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  #1  
Old 09-22-2007, 09:14 PM
SaggyWoman SaggyWoman is offline
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Default Free ordination papers

I was flippantly seeing what was online for ordination papers, and found one for free. There was a section, though, of the ad that read:

For a small love offering of only $19.50, you will receive Ordination and a beautiful MINISTERIAL CERTIFICATE. Order Now and we will also rush you FREE our finest quality MINISTERIAL WALLET LICENSE! Both will have your name imprinted and bear the official Church "Gold Seal". Our Credentials are legally recognized by all Government agencies.



roflol
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  #2  
Old 09-22-2007, 09:19 PM
PastorSBC1303 PastorSBC1303 is offline
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Amazing stuff...

You get what you pay for.
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  #3  
Old 09-22-2007, 09:58 PM
tinytim tinytim is offline
 
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It should go on to read...


"That's right folks, act now, and we will throw in a free membership to Baptistboard!!!! all for the low, low price of $19.50!!!

But wait!!! That's not all...
Want to really impress your parishoners? If you act within the next 25 minutes.. we will also give you a free Joel Osteen mask!!!
That way, when you don't feel like smiling, you just slip on the mask...

And KABOOM! you have a permanent smile!"


That's what I would have written anyway!! lol
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  #4  
Old 09-22-2007, 10:26 PM
TaterTot
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Saggy, lets get ordained
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  #5  
Old 09-22-2007, 10:32 PM
SaggyWoman SaggyWoman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaterTot
Saggy, lets get ordained

hehehehhe. Let's take up a love offering for their love offering and get erdained!!!!!
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  #6  
Old 09-22-2007, 10:40 PM
SaggyWoman SaggyWoman is offline
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Hey, TaterTot, Do you agree to this:

To apply for ordination into the ministry you must first agree with these beliefs.
You believe in Jesus Christ our Savior.
You agree to spread the word of Christianity in your own way.
Your actions and beliefs should not conflict with common decency.
We are all free to do as we will, as long as it does not harm or infringe on the rights and freedoms of others.

If you agree to all of the above and
wish to be ordained into the ministry fill in the form below and
order one of the minister startup packages below.


If so, you can be ordained!
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  #7  
Old 09-23-2007, 01:41 AM
standingfirminChrist standingfirminChrist is offline
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There is a Church in Mansfield, Ohio that sent me Ordination Certificate... after I had been ordainded through another denomination.

Their reasoning? My ordination would not allow me to officiate at weddings or funerals in any state but the one I was ordained in. LOL

My real ordination was after much study, proving of by the presbyter, and laying on of hands by the presbyter.

The second?? No proving, no laying on of hands. I reckon you understand why I don't use the one from Mansfield.

OH, btw, my original ordination does allow officiating in any state as long as I fill out permits at the courthouse first. Open Door tried to argue that I could not, but neighboring state told me as long as I brought my ministerial card that came with the Certificate from the fellowship where I was proved, there would be no problems.

Reckon Open Door was just trying to get into my meager finances?
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  #8  
Old 09-23-2007, 07:42 AM
exscentric exscentric is offline
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" hehehehhe. Let's take up a love offering for their love offering and get erdained!!!!!" Or in the case of Tim "nerdained" per his own admission in another thread.

I'm really honestly hurt. I went through that long drawn out process of ordination and didn't get a billfold card. Should have shopped around - dumby me, you never do anything right, stupid man you ..............
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  #9  
Old 09-23-2007, 11:54 AM
Deacon Deacon is offline
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Thumbs up

To my knowledge, Pennsylvania is the first state to restrict "mail-order" ordination [LINK].

Quote:
Consolidated Statutes is amended by adding a subsection to read:
Persons qualified to solemnize marriages.
(d) Definition.--As used in this section, the term "regularly established church or congregation" excludes churches or congregations through which ordination is available by mail order or via the Internet or any other electronic means.
HB1099 - GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF PENNSYLVANIA
Rob
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"If people put their faith in either a text or in a particular, modern method of reading a text, their faith is misplaced. People should be better educated theologically to realize that the Christian reading of scripture must be learned and practiced as an activity of faith in God, with assurance of the Holy Spirit will not lead us to perdition if we read in faith and with love as our guide and goal."
The Reliability of the New Testament: Bart Ehrman and Daniel Wallace in Dialogue, p.92-93
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  #10  
Old 09-23-2007, 01:28 PM
tinytim tinytim is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by exscentric
" hehehehhe. Let's take up a love offering for their love offering and get erdained!!!!!" Or in the case of Tim "nerdained" per his own admission in another thread.

I'm really honestly hurt. I went through that long drawn out process of ordination and didn't get a billfold card. Should have shopped around - dumby me, you never do anything right, stupid man you ..............
I have an address to send money to the Saggy Tatertot Online Ordination Love offering: (STOOL for short) Just PM me..


Maybe after Saggy and Tatertot become ordained they can set you straight!
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