A Long Time, but an Answer to a Prayer

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by Benjamin, Nov 7, 2009.

  1. Benjamin

    Benjamin
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    Many years ago I had a fling/relationship with a young lady (Bobby Jo) from out of state who’d come out to stay with her cousin, and one day told me she was pregnant. At that time my life was a mess, so was hers and one thing lead to another and we very soon afterwards split up. She soon got into another relationship and several months later her cousin came up to me after seeing me in a pool hall one day and told me with a smirk that Bobby Jo had just had a baby, apparently with the new boyfriend thinking it was his. That is the last I ever heard of it.

    As time went by and I settled down this began to wear on me, but by the time I had decided to pursue the matter and find out the truth there was no way to find her. Much prayer has gone into this. Seven years ago while searching through an old file I found a slip of paper she had given me, which I thought was long lost, on it was her full name and home town in NC. I then located her father who had the same name and he gave me her phone number and I called her. She denied the situation with no explanations, claimed not to remember things, and I was only careful to not offend her in any way.

    I then wrote her a letter and went into some more detail and asked her if nothing else to please give me peace of mind by letting me pay for a DNA test. I never got a response.

    I got a call today from a 26 year old woman from NC whose mother had died two years ago; while searching through an old suit case she found this letter written by me which also had a picture I sent of me with my daughter in hopes that if there was a resemblance to her daughter that she might reconsider getting the test. This young lady also told me that she saw the picture and it looked amazingly as if it could have been her own.

    The man she knew to be her father was very abusive and left when she was two, he later died of an OD when she was ten. She said she was feeling left alone without any parents and looking for pictures when she found this letter today. She also has other reasons to believe that my suspicions could be true and agrees we should have the DNA test as soon as possible.

    After all these years I don’t know what to think anymore other than if I’m wrong I’m going to feel pretty stupid, but if I’m right I have gained a daughter and she a father and that would be a very special blessing.
     
  2. Gina B

    Gina B
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    Wow! That would indeed be a blessing for both of you.

    Even if the paternity test turns out to be negative, perhaps you are still willing to be a good influence on this young lady's life and still gain a daughter. It sound as if she could use a father. I can't imagine how painful it will be for her if the test shows it is not you AND you no longer have any communication with her. Whether it is justified or not for you to ignore her after that point, it will still be a deep blow to her....and who would she turn to? She's already turning to photos and other inanimate things for comfort. I'm urging you to consider that before these results come in. No matter what a medical test says, both of your opportunities are in front of your faces. I hope both of you take advantage of that.
     
  3. Benjamin

    Benjamin
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    Gina, it's good to hear you reiterate my feelings about this and my concerns about giving her any false hopes. All these years I would have given this maybe as high as about a 90% chance that I am correct. I have just ordered the paternity test and my heart is pounding hard just thinking about it. It will take about 7-10 days as everything is being mailed next day air.

    I'm going to have a lot to deal with either way. Responsibility wise if it is positive I can never make up for all that may have been lost such as times when she really needed me there to quide, protect her and give her my love. But I am sure willing to try. If negative my heart still goes out to her, especially after all this time of wondering.
     
  4. SaggyWoman

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    Very interesting. And amazing.
     

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