A case for a divorce.........

You are not going to find any easy answers. And I personally think this board is a poor place to come for advise unless you are looking for poor advise. One line of thought is "What God has joined together" and was God the joiner, or ourselves. Others will think of the welfare of the kids. Questions of the mental state of the abused, some feel obligated to stay entrenched out of a martyr syndrome. Fact is (and I understand I just stated you may get bad advise here, myself included) is to be supportive of your sister in whatever she decides to do. And I would included, perhaps, helping her to receive good Godly counseling (with emphasis on Godly). Everyone will probably have a differing view so I again state the ball is in her court and you should be sensitive to her right to choose and supportive in what she chooses.

 

Not knowing all the details but purely based on what is in the op I would counsel any women who came to me and I could verify this information to separate due to the emotional abuse and the womanizing. Abuse emotional or otherwise can be dangerous and all to often leads to the physical. The first thing to be concerned with is the safety of the mother and child.

Then I would tell her to pray, fast, and wait. If he then wants to leave her so be it. Let him initiate and secure the divorce. But she also needs to know that God can both restore that relationship and soften that man's heart.

It is vitally important to get away from any abuse. Love him and wait for him from a distance but do it in prayer and fasting. She really needs to go to her pastor.

 

We need to pray for your sister.

Edit: and her husband.
Edit: and their child.

 

Scarlett O had a great post. However, my view is simple. Your sister has Biblical justifications for divorce. She also has practical reasons for divorce. So she should divorce this person before he harms her and the child further.

 

ditto. Everyone's posts are very good.

Will say a prayer for your sister's (and children's) safety, and peace and comfort from the Lord.

What a terrible situation. But God can heal all things.

 

A girl marries a man but after a while it get to where its not a relationship and they sleep in the same bed. They are only living together due to Him being sick shes still with Him. If she doesn't love Him and meets someone else is it adultery?

 

Yes...................

 

I agree with Revmitchell. If she does not separate the authorities may consider the situation child abuse. Just because the children are not being physically abused or the wife is not being physically abused does not mean it is not considered child abuse because the situation may be deemed an abusive situation. It seems that he does not understand the importance of gettting help and he must be forced to realize it and take responsibility for his own actions. As long as she allows herself to aid the situation by not forcing him to make decisions to get help and stay sober it is doubtful he will get help nor have much respect for her. Many an abuser and drunk has been forced to get help at the insistance of a strong wife and he credits her with saving their marriage ands his life.

One of my relatives was into pornography and when his wife insisted that he get help or she would leave, he got help. During that time he also received Christ. He now leads a ministry working with men who have troubles with addictions.

 

This is a good thread and timely - I just finished speaking & praying with a co-worker yesterday on this same subject of divorce. She - a believer; he - the unbeliever. They've been married for many, many years, but the relationship has petered out. Frankly, she's endured a lot of emotional abuse over the years and abandonment The relationship is quite simply, emotionally bankrupt. Short of a miracle and God's intervention, she doesn't see any way that he will willingly change. She has sought professional Godly counselling (I've encouraged her to continue with this) and has done a lot of praying over this (& him), and soul-searching. She is at the point where yesterday, she asked what I thought of her encouraging him to sell the family home (his idea), separating, treating him with dignity to maintain as respectful a relationship as possible and moving into her own small apt. (she doesn't plan to divorce him - she wants to follow God's commands). She simply believes that God wants more for her than this relationship is offering & perhaps can do more without her in the picture. She even thought up what I thought was a brilliant idea - buying adjoining apt units so that kids and grandkids could stay with either/or when they come to visit. She'd even be willing to have her husband come over for dinner once a week, if he'd like, under such an arrangement.
What do the rest of you think??

 

Modernity has brought many changes to a marital relationship. I think that many to-day will change along with it. I am not promoting divorcement, but looking back to the lack of counselling before marriage between unequally yolked people.

On the other hand, I do know of a Jewish woman who found Christ as Saviour. For many years, she continued to be her husband's mate. She even continued going to Synagogue and to the Baptist Church. Some twenty or so years later he actually came to the church seeking to know Christ. Their son went on to attend Bible School and become a pastor. Would to God that all situations worked out this way. The thing is, she remained faithful to her marital commitment, and God honoured that.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Out of honor for God and His Word, she should separate herself from the adulterous man. Unless they were both unbelievers when they were married, it's difficult to invoke vs 15.

 

Very nicely done.

~~~

 

Tater, before I comment at all on the divorce thing, let me comment on the staying in the same home thing.

It's high time she high tailed it out of there. What he is doing is abusive to the children. Scripture does not demand that we stay in dangerous situations, but scripture does demand that we protect and provide for our children.

Alcoholics are notorious for being unstable. They need to be protected from someone who is going through an addiction.

Whether or not she decides to file for divorce, she needs to be made aware that she has no obligation to stay in the same home and if she does stay, she needs to put the kids elsewhere...in a more stable and safe environment.

As far as divorce, I agree with Scarlet and did the same thing with my marriage. Separated to keep myself and my children safe, with the idea of reconciliation, and when that didn't happen (I think it was a couple years) we were divorced. He was an unbeliever. I was too at the time of our marriage.

I believe I did everything according to scripture. I sought a LOT of advice and did a lot of studying. There were multiple opinions from multiple counselors. It pretty much just confused me until I sat down with my Bible and spent a lot of time in prayer to figure out what was right for my family.

Please encourage your sister to study and pray! There are a host of opinions out there, but what it comes down to is what the Bible says, coupled with where she is led spiritually after spending much time in study and prayer.

 

If there has been sexual immorality, she has biblical grounds for divorce. Sorry for the situation.