High School Scraps Abstinence Only Plans

Based on results, these types of abstinence only plans don't work. If someone's going to go through a sex ed, class, have them learn sex ed, warts and all. Let the rest of the instruction come home. That's what my kids did, and my two oldest kids are college age and still virgins. Why did it work for them? Because the abstinence plus"" ed programs teach kids the failure rates of contraception. My oldest said that seeing the failuure rate bolstered her choice to remain a virgin.

 

Abstinence only is the ideal, but it has never worked, does not work today and will not work in the future. It would be best if parents taught their children about sex and sexuality and instilled good strong moral values, but most do not and far too many are not good role models. Kids are buried in sex.

Look at TV programs ... what do you watch and allow your kids to see?
Look at movies ... which ones do you go to and allow your kids to go to?
Look at advertising ... hard to control what they see here ... magazines, tv, radio, etc..
Listen to popular music ... miserable morality in many songs.
What control do you exercise over web sites they can view?

All and much more are bad influences on kids. It will take very hard work, good teaching, much prayer to make much of an impact on teens, yeah adults, on illicit sex.

 

The state should not be teaching kids anything about sex, the parents should.

 

I'd say that's true regardless of the OP topic.

 

In my counciling with young couples (in their 20s) about 90% have had sexual intercourse at some time and about 75% have had it with their significant other.

We lost the war on abstinence. It is a plain as day fact. We loaded young people up with teachings and instruction about denying it but never gave the tools and "how to" when they are getting hot and heavy with someone.

This issue is a major thing in dealing with singles in (and out) of our churches.

This is not to say that we in the church should teach or openly advocate for anything but chastity. Frankly I think we need to hear more about the gift of abstinence before marriage. In my work with singles (20somethings) this is a significant thrust of teaching.

I married still a virgin, but that is the extreme rarity in our churches.

 

They are not teaching my children that junk

 

They never taught it to my kids either, we taught them God's word instead.

 

I'm sure the Planned Parenthood programs have been glittering jewels of success.

 

Sex education doesn't work. Nothing is full proof till the Lord returns but you do not need to teach about sex divorced from any moral teaching. Such us ungodly. This argument that abstinence only doesn't work is a failed argument that puts a standard on abstinence only that is not put on sex education. To cry out to doesn't work is to be inconsistent.

 

abstinence only is God's plan, and we all know His plans never worked, don't we
[end sarcasm]

 

Fornication is a sin. How's that for motivation not to committ it?

 

So what if not everyone believes it?

 

Speeding is a sin. Just telling your kids "don't speed" is certiainly worthy, but teaching your kids all the possible ramifications of speeding can also have worth.

 

Over a year ago Mitch and I exchanged messages on this topic and what kids do and do not know. At that time he refused to admit that his children knew anything about sex. I figured they were young ... six or below. Turns out he has some teenagers. Trust me, they know. Good grief, even back in the stone age when I was a kid we knew. That did not mean we acted on what we knew, but we knew and knew before we were teenagers.

Far too many parents want to bury their heads in the sand and refuse to face this problem. A few talk honestly and openly with their kids. Most do not.

And, if we adults do not set a moral standard, such as refusing to watch semi-porn programs on TV and going to soft or hard porn movies and do not set firm dating standards there is little or no hope. Even if we do set good examples and do set firm guidelines there are no guarantees.

Love you kids and do not so alienate so that you have no relationship with them. In other words, if they go out on a limb, don't cut the limb off.