A Cure for the Chaos and Problems in Christian Homes

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by AVBunyan, Nov 25, 2004.

  1. AVBunyan

    AVBunyan
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    Our Christian homes are not what they should be – we all know this – we all struggle in the area of the home. Our society rises and falls based upon the spiritual success of the Christian home.

    Try this – throw out all the “Family Help” books, fire the marriage counselors, and turn off Dr. Phil!!!

    Open the scriptures to Ephesians 5 and let us keep it real simple – 3 simple commands. You folks may already know this but in case you don’t then here we go! I'm certainly no expert here but I've been blessed to have been under the same sound pastor for the past 22 years.

    1. Husbands, love your wives.

    Do you know why God commanded the man to love his wife? Because men don’t naturally love. We men are rough, crude, analytical, “deal with the facts” type creatures. We think with our heads based upon the facts. We are naturally tender. We are hard by nature. Our problem is not our wives – our problem is we don’t love our wives unconditionally. When our wives start acting up instead of seeking to be the big “corrector” maybe we need to see if we have been neglecting this simple command. But, one says, “Yea, but my wife is a rough one and can’t cook, clean, talks mean to me, etc.” So, God says to love her. “Yea, but my wife looks rough in the morning and when I get home!” Ok, love her. “Yea, but my wife….” Ok, love her. “Yea, if she would just submit then I’d love her!” God commanded you to love whether she submitted to you or not.

    Men need to love their wives no matter what.

    2. Wives, submit to your own husbands.

    Do you know why God commanded the wife to submit to their own husbands? Women don’t submit naturally. God gave them a tender heart – they naturally love but that submission is another thing. “Yea, but husband makes all the wrong decisions!” Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but my husband is a “derpis” sometimes!” (Derpis – our family name for being whacky or stupid.) Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but he is selfish, non-understanding, etc.” Ok, submit and trust God. “Yea, but he doesn’t love me!” God told you to submit. You were commanded to submit whether he loved you or not.

    Am I saying to submit to unscriptural or cruel requests? Of course not – you know what I’m talking about here.

    By the way – the scriptures say “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,” – notice the word “own” – think about this and women in the work place.

    Women need to submit to their own husbands.

    3. Children, obey your parents in the Lord.

    Do you know why God commanded the children to obey their parents? Children do not naturally obey. “Yea, but my parents are weird!” Ok, God told you to obey. “Yea, but I just don’t understand why they do things.” Ok, God told you to obey – you haven’t learned enough yet. “Yea, but my way is better.” God told you to obey.

    Children need to obey their parents.

    You see how simple that is – three commands:
    Husbands love.
    Wives submit.
    Children obey.

    Do you realize how much would be solved if we would obey those three simple commands!?!?!?
    Life is so simple – oh, the simplicity that is in Christ!!! Oh, how we make it so complicated.

    I close with a personal example. Years ago my wife and I were having some rough problems. We went to our preacher. He told us to both go home write down all our “grievances” and what we thought the problems were and then give them to him. After giving him our list of “grievances” he told us he would compile the list, study the issues, and then we would meet again at his house and he would give his thoughts on the matter.

    So, after a week we met at the house. We sat there – he gave us the list and asked us if it was accurate and he sat there a minute or two in complete quietness. He then sat back, looked at me and said, “Do you know what your problem is Brett? You are an unloving husband.” :eek:

    He then sat back and looked at my wife and said, “Do you know what your problem is Jan? You are an unsubmissive wife.” :eek:

    That was it – case closed – he never discussed all the details or our “grievances” against each other for our “grievances” were not the issue – the issue was we were not fulfilling the role God gave to both of us and that is what he spent his time expounding. That was a great lesson on marriage.

    We still struggle in these areas but at least we know where to look at first when problems arise.

    May God bless! [​IMG]

    [ November 25, 2004, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: AVBunyan ]
     
  2. Turpius

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    Amen brother!
     
  3. dianetavegia

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    Well said and VERY true.
     
  4. NaasPreacher (C4K)

    NaasPreacher (C4K)
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    Pretty simple, if we'd listen
     
  5. AVBunyan

    AVBunyan
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    Thanks gang, this is not origianl with me - my pastor has majored on the home for a long time - we are a small congregation so he knows our homes very well - he can look at our children in the services and can tell what is going on in the home. It's a battle ground, amen?

    May God bless your day of Thanksgiving and may all our days be a day of thanksgiving.

    Psa 106:1 Praise ye the LORD. O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

    An 'ole preacher once said:
    "Anything less than hell is a blessing!"
     
  6. untangled

    untangled
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    I believe obeying the Word of God would solve alot of problems. You have said it well AVBunyan.

    In Christ,

    Brooks
     
  7. graceb2u

    graceb2u
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    I have to admit that submit thing is hard. But I'm glad you brought it up. Time for me to take a good long look in this area. Thanks!
     
  8. joyfulkeeperathome

    joyfulkeeperathome
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    Great summary of the three major commands of the home!!! I appreciate your taking time to shine the light on these simple truths once again. May the Lord bless you!!!
     
  9. Paul33

    Paul33
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    Ecellent.

    I would add one more emphasis! (which you have already mentioned)

    Husbands, don't look at your wife to see if she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. Focus on your own responsibility and forget what her command says!

    Wives, same thing! Ignore what your husband is supposed to be doing, and focus on your own command.

    My wife and I have a great marriage. We only run into difficulties when I start looking at how well she is fulfilling her command and she starts looking at how well I'm fulfilling my command!

    Look to Christ and obey your own command!
     
  10. AVBunyan

    AVBunyan
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    Paul33 said:

    "My wife and I have a great marriage. We only run into difficulties when I start looking at how well she is fulfilling her command and she starts looking at how well I'm fulfilling my command!"

    Great point and good insight - thanks for adding that -

    May God bless
     
  11. Jabbezzz

    Jabbezzz
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    Agreed, the biblical text is the foundational instrument for all socio-relational needs, but does this automatically rule out marriage counseling, family helps and other similar facilitators of functional households? [​IMG]
     
  12. AVBunyan

    AVBunyan
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    We don't automatically rule them out but today it appears man have shunned the plain, simple teaching of scripture for these "professionals".

    May God bless
     
  13. dianetavegia

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    Jabezzzz... My answer to your question would be 'go to the expert'! God the Father. No thank you for these self proclaimed experts such as Dr. Phil, etc. The only self help book anyone needs is the Bible. [​IMG]
     
  14. Timtoolman

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    AVBunyan! Well said. It is very hard to be a loving husband all the time. I want to be selfish at times but I know that I am to be loving husband regardless if my wife is submissive or not. Which she usually is. [​IMG]
     
  15. robycop3

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    A few other modern things covered by Scripture(as is everything else!)...

    Children are not property. We are obligated by US law to provide their needs until they reach a legal age for adult status...Scripture says we are to provide a limitless amount of LOVE as long as you live.

    Your wife is not your property nor chattel either, men. God gave her a brain same as he did you. While there must be a final human authority in every family, and Scripture assigns that to the husband, marriage is a PARTNERSHIP, not an employer-employee relationship. Men, your exercise of final family authority must be made only after considering the others in your family. Remember, the original meaning of 'husband' is 'manager or steward', same as 'pastor' meant one who cared for animals, especially sheep. You, the husband. may want a new truck, but the whole family could use a second bathroom, & you can only afford one or the other.

    Wives...God gave you a brain, so USE IT. Help your husbands in their decision-making. The best ship's captain depends upon a great FIRST MATE for optimum sailing of the ship. Being "submissive" does NOT mean being a servant. If you perceive your hubby is making a poor decision, discuss it with him in a Godly manner. He isn't perfect, but neither are YOU. Raise your kids TOGETHER.
     

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