It is better to be nice than to be truthful.

What I have learned is that gossip is deemed ok under the guise of documenting and demanding accountability.

 

That's right. Otherwise, their fragile self-esteem might be bruised.

 

We are told to "Speak the truth in love." Is it spoken for the edifying and improvement of others, or is it spoken to hurt? Telling a woman, "Man, are you ever fat" might be the truth, but it certainly isn't done in love and will only hurt her.

Speaking out against sin, rejecting it, and turning from it, is expected of us. Accepting sin and not speaking out against it is the same as condoning it. Sometimes the truth should not be spoken and sometimes it should. It just depends on why it's being spoken and the motives behind it.

 

Well I guess it isn't directly related...but seems awfully close...kissin cousins?

One of the things that I have learned a lot about over my years on this side of eternity is that some Christians will use the banner of "truth seeking" or "rightly dividing" to gossip, slander, and reprosecute fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that they either just don't like or because they feel a need to fight.

Sometimes, sometimes we need to seek truth through sinful deception, but once its done with we need to let it go and forgive. One of the key parts of forgiveness is not constantly reminding people or seeking to reprosecute them for their sinful ways.

I don't know of anyone around here who have defended certain actions of individuals which has been the source of an innumerable amount of threads.

One of the differences is that at some point people need to accept the guidance and leadership of those placed in spiritual authority over situations. If you aren't a member of a church or attached to the local congregation and keep yelling about a pastor or someone in that group well after the discipline has been taken to address the sin you are gossiping and sinning.

I know the internet is full of members of the pajamhadeen who believe it is their right and duty to go after anyone who steps out of line, but frankly most complaints are from people with no associate or biblical role in resolving the situation. We need to reassess and properly use biblical authority in our conversations and convictions.

Edited to add: I'm gonna toss this out there and, frankly, I know how it'll be received but oh well. In regards to this overdone business with my alma mater: no one on this or any other internet discussion board has either authority or scriptural grounds for demanding anything of the leadership of the school, church, or specific individuals involved. To continue to rehash this issue, demand apologies, and heap coals on someone's head because they sinned is akin to a Pharisaical attitude and has no place within the Body of Jesus Christ. I am absolutely appalled at the actions of Dr. Caner in lying to people, but I am equally appalled at that subsequent gossiping and backbiting going on in Christendom to demand spiritual reparations when nothing has been done against us individually.

 

Yet you specifically mention it... so you have.

I doubt anyone would phrase it that way. That's a straw man argument.

A better way to say it might be, "It is better to be full of grace and work toward redemption rather than condemning and demanding of retribution."

Now you have ascribed the motive of politics to those who don't see things the way you do. That's hardly fair or accurate.

When someone says something like this, I think of the way Jesus responded to the religious leaders who had caught a woman in the act of adultery.

Jesus was not condoning her sin. He was more interested in her redemption. Certainly the mob that had caught the woman in the act was "right" to find her actions morally objectionable, but they didn't have the best interests of the woman in mind.

Really? That's what you've learned?

Frankly, there are lots of falsehoods told from the pulpit.

I've heard lots of prominent preachers tell the same story (in the first person) with the same details. Lying to make sermon illustrations "better" has a long history.

Back in 1991, I heard Freddie Gage tell a story about a man he allegedly confronted with the gospel, who happened to die on the same day. A week later, I happened to her Rodney Gage tell the same story (ironically enough, Freddie Gage was sitting next to ke in the pew) from the pulpit in the first person.

I could give many other examples.

As someone who has often acted as a prophet in church situations, I need to point out that a prophet who does not actively love the people he is confronting is not exercising the gift in a godly manner. The goal of a prophet is redemption, not condemnation. The prophet trusts the Spirit of God to bring the appropriate conviction and does not take matters into his own hands.

 

I tell my youth to ask yourself three questions

1. is it uplifting
2. is it encouraging
3. is it courteous

If you can say no to any of the three be prayerfuly quiet.