A Common Mistake In Christian Marriages.

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by JoReba, Feb 28, 2012.

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  1. JoReba

    JoReba
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    It is a notion often promoted within Christian groups, in marriage advice venues, and from behind the pulpit on Mothers' Day that one of the roles of a Christian wife is to serve her husband as an ethical and moral reference point during selected times when the husband might be "Just a little off of center" in his thinking and decision making as a Spiritual leader of the family and in The Church.

    In fact, it is even common for Pastors to laud their wife's ability to "see certain things" and then give selected verbal constraints to her husband in order to "help him stay on course."

    However nice and wifely this may appear, such a teaching or practice is not demonstrated in Scripture within a Godly marriage. In fact, Scripture clearly states that a woman is to learn in silence, is not to attempt to usurp the authority of a man, and is not to teach a man.

    Praise God for the utility and practical value of His Written Word as we conform our innermost thoughts to it, and leave the popularized notions of the World. Amen.
     
  2. annsni

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    God saw that a man alone was not good and so He created a helper for him. Not just someone to sit silently and watch him do his thing but someone to work with him, to counsel him to have him bounce ideas off of him and to be part of him. Remember that the two become "one" according to Scripture and when one part of the body is silent, there is a problem. Right now my feet are completely numb because of some medication I'm taking and so I cannot walk until I get feeling back. While the feet are still there and functional, they will not be able to give me feedback to tell me if what I'm doing is right and so it will be dangerous for me to walk. It is the same in a disfunctional marriage.

    I will instead of being a silent partner, be the wife that my husband needs me to be. I think he not only prefers it that way but so does God.
     
  3. abcgrad94

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    The scripture you refer to is in the context of the church, not the marriage. Twisting the scriptures to force a woman into a role of "doormat" is spiritual abuse, plain and simple.
     
  4. jbh28

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    :thumbsup::thumbsup:
     
  5. 12strings

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    Both aquilla & priscilla taught apollos. If what you say is true then the passages in matthew 18 & Galatians regarding correcting a fellow christian should apply only between men, between women, and one-way from a husband to his wife...but those passages make no such stipulation.

    If I am screaming at my 19 month old son for going in the kitchen when he is not allowed, and telling him he will burn in hell if he keeps disobeying me...Are you saying my wife's biblical duty is to stand by and support my handling of my spiritual leadership in my home? I would hope she would point out my foolishness before i did any long-term damage to my son's view of God.
     
  6. annsni

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    Or I would also hope that you could go to your wife with a problem in your soul and ask her for her advice and to ask her to then pray for you and to hold you accountable. Or to give you counsel on how to deal with an issue at work or with a friend. Or even what she thinks about a particular Scripture.
     
  7. Scarlett O.

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    "Feedest thou not those that trolleth and performeth works of iniquity!"

    1st Hezikiah 2:13, King James Version (Red Letter Edition)



     
  8. righteousdude2

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    Amen!

    Ann - you always have great insight. Thanks!
     
  9. annsni

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    Aww thanks. Right now we are going through some particularly difficult times in life and ministry. Hubby and I are each other's confidants. We are the only ones that we can be completely open with and talk things through. I can't imagine if I held the same ideas as the OP how my husband would deal with this. He'd honestly go crazy. I know I would go bonkers!! I can't talk to anyone else without gossiping. He can't talk to anyone without causing issues. So we need to talk to each other. So what I wrote is coming from a marriage that is very much living it. The OPs ideas are not what God designed and VERY unhealthy.
     
  10. menageriekeeper

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    The most common mistake in marriages? The wife doesn't know how to properly handle her rolling pin and iron skillet or how to judge when the use of such is necessary.

    :mad:





    :D
     
  11. mont974x4

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    It seems to me that some people would benefit from a study of submission. It most certainly does not mean my bride is my slave. It does mean she recognizes the authority God gave me, and its associated responsibilities before God, and as such is vital partner in life that is cherished and pursued and loved.

    A wife must see to that she respects her husband, but when he loves her the way he is called to love her then submission and respect come easily.
     
  12. annsni

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  13. David Lamb

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    I must say that in more than 40 years as a Christian, I have neither heard nor preached the idea that Christian wives are to serve their husbands as part-time ethical and moral reference-points. I won't even be preaching it on 18th March (Mothers' Day/Mothering Sunday here). Perhaps such teaching is prevelant in America.
     
  14. glfredrick

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    I agree and I am definitiely not egalatarian in my perspective!

    Those who make man the "king in his castle" and woman his "willing servant" have no clue about what the Scriptures actually teach about the marraige relationship and about the equal POSITION of each before God.

    Men are called to emulate Christ in marriage -- and the way HE gave Himself for the church. As I recall that involved an utter act of love and grace called crucifixion... Women are called to respect (and the love that they naturally have) their husbands as the heads of the household, in that their men, who emulate Christ, are worthy of walking with toward eternity.

    I seldom find married men who are actually willing to LOVE their wives the way that Scripture teaches. Rather, they desire to be loved as if they were loving themselves...
     
  15. HAMel

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    I think some might have misunderstood the point JoReba was trying to bring across?

    Perhaps he/she could expound a bit more?
     
  16. 12strings

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  17. mont974x4

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    You know I don't remember any Mother's Day sermon where the ladies were called to any sort of obedience or submission. They have all been used to honor the role of women in the lives of their husbands, children, and the Church.

    Maybe the OP has just had some bad luck in the sermons they have heard on the role of women in the church and in marriage?
     
  18. JoReba

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    Please step up with facts of Scripture about these ideas of a wife "counseling" her husband, having him "bounce ideas off of her," and the wife not being silent.

    If there is a "problem" with a wife being silent as Scripture specifies, is that "problem" God's problem for making a mistake through Apostle Paul's writings, or is it the wife's "problem" when she fails to follow Apostle Paul's Written Word of God in Corinthians? Remember, human rationalizations are not God's plan for righteousness before Him, but obedience to His agenda are what He trains Believers to pursue.

    Using a foot analogy to supposedly "understand" one's husband/wife relationship is not very wise or righteous, and is not a good way to "sense" what God prefers. Wives do not intuitively "Know what is best." Apostle Paul said so because "The woman [Eve] was the one deceived."

    Praise God we can always return to His Written Word for the facts. Amen.
     
  19. JoReba

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    Which is Godly:

    1.) Following human advice on how a wife should "lead her husband?"

    2.) Or, Follow The Word of God?

    Lol. Praise God for the power of His Word when compared to human nitions.
     
  20. mont974x4

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    The Word is a powerful source of truth. In fact, I believe it to be the only reliable source of truth.

    Biblical submission does not mean that our brides are to be silent door mats obeying our every whim. That denies the call for husbands to love our brides as Christ loved the Church. It also ignores the reality that communication must take place for their to be a healthy relationship. We see this in God's relationship with Adam and Eve prior to the fall. God planned, prior to the foundation of the world, to redeem His people so that the relationship that was damaged in The Fall could be restored.


    In chapter 2 Peter began giving some practical advice as to how people should behave in order to prove who they are in Christ, to the glory of God. In 2:18 we read how servants are called to submit to those that God has placed in authority over them. This word used for “submissive” in that verse is the same word we find here in 3:1 in regards to wives responsibility to their husbands. It is hupotasso
    G5293
    ὑποτάσσω
    hupotassō
    hoop-ot-as'-so
    From G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively to obey: - be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.
    It means to voluntarily place your own self under someone else in an orderly fashion. It is recognizing God’s ordained authority structure. We should notice that the calling is given to the person doing the submitting, not to the person in the position of authority. Now, believers in those positions being submitted to do have their own instructions, but those are addressed elsewhere. When we recognize and honor the authority of a person over us, especially a non-believer, we are honoring God and that is something that we need to keep in mind. In 2:13 we see we submit “for the Lord’s sake”.
    In 3:1 the wife is called to submit to her husband. This is in the context of each individual marriage relationship. My wife does not submit to another woman’s husband. He is not the God ordained head of her family. I am. The word hupotasso is also the word we find in Ephesians 5….
    Eph 5:22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

    Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
    This call to submit does not mean that women are any less than men. We should remember what we read in our Colossians study a few months ago…
    Col 3:9 Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices,
    Col 3:10 and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him--
    Col 3:11 a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.
    And what we read in Galatians…
    Gal 3:26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
    Gal 3:27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
    Gal 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
    Gal 3:29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's descendants, heirs according to promise.
    And then we see, here in 1 Peter, Ephesians, and Colossians how we are to “act like who we are in Christ” in the context of whatever role we have been called to play in life…whether slave, master, man, woman, husband or wife. So we see that scripturally we are equal before God but we are called to different roles. We can be, actually we are, equal but different. So, when we submit we are merely recognizing these various roles and have determined to behave according to our position as a way to honor God.
     
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