyone in church needs to learn humility.

The problem is even people who think they are close to God are not.

David

Aaron
02-09-2008, 11:24 AM
Sopranette, people are people wherever you go, and this kind of thing doesn't just happen with church folks. It happens at work too. There is a principle in operation here. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 1 Pet. 5:5.

In what capacities are you attempting to serve, and is it really service? Are they snubbing you out of menial tasks, such as sweeping the floor or taking out the trash or minding the nursery? Or are they snubbing you out of the less humble, more high-profile positions for which proud and arrogant individuals strive? (Not calling you proud or arrogant, just saying some positions seem to appeal more to appetites of those who desire preeminence.)

If you are there to serve, that means you have a desire to meet needs. What positions do these folks have trouble filling. If it's a small church, then I'm sure there's one or two. Cheerfully volunteer for one of those and accept that as your calling there for a good while. Even in secular positions, hard work and good attitude are eventually rewarded.

Sopranette
02-09-2008, 01:15 PM
Hmmmm....actually, Aaron, you've given me another good idea. A way in. I'm not good with other people's children (I tend to let them do whatever they want). I'm not scriptually proficient enough for soul winning. The last thing I'd want is a high profile position. But there are other things I can do very well. Thanks!

love,

Sopranette

Joe
02-09-2008, 01:34 PM
Too bad you weren't in our church, no one get's left out. It's not as big as other churches though.
They may be put in smaller positions, but everyone is included. I don't help out much any more, but when I headed things, everyone get's a job. If I don't have one, I make one up. I would feel bad to tell anyone no, they want to help and it makes them happy.

Maybe you could start your own ministry, if you're not too shy.

You could obtain ideas from church websites. Such as a Welcome Ministry, where you are assigned to a new person attending church. You bring them a gift from the church after they attended (like Dunkin Donuts and a card from the church)
Maybe start a new meal program for new mothers. OR sick people.
Maybe start a prayer chain (if you church doesn't have one).
When you have ideas, talk to your Pastor about it.

pops
02-10-2008, 09:31 AM
Sopra - I wish you would be more specific as to your problem mentioned in the original topic. some examples maybe? - I cant believe someone with 6000 posts is shy!! - If indeed you are shy and don't know why people don't approach you perhaps they are thinking the same about you.

Sopranette
02-10-2008, 09:48 AM
Pops, it's a lot easier to write what's on my mind than it is to say it in person. So, yes, I'm shy, always have been. 6000 posts??? Naw.
I can't be more specific about the situation without going into gossip, so I refrain from that. But I've gotten some good ideas, and I see mine is not an isolated case.

love,

Sopranette

Beth
02-11-2008, 05:21 AM
Sopranette, it is inevitable that there will be cliques...shouldn't be, but there will be.

Our local assemblies are made up of people who sin. As long as we are in our earthly bodies, the saved will experience the battle between the flesh and the Spirit. People are at different places in their walk with the Lord. People are at different levels of spiritual maturity, ie, growing in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ.

What I would do if I were you is, first, pray for the people who seem to be excluding you from serving. Trust the Lord to convict these brethren through the Holy Spirit. Trust that this is His Work, and He will take care of the situation.

Then, YOU be an example to them.. study Phillipians 2:1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

I think it is just wonderful to see your zeal for the Lord!!! :1_grouphug:

Sopranette
02-11-2008, 07:09 AM
Thank you, Beth! That's one thing I'm never short on. Yesterday proved to be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I am really praying that this time, I will have found a way in. Well, I'll keep asking. Eventually, something will become available.

love,

Sopranette