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What makes an apology acceptable?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by agedman, Feb 2, 2014.

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  1. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    In another closed thread, a question was raised as to if one is obligated to accept an apology when there is no evidence of a change - like one who repents yet keeps sinning.

    In a previous post in that thread, I had pointed out that the standard for forgiveness. submitted by the Lord Jesus Christ, was not conditioned nor conditional upon the level of sincerity, or change of behavior.

    Rather, the standard submitted is that the believer is to forgive (irregardless of the behavior of the offender) because God forgives us.

    That in fact (according to the "Lord's Prayer") the believer's own state of being forgiven is based upon their forgiving who has offended them. This is even when no forgiveness is even offered.

    Apology and repentance do not have equal standing.

    It should be add that repentance between humankind does not raise to the level of repentance between man and God.

    Repentance between man and God is when man comes into agreement with God.

    However, between humans, one may apologize for an attitude or behavior, yet still hold a very different set of values and reasoning than the one to whom the apology is directed.

    Therefore, do not bring Scriptures bearing the matter of repentance into the discussion on apology. The two are not equal nor synonymous.

    What is your understanding on this matter?
     
    #1 agedman, Feb 2, 2014
  2. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    apology - means what I did was wrong - and I will do my best to not do it again.
     
    #2 Salty, Feb 2, 2014
  3. Jacob_Elliott

    Jacob_Elliott New Member

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    I agree with Salty above and would like to add that it would be wrong of us to presume the guilty party will repeat whatever they are apologizing about. Just my 2¥
     
    #3 Jacob_Elliott, Feb 2, 2014
  4. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    Agreed, but three questions.

    Does one have to prove your apology was sincere?

    Does one have to apologize for forgiveness?

    Is forgiveness conditional upon one producing proof of the sincerity of the apology?
     
    #4 agedman, Feb 2, 2014
  5. prophet

    prophet Active Member
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    Luk 17:4-6
    4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
    5 And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.
    6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.
     
    #5 prophet, Feb 2, 2014
  6. Jacob_Elliott

    Jacob_Elliott New Member

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    Yes and even if he does we should once again forgive him! Thank you Prophet!
     
    #6 Jacob_Elliott, Feb 2, 2014
  7. JohnDeereFan

    JohnDeereFan Well-Known Member
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    First of all, I find it funny that you would hold man to a higher standard than God.

    Second, the troll in question never acknowledged that he did anything wrong, never acknowledged his bad behavior, and never expressed any desire to make amends. So where was the "apology"?

    An apology would have been, "I was wrong to insult and slander people for no reason and to send insulting PMs. I'm sorry and I will stop insulting and slandering people". That's not what happened at all. He was just sorry he got caught and wanted sympathy, to try to make himself the victim, rather than the instigator.

    Even while you claim he was apologizing for insulting and slandering, he was still insulting and slandering and still sent me insulting PMs.

    "Apologizing" out of one side of your mouth, while continuing to do the thing you're allegedly apologizing for with no intention of stopping is not an apology.

    If I said, "I'm sorry I called you a jerk, you idiot", would you really consider that an apology?
     
    #7 JohnDeereFan, Feb 3, 2014
  8. JohnDeereFan

    JohnDeereFan Well-Known Member
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    ...Which never occurred. Not only did the poster not acknowledged that what he did was wrong, he was still sending insulting and slandering, both publically and by PM, even while posting in the "apology" thread.
     
    #8 JohnDeereFan, Feb 3, 2014
  9. preacher4truth

    preacher4truth Active Member

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    I love the 'apologies' that come via PM that state it something like this: 'I'm sorry for insulting you in such and such thread but it's really all your fault for taking it that way.'

    A real apology doesn't include a 'but' as in the above context. It's totally lame IMO and no apology at all. A true apology man's up and takes all the blame, after all, that is what a real apology is about.
     
    #9 preacher4truth, Feb 3, 2014
  10. Rippon

    Rippon Well-Known Member
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    Amen to the above.
     
    #10 Rippon, Feb 3, 2014
  11. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    What makes an apology acceptable? Flowers? A gift card?
     
    #11 Jkdbuck76, Feb 3, 2014
  12. Rippon

    Rippon Well-Known Member
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    Chocolates for women. Some chew tobacco for the men. :wavey:
     
    #12 Rippon, Feb 3, 2014
  13. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire Well-Known Member
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    Ohhhhhhh....that's funny. More people should have your sence of humor buddy.:thumbs:
     
    #13 Earth Wind and Fire, Feb 3, 2014
  14. Zaac

    Zaac Well-Known Member

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    There have been several threads in relation to this closed already because they inevitably deteriorate. It's best to leave this alone and to stop making additional threads for BB members to act this way towards one another.

    This needs to be handled behind the scenes.

    If there is a mod present, I think this thread needs to be closed with a quickness.
     
    #14 Zaac, Feb 3, 2014
  15. JohnDeereFan

    JohnDeereFan Well-Known Member
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    Unfortunately, the poster in question is a protected member so his behavior will not be questioned and certainly not "handled".
     
    #15 JohnDeereFan, Feb 3, 2014
  16. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    Too bad u can't go back in time and tell my Mom (the dispenser of whoopins) that I am funny.

    Ppl need to calm down with each other.
     
    #16 Jkdbuck76, Feb 3, 2014
  17. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    Scriptures, please.

    The OP mentioned no one, nor was directed at anyone.

    The OP presents the question of what constitutes an apology and what is the believer's response to an apology.

    The OP of the thread was not rehashing what was or wasn't done on another thread, but a question raised as to apology.

    1) I made no such claim at anytime in this thread.

    2) What is considered an apology and how the believer is to respond to an apology should be very much a part of this thread.

    3) The OP suggests that forgiveness doesn't wait upon the level, type, construction, verbiage, attitude, ..., or even if an apology is offered. Forgiveness is to be given, and the automatic attitude (deserved or not) because: First, the believer is forgiven. Second, because it seems (according to the Lord's prayer) that the believer's own forgiveness is to be an example of God's forgiving - all offenses - even those offenses committed unaware.
     
    #17 agedman, Feb 3, 2014
  18. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    There is "no poster in question."

    Would you please go back through this thread and see:

    1) If the thread OP was directed in support or opposition of any specific poster?

    2) If the thread OP is attempting to present what believers should hold as Scripture principle as it applies to apology and forgiveness.

    3) Who are/is the ONLY poster(s) who bring(s) up the attitude of others and sees this thread as defending someone else?
     
    #18 agedman, Feb 3, 2014
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