Hey good folks, Listen, My family's been here for about 6 months. We thought we found a church twice. We have never missed a Sunday, and even though the Army has demanded so at times, my Wednesdays missed have been minimal. We are having a very difficult time finding a church. Do you know of one? Please save my time and yours if you only know of one who: 1. Uses only hymns 2. Belittles you unless you homeschool 3. Has a pastor who screams 4. Has a pastor who is on perpetual vacation 5. Has a pastor who's fat. 6. Has a pastor who doesn't know that God still requires holiness on an island. 7. Preaches more on the KJV than on the blood of Christ. 8. Preaches Armenianism. 9. Has a pastor who's wife hates the ministry. 10. Has children who are unruly. Thanks in advance for any help you can offer. Bill P.S. If you have a sarcastic comment to offer, now would be a great time. I won't answer you-- so enjoy having the last word.