Christian dating sites

I got into a "Christian" pen pal Web site, and the only replies I got were from "women" trying a scam on me. I got into a "Christian" dating service online, and despite saying I only wanted to hear from women, the only replies were from guys making vulgar propositions. I've given up on those places.

 

I went to a Christian dating site after a lot of prayer and asking God to help me find a mate and I prayed over Proverbs 31 about a virtuous woman and I met a girl from about 3 or 4 hours from here. Its really been a blessing.

 

I believe WAITING is better than dating. The scripture supports waiting on God to fulfill the desires of your heart. "Psalm 37" Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added"Matthew 6:33". The story of how Isaac met Rebecka in Genesis 24 is a great showing of Gods sovereign choice for him. God gives his very best to those who leave the choice with Him.

 

You say this as though they are mutually exclusive. I don't believe they are.

 

But I disagree! :smilewinkgrin: Have you read Genesis 24? I think God put that in there to encourage us to trust and He shall bring it to pass. Notice Issac was meditating and waiting.....seeking first the Lord.

 

Tony Evans once said....You can GRIPE "Lord I don't have a mate" You can GRAB "Come here you,don't you need somebody to marry you?" Or you can GROW "Lord I trust you ....when you feel the time is right you will open the door for me" Psalm 37 is a great promise and principal!:smilewinkgrin:

 

I recommend dating sites to many friends who are looking for a way to connect with someone romantically but because of time and other circumstances they can't meet quality people. (Hey anyone can meet members of the opposite gender, but finding quality ones that is hard!)

Usually I suggest a dating site that requires payment to be a member. That gets rid of most of the shenanigans. Also be specific in your profilel, when in doubt ask a friend to help. (Works better with girls that last one)

Finally, get full disclosure of pictures, not just headshots, that show the person in a variety of formats and info about their life and lifestyle (kids is a good place to check.)

Also, first meetings are in public in largely populated areas with lots of exits.

If things start progressing towards an amicable relationship I highly recommend full background checks on the person.

This can be a positive experience. I know many who have found lasting love through this. It is a great way to cut through the silliness and get to the heart of the matter. I had a friend who went to the same church as his future wife for a year and they attended opposite services. They passed each other during the transitions. They have been happily married for about 4 years now.

It can work but you need to be discerning and wise.

 

Did you marry her before you threw away your 'celibate robe'?

 

Would you still recommend full background checks if they happened to meet in person? I can just see a couple telling their kids how they met... "yeah we met at the big bookstore, which is a location I chose because of all the available exits and high publicity, then we went to the opera, making sure I sat close to the door, and since things were going well, that's when I did a full background check on them."

 

First of all, it's ROPE, not robe. Secondly, that was just a reference to a great poet named M.C. Young who basically said to not give up on dating and become a celibate monk just because you haven't had great success when dating:

"You're on a mission and you're wishin'
someone could cure your lonely condition.
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places,
no fine girls just ugly faces.
From frustration first inclination,
is to become a monk and leave the situation.
But ever dark tunnel has a light of hope,
so don't hang yourself with a celibate rope."

 

As a born again Christian who knows that God is against sex outside of marriage, even if I could I wouldn't have sex with someone to whom I'm not married.

 

Why wouldn't they be kind and friendly? They're looking for a man to take care of them.

I don't recall God needing a dating service to provide anyone with their mate for life...

 

Amen! I think we have drifted from walking by faith and not by SIGHT"Dating Sight". Faith is saying something is so....even thought its not so...in order that it my be so. Hebrews 11 Genesis 24

 

Congratulations Olivencia! "He who finds a wife finds a good thing"! I met my wife through E-Harmony. Their process was very helpful. After we met, we spent two years meeting everybody we could think of that the other person knew, including family, co-workers, friends, pets, etc. My advice is, once you meet the person you think is right, pray, then introduce them to the people who know you well. If you start getting negative feedback saying, "this is not the right person", listen to it. The collective voice of your family & friends is a voice of God's wisdom to help you decide wisely.

 

I usually recommend background checks once they get into the relationship a bit. Most people can get a good vibe from the first meeting. You just never know.

I had a young couple in one of my previous ministries that met through a dating site. It was obvious they were pretty enamored with each other fro early on. After having dinner with them (and a couple of other people) my wife's discernment-o-meter went off and she mentioned to me (privately) that something wasn't right about the young lady. I recommended the young man do a quick background check, he needed some convincing. When he finally did it he found some pretty crazy stuff and she hadn't been completely honest about. When they talked about it the relationship took a bad turn and they broke up about a month later. He was tore up about it, but after about three months he finally told us that he had already bought a ring and was ready to get married. He would never have guessed that there were issues.

Now this doesn't happen all the time. But it a good cautionary tale.:thumbsup:

You know even though I have a number of people in my current and previous several ministry positions that have met through this manner they usually don't broadcast it. It is a funny scenario to explain to your kidos.

Also, I recommend a coffee shop or something like that for a shorter date at first. You need to get to know someone before stepping in super deep imho. Not trying to be a know-it-all I just have had plenty of experience helping people through these situations. :smilewinkgrin:

Also, we can sit around and talk about how God's provision is focused on not using these services and such but what if this is part of God's provision for someone?

 

In my experience, the advice "just sit back and let God find you a partner" usually comes either from people who got married while very young and never dealt with the problem in their own experience or from people who are not married and probably never will be.

When I joined E-Harmony, I was 39 years old. When you get to be 39 and you have never been married and you would like to be, it's time to look outside the box and try something new.

 

Or maybe believers who BELIEVED God to direct their paths. Proverbs 3:5-6