A Rediculous Bible

Discussion in 'Bible Versions/Translations' started by JRG39402, Nov 3, 2006.

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  1. JRG39402

    JRG39402
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  2. JRG39402

    JRG39402
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    Here is a "passage"

    John Chapter 19:1-11 1. Then Pilate treated Jesus like he was a tyrant, he tied him up and gave him a beat down that was violent.
    2. It was real ugly the way the soldiers played it, trying to leave the sacred degraded drawing blood with the crown of thorns they braided and purple robes.
    3. And if that wasn't low enough with the clothes, they shouted "hail the Jews’ King" counterfeit esteem from foes and body blows.
    4. Then Pilate stepped in and told the crowd that he had checked him and now they could inspect him cause all that he could find was perfection.
    5. After that Pilate brought Jesus out on parade to persuade the crowd with the thorns and the robe to keep up the charade.
    6. When the chief priest peeped Jesus they freaked, they're beef ran deep with emotional heat, worse than a den of tigers, crucifiers, Pilate told them "do your own dirt, he doesn't even have any priors."
    7. The Jews answered, "we keep it raw, he can't escape the claw of Jewish law, he's got to die, deifying self is the ultimate flaw".
    8. After Pilate heard this, reality started to surface, what he interpreted made him afraid and nervous.
    9. He was swollen seeing the web that was woven, so Pilate returned to the judgment hall where they were holding him. And started interrogating "what set you from?" Some answers need to start unfolding, but Jesus stood frozen cause his silence was golden.
    10. Then Pilate said “Oh, you got the nerve to plead the fifth, don’t you know I can lift the charges and make your freedom a gift?"
    11. Then Jesus responded "you're not a player, you only a boss on paper, the only power you savor was given by the creator, and besides the one whose sin was truly major was the betrayer who went astray and sold out the savior."
     
  3. av1611jim

    av1611jim
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    What's wrong with this? It has the message in it doesn't it? As long as the message is there, then it is Scripture right?
     
  4. Linda64

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    Surely you must be kidding!!! That junk doesn't even come close to God's Word. With the nic "av1611", I would have thought you would be defending the Authorized Version (KJV), which IS God's preserved, inerrant and inspired Word. Something is wrong with this picture!
     
  5. Amy.G

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    :(
    Sarcasm? I hope.
     
  6. EdSutton

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    RE: A RIDICULOUS Bible

    Languge Cop just drove through on patrol, as you can tell! He said to occasionally use "spell-check"! Or a dictionary! :rolleyes:

    A Rap Bible commentary? :tonofbricks: Why does that sound like an oxymoron, to bergin with?

    And suddenly, I realize just how good "The Message", "Phillips" and "The Living Bible" actually are, by comparison! :BangHead:

    Can't speak for all of it, as I've read none of it, save the passage posted, but that passage alone, gives new meaning to "a bad paraphrase"!

    Ed
     
  7. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    Sometimes a Bible is written with a specific people in mind, and as ridiculous as it may sound to us, it may very well fit the bill for someone.

    I think of the Cockney Bible, a version written in the common language to East Londoners, known as Cockney Rhyme. It was written in an attempt to reach the Cockney youth of East London, England. It may sound crude to you, but it got young people back into reading the Bible.

    Sample: "And so Jesus made a Jim Skinner for 5,ooo geezers with just five loaves of Uncle Fred and two Lillian Gish."

    Jim Skinner is dinner' geezers =man or person; Uncle Fred is bread and Lillian Gish is fish.............Then, Noah "built a bloomin' massive nanny", or "David killed that massive geezer Goliath with his slinger..."

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  8. EdSutton

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    Actually, I probably owe the late J. B. Phillips' memory an apology, for this inclusion. He did not, strictly speaking, intend a 'paraphrase' as much as a version "in the style of 'modern speech'". Both the late Kenneth Taylor and Eugene Peterson intended a 'paraphrase', in their version.

    Ed
     
  9. tinytim

    tinytim
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    Citizens Arrest...Citizens Arrest... I just caught the language cop in a misspell!!!! I think you mean "begin" instead of "bergin"!!!

    I couldn't resist!!! lol :tongue3:
     
  10. EdSutton

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    Actually, I said Language Cop "drove through on patrol". He didn't hang around to check my fat, neuropathic fingers typing, however, as I did use the past tense regarding his appearance. And you did properly 'correct' my typo- Thanks!

    Ed
     
    #10 EdSutton, Nov 3, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2006
  11. av1611jim

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    Yes, it was sarcasm intended for a certain group who are constantly harping that same tired old line in defense of "modern" versions.

    I couldn't resist.
     
  12. av1611jim

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    Linda;
    see my post above this one.
     
  13. robycop3

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    Yeah, RIIIGGHHTT! We all know God retired in 1611 and doesn't keep His word updated any more. It's frozen in 17 th century English.
     
  14. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    Come on folks - we are only on page two and have already turned this to a KJVO "debate" again.

    Get back to the topic - or the thread will be closed. No more warnings.
     
  15. Keith M

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    From The Epic:

    In the beginning was the Word, the manifest logic God of heard - unblurred shining from the inner sanctum of the Third. (John 1:1)

    From a real Bible (NKJV):

    In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1)

    It is quite obvious just from one verse that whoever put together The Epic has no reverence for God's word. In this verse alone The Epic goes where no Bible version has ever gone. They got the first 6 words right, but after that they went way out in left field. This isn't a Bible translation. It is a total waste of time. It is bad enough that rap is pervading our society these days. But when someone tries to put it in God's word they're going a little too far. Or maybe I should say "a lot too far!"

    I sent an e-mail to the address listed at the bottom of the web page. Why don't all of you do the same? Sending a bunch of e-mails to [email protected] just might convince the person(s) responsible that this is garbage.
     
    #15 Keith M, Nov 4, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2006
  16. John of Japan

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    Shizzam! Way to go, Barney, um Tim!
     
  17. av1611jim

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    My sarcasm was making a point which I guess was missed by most.
    1. This does have the 'message' of Christ in it.
    2. What is wrong with that?
    3. As far as rap is concerned, big deal. Haven't you heard of Christian rap? They are reaching a specific audience and there are a few here who have defended their use of rap. Why not this medium also?
    4. Is this the line where folks will make a stand against the encroachment of the world's way upon the people of God? Or not?

    I say, NOT.

    This is just one more example of the idiocy of these multiplied "Bible of the Month" clowns.

    Not long ago I posted a link to the CBD site advertising the new "magazine format Bible for teens" and as I recall, not too many objected to that idea either. When or where will it stop? I submit it won't stop as long as the church continues its downward slid to irrelevance.
     
  18. mcdirector

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    I looked around the site a bit -- not long. IMHO, it's a paraphrase and not a VERSION, but I didn't see anywhere that called it a version. I did see a timeline that had a word-for-word section and a thought-for-though section. It had paraphrases in the thought-for-thought section, so I don't know what the publisher actually thinks.

    Hopefully those who pick this up will learn something and gain a desire to go to a version that is tried and true.

    And IMHO, this is no different than curriculum writers taking scripture and putting it into story form or me telling the story from the Scripture in my own words.
     
  19. DeclareHim

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    I would have to agree with Jim if it brings others to Christ and gets them to read the Bible I'm all for it.
     
  20. deacon jd

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    Great point Jim. Where is the line? Where will it stop.
     
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