Putting Your Spouse First - Andy Stanley

Think many pastors face temptation to have their ministry/church demands come before the spouse, and the non pastors can have children and job come before the spouse!

ALL need to remember the set up should be
God
Wife/husband
Children
job/occupation/ministry

 

Many years ago while out knocking on doors for the Lord with another young man, I came across a couple who were rejoicing in the Lord and were very happy. As I approached them outside their home, I literally felt the power of the Holy Spirit emanating from them. I told them that I felt foolish asking the question, but I needed to ask if they were saved. They assured me that they were even though I already knew they were.

I have always been told that we shouldn't go by "feelings", but I felt the power of God coming from them--just as I felt the power of God lifting my load of sin from me as I knelt and asked for His forgiveness and salvation at age 17.

I said all that to get to my point. They also told us that what gave them the great happiness that they experienced was that they both put Jesus Christ first in their lives, and then they both put each other first before themselves.

They had found the key to true happiness--(1) Knowing the Lord as their Saviour and Lord, (2) Putting the Lord first in their lives, and (3) Putting the others happiness ahead of their own.

 

Had a little "moment" with my wife last Friday at Cracker Barrel that sorta fits this thread.

Scene: sitting at CB waiting on a meal of cod.
Wife: Do you realize that this June we will have been married for 49 years?
Me, (after thinking and calculating): You're right; and next year will be the big "FIVE O"!!
Short pregnant pause---------------
Me again: How have you managed to put up with me for so long????
Wife (not missing a beat): I have the gift of long suffering!

Thankfully there was NOTHING in my mouth at the time, or it would have been all over CB.

 

One of the surest signs of a marriage trouble is when one spouse disrespects the other so much, that they rake them over the coals in public with a harsh and loud tone.

 

I couldn't imagine my wife or I treating each other like that in public. The times I have let my mouth get ahead of my head, I felt terrible & apologized profusely. I don't know if this is a sin, but I like myself too much to be stuck with a brawling woman. Thank God I found a good one. Now, if I can just convince her that she did too.

 

One thing that kills marriages today is the parents become the full time extra-curricular directors of their kids. This kid to soccer at 9am, the other parents takes the other kid to softball at 9:30. The first takes the first to scouts at 11. The second parent takes the other to some other club thing, etc, etc, etc. This goes on all weekend, not to mention the gobs of money parents spend on long trips for traveling club baseball leagues.

By the time these kids grow up the two parents are left with nothing but themselves which evolved into two strangers living under the same roof. Believe me, I saw this first hand with my wife. Once her little sister got married her parents divorced within months. Two people who had nothing in common, nothing to talk about, and did not even know one another.

Oh, and "staying together for the kids" doesn't work either. Even as a 24 year old married woman, my wife was devastated for a long time over her parents' divorce. In many ways it has played a part in how my wife and I treat our marriage. We have our kids in maybe one or two extra-curricular activity, we get in as much alone time as possible, even if it means sitting at Panera and talking about life over a cup of coffee. Best of all, "gram gram" goes back home to NoCal and takes the two kids for two weeks every summer so the wife and I go to baseball games, go rent a cabin in Gatlinburg, or whatever we can find to get away from this house.

 

Stanley Smanley, where's he preaching from the Starship Enterprise?

These guys have some real marriage tips. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YD7vdbBK8LU

 

What of Gary Chapman the author of the five love languages?

 

Excellent! The wife and I just listened and then had a tender moment.

 

Can he do the robot?