Etiquette for missionaries/hosts

This is not just an isolated experience. I also have run into the problem of ill-mannered missionaries in the field and on furlough.

May I suggest--instead of a support check--giving them copies of

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette : 50th Anniversary Edition

Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated ​

They may feel embarrassed, but, hopefully, they will learn and return to the field better missionaries.



...Bob

 

This is terrible behavior. These missionaries need rebuked so that (1) they know their behavior is unacceptable, and (2) they know that their behavior will prevent them getting much needed support.

By all means contact the mission board. One reason a mission board exists is to be the representative of the churches in regards to immoral or unethical behavior. The board can only do its job in this area when the churches keep it informed.

Our board (and I believe any good, established board) has an orientation week for new missionaries during which they are taught deputation etiquette. We also have a deputation director who keeps on top of things in these areas so that the missionaries realize when they've blown it.

Caveat: make sure the facts are right (not a problem with you I'm sure). When we were on deputation, a pastor got upset because we asked for lodging when we hadn't told them ahead of time (a rookie mistake). So the pastor called the wrong mission board to complain about the wrong missionary (a relative with the same last name)!

Oh, by the way, the Lord evened things out. When we were at the same missionary conference, my relative got some support the pastor told us would be ours! :laugh: We were happy for them, though.

 

I think you're right, that in general a mission board provides more accountability. However, this is not a truism, since a local church can provide accountability, and on occasion a mission board can

On the side of a church providing accountability, my home church acted as the mission board for a missionary to the military who I knew. Unfortunately, he began mis-using funds, so the home church dropped him completely.

On the side of a board not providing accountability, I know of two cases where the board failed. In both cases they were very small boards, so maybe that means something. At any rate, in one case the board refused to listen to credible (later proven true) accusations by of a missionary having an affair on the field. On another occasion, the leader of a small board in Mexico unethically took possession of the property and building bought by a church-planting missionary under the board (now a supporting pastor).

We missionaries are just as human as anyone else. We need accountability, whether by the board or home church or both. Of course, my good wife keeps me accountable first of all! :smilewinkgrin: