A Non-Controversial Question

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Paul3144, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. Paul3144

    Paul3144
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    I don't want to start a fight on here but I had a question that I can't seem to figure out. Is it okay for a pants wearing Calvinist woman pastor to write a sermon advocating the gap theory while drinking a glass of wine and listening to rock music on her iPod?

    I hope you people can help me with this pressing issue. I'm sure everyone will be in full agreement on the answer and there won't be any arguing.
     
  2. Amy.G

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    Only if she isn't dancing. [​IMG]
     
  3. abcgrad94

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    Only if the other Calvinists believe she was predestined to do so. . .
     
  4. Berean

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    Just Do it!
     
  5. preachinjesus

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    Has she prayed in tongues and is wearing a head covering?
     
  6. preacher4truth

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    WHICH rock band is she listening to and WHICH song!!!!!???? THIS is the proving ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    :tongue3:
     
  7. SolaSaint

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    anyone can write a sermon but can she spit it out?
     
  8. John of Japan

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    What's her position on the Japanese Bible versions?? :type:
     
  9. convicted1

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    Nope, she can't!! First of all, she's drinking wine, and that's a major "no no", because it will stain the carpet. If she drank a beer, well, that might make it better.

    Now, the pants. Are we talking about blue jeans, or dress slacks? Dress slacks would be okay in the city churches, and blue jeans in the country churches.

    Rock band? Anything with "big hair" and she's "winner, winner, chicken dinner!!" Now, if we're talking Warrant, Wasp, RATT, then toss her out yesterday! I know those three bands wore "big hair', but they were "weenie" wanna be rock bands, IMHO. Now, if she wore more makeup than Gene Simmons, and had a tongue to match, out she goes!!

    Gap theory? Depends. Are you stating she has a gap in her teeth? Or did she buy her pants at Gap? If she has a gap in her teeth, she can drink her beer with a straw, using the gap as sort of a "straw holder".

    Another thing that would cause me to say no to her is that she has an iPod, and that is so yesterday! If she had an iPad, now, that would also cause me to rethink things through.

    And always remember this. She is a Calvinist, and whatever she wore, drank, said, did, etc. she was "foreordained" to do it.....LOL :tongue3:
     
    #9 convicted1, Jul 1, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2011
  10. Salty

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    I would think all would agree it would be al right if she has a non-gender specific name, such as Dana, Toni ect. and then of course, her husband must approve all messages.
     
  11. Jim1999

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    Oh you meant trousers, not pants. Pants are ladies undies!!!! She can't be calvinist though; she's got the free willies!

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  12. David Lamb

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    "Pants" in British English usually refers to an item men's underwear, whether worn by a Calvinist or an Arminian. The equivalent for women is usually "panties" or "knickers". Again, the woman's soteriology makes no difference. :)
     
  13. rbell

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    I need some clarification...

    -Will all her Scripture references be from the KJV...er, KJB?
    -If she slips and falls while undertaking this task, will her medical care be provided by Obamacare?
    -It's OK for her to listen to the music on an iPod...but please tell me she's writing the sermon on a non-Mac product...
    -Finally...will she use PowerPoint to put the sermon notes up on the screen?

    Please answer ASAP. I'm finding myself unable to sleep because of these unanswered questions... :D :D
     
  14. th1bill

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    I read a few of the replies and see that everyone got silly, which is a good deal better that ridiculous fights that pretend to be discussions, Iĺl try not to irritate anyone but be serious. There is a passage, 1Tim. 3:2, that gives the qualifications for the Pastor of any church and Conservative Baptists, like myself hold very tightly to and right off the bat, if this woman is a Pastor and there are men in that Church Family, she is disqualified. Please note that there are circumstances under which she can be but not if there is one male human-being in that Church Family. Now, the music, I´ll worry about that only if I know the music fails to meet Christian Moral Standards and all R&R does not fail that test. And as for the wine, if she isn´t drinking Thunderbird, Mad Dog 20/20 or similar, a bottle at a time, I´m going to keep my mouth shut.

    I hope this helps and may God bless!
     
  15. preacher4truth

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    LOL!!! Shucks, I cannot find one thing in what you've said that is irritating!!!!! Can you...uh..."elaborate!!!???" :laugh:
     
  16. Paul3144

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    What if the only male human being in the church is in a persistent vegetative state like Terri Schiavo?

    What if she's listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

    I have got more information on this situation- she uses the NIV. Is that okay?
     
  17. Tom Bryant

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    All of this is ok... as long as she isn't listening to Justin Bieber! That would be sin.
     
  18. Dr. Bob

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    The NIV!! >insert: gasp< This changes the situation and motivates my obviously-needed reply. This IS controversial.

    The libertarian licentious spirit seems to be pervasive in this woman. I am assuming she is a non-Baptist (if a calvinist, probably a closet paedo-baptizing type) who is posing here on the BB as a MALE and as a BAPTIST.

    I will assemble the admin/moderator sanhedrin in private session and root out this daughter of Jezebel. Perhaps even get insights from our mentor and spiritual head, Torquemada.

    We cannot tolerate this infiltration on the BB and are unleashing the hounds. Is she masquerading as "Jim" or "Bell" or "David" or "Bill" or "Salty" or "C4K"? Or even as "Paul" himself?
     
  19. SBCPreacher

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    Absolutely!
     
  20. Jim1999

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    I vow that I have never been mistaken for a woman!!!!

    Cheers,

    Jim
     

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