It’s Fun being Pope!

Imagine a job where you’re honored, praised and applauded everywhere you go.

No matter what you do your praises are being sung.

That's what happens when you get hired as Pope!

Kiss the smelly feet of nasty criminals. The audience applauds.

Kiss the deformed face of a poor soul. The audience shouts, ‘Hurrah!’

Kiss a crying poopy baby. The audience swoons, ‘Ahhhh.’

Ride in a white jeep, waving. The audience goes bananas. “Viva il Papa!”

Stumble through a monotone sermon entitled, ‘Be Nice.’ The audience is mesmerized.

Tell a lame joke. Uncontrolled laughter erupts.

These are not the only reasons it’s fun being Pope.

You get to wear an array of religious costumes.

Sometimes the most difficult decision of the day is determining which religious costume to wear!

“Let’s see. This morning I think I should wear my brightest white costume. Then when I pray the Angelus from my balcony the sun’s rays will hit my robes and reflect back to the crowd proving I am the Light of the World.”

You also get to wear a wide variety of religious hats.

Although there is an entire room in the Vatican Palace dedicated to hold nothing but the priceless jewel-laden crowns, diadems, miters and tiaras from centuries past, it has lately been decided by the Holy See that in today’s enlightened culture wearing a triple crowned jeweled tiara would be viewed by the non-Catholic public as prideful, pretentious and in extremely bad taste --- given the fact that the Christ the Pope pretends to represent always reproved earthly vanity and pomp, telling the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give it to the poor.

It’s also so much fun to meet celebrities.

Imagine. Celebrities that the world would love to meet are eager to meet you!

Some will even give a private performance. Such joy! Just you and Madonna!

And let’s not forget all the Heads of State and apostate Evangelicals that grovel at your feet.

Such an exhilarating sense of power and prestige!

And did I mention the traveling?

South Korea last week. Albania this week.

Maybe Philadelphia next year for the 2015 World Meeting of Families. Who knows? It all depends whether or not the Philadelphia faithful ‘show their love’ by sending the required Peter’s Pence to enrich the Vatican’s coffers.

After all, it costs money to be Pope.

(Surely the Pope must realize that Philadelphia is still reeling financially because of the $11 million in legal costs incurred due to the severely deficient ‘Family Values’ of its priests.)

And how about the power to make new gods?

Whee!

Remember Pope John 23 and Pope John Paul II?

You thought they were dead.

With the sprinkling of a little holy water, the waving of some holy incense and a few carefully chosen holy Latin words……Presto Chango…..Pope Francis has made 2 new gods to whom the faithful can now pray with much assurance.

Now that's power!

And for a final feather in the Pope’s miter he will always be considered the most popular and beloved ‘Person of the Year.’

When you’re Pope that award is a shoo-in.



Yes, it’s fun being Pope....especially since there's no nagging wife telling you how the cow ate the cabbage!

 

It's also fun being Cardinal!



Batman ain't got nothin' on His Eminence Cardinal Burke.

The embroidered negligee is particularly enticing.