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Infidelity question

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by freeatlast, Mar 26, 2011.

  1. MamaCW

    MamaCW New Member

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    Yes, in her mind she feels what she did is justified (and she doesn't like hearing anyone tell her that regardless of what he did, what she did is STILL wrong).. But for someone who knows the Lord and believes His Word, justification by retribution is unbiblical and sinful.

    Hmm..you know..maybe it is a good idea to pay attention to the kind of excuses being given...because you can see whether there is any kind of remorse by what comes out of the person's mouth...just like that person's situation, the excuses are usually followed by "it wont happen again"..
    That is where the betrayer has to really focus on can they forgive and believe that or not..
     
  2. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Very good. You are starting to see the point of this discussion. it needs to take another direction down the road and I hope it can as this sheds light on our confessions to God. Are we really confessing our sin or making excuses for why we sin and expecting forgiveness?
     
    #22 freeatlast, Mar 26, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2011
  3. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Neither then will I answer you.
     
  4. MamaCW

    MamaCW New Member

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    Thank you! I had not really thought about it that way..what your saying is that people who will make excuses for why they are sinning are basically thinking that those excuses as their "get out of jail free" cards.. which can in turn lead to future repeats because they may think if it worked once it'll work again?
     
  5. MamaCW

    MamaCW New Member

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    Wow! I feel convicted in a way! Now i'm trying to think of anything that i've ever done, asked for forgiveness for but made excuses to excuse my failure..because that would not have been a genuine confession for forgiveness!
     
  6. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Yes and more. We have been fed a pack of lies where we feel sorry for ourselves and even use our humanness as an excuse as to why we sin. Things like well we all sin every day, we all are human, no one is perfect, and on and on. The problem with these is that even though we might not literally say them to the Lord they are deeply ingrained in our hearts and render any so called confession void because we at least in part have some excuse for why we sin instead of just admitting we are totally responsible.
    The Lord gives us a promise that we will never be tempted above what we can handle so that alone means we sin because we love the sin more the Him. Several years ago when I relized this I had to do one of the most difficult things have ever had to do. That was to go to the Lord and admitt to Him I did not love Him as I ought. 1Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].

    Our sins should be a light to what really lies in our hearts and then we can properly confess and seek not only forgiveness but the renewing of the heart. Our hearts are wicked and need to be dealt with. So wicked we do not even know them according to scripture. Jer 17:9 The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?

    That passage is not saying that I cannot know your heart or you mine, but I cannot even know my own heart. The proof is that we have all done things then say something like this; I cannot believe I did that or said that. The reason is we think way too much of ourselves and our actions are actually showing what God sees in our hearts. If we are wise we will also see it through our sin, admit it and repent because we did it be all on our own through our own choice.

    One more thing. In 1John 1:9 it reads;
    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
    The word confess comes from a Greek word that is made up of two Greek words. and they mean “to say the same thing”. Confessing is not simply admitting we did something that God says is wrong. Confessing is saying the same thing about it as God does and meaning it. God says that our sins are because we chose to do them, not because we have to. Unless we come with the same attitude about what we have done as God has we have not confessed our sin and part of that is turning from the sin.
     
    #26 freeatlast, Mar 26, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2011
  7. MamaCW

    MamaCW New Member

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    Amen! Well put!
     
  8. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    When a person says basically "It just happened", they are ignoring the fact that sin was involved. Sin doesn't "just happen" when we are believers. We need to fight the Spirit in us to sin. I know - I do it myself. So the proper response for the spouse who was the offender would have been to say "I sinned against you and against God. There was no excuse for what I did and I am ashamed that I walked into that sin. Please forgive me and pray for me and with me that I can stand up against this in the future. I'm going to go for some counseling and I think it would be good for both of us to go because I know I hurt you deeply and it's going to take a lot of work to restore any trust. Would you be willing to work with me?" THAT is a different response and one that I would much more likely be inclined to respond in the positive.
     
  9. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Yes Ann. We are to take full responsibility for our sin and that cannot happen if we hold any excuse for our sin. We do not sin because we are sinners, weak, human, in the flesh, it was a mistake, no one is perfect, or any other reason. We sin because we choose sin over the Lord. All sin is a willful act on our part and no one has ever comitted a sin they had to. So unless we come to the Lord with the heart confessing what we did was a willful choice to go against His love and will seeking to turn from our sin we are not confessing our sin.
     
    #29 freeatlast, Mar 26, 2011
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  10. HankD

    HankD Well-Known Member
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    I Agree with freeatlast.

    On the part of the betrayed, I believe they also have a responsibilty to at least try to forgive and to pray for grace if they are unable.

    Where would any of us be without God's grace?

    Otherwise, it does seem that the offended partner is free from staying in an unbearable environment with the day-to-day reminder of having to be in the offender's presence.

    HankD
     
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