A Redneck Love Song... I Found On The Web

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by tyndale1946, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. tyndale1946

    tyndale1946
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    Thought y'all would enjoy this... Brother Glen

    Collards is green,
    my dog's name is Blue
    and I'm so lucky
    to have a sweet thang like you.

    Yore hair is like cornsilk
    a-flapping in the breeze.
    Softer than Blue's
    and without all them fleas.

    You move like the bass,
    which excite me in May.
    You ain't got no scales
    but I luv you anyway.

    Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
    jist a-fry'n in the pan.
    Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
    right out of the can.

    You have some'a yore teeth,
    for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high
    when we're in a crowd.

    On special occasions,
    when you shave under yore arms,
    well, I'm in hawg heaven,
    and awed by yore charms.

    Still them fellers at work,
    they all want to know,
    what I did to deserve
    such a purdy, young doe.

    Like a good roll of duct tape
    yo're there fer yore man,
    to patch up life's troubles
    and fix what you can.

    Yo're as cute as a junebug
    a-buzzin' overhead.
    You ain't mean like those far ants
    I found in my bed.

    Cut from the best cloth
    like a plaid flannel shirt,
    you spark up my life
    more than a fresh load of dirt.

    When you hold me real tight
    like a padded gunrack,
    my life is complete;
    Ain't nuttin' I lack.

    Yore complexion, it's perfection,
    like the best vinyl sidin'.
    despite all the years,
    yore age, it keeps hidin'.

    Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
    with a RC cold drank,
    we go together
    like a skunk goes with stank.

    Some men, they buy chocolate
    for Valentine's Day;
    They git it at Wal-Mart,
    it's romantic that way.

    Some men git roses
    on that special day
    from the cooler at Kroger.
    "That's impressive," I say.

    Some men buy fine diamonds
    from a flea market booth.
    "Diamonds are forever,"
    they explain, suave and couth.

    But for this man, honey,
    these won't do.
    Cause yor'e too special,
    you sweet thang you.

    I got you a gift,
    without taste nor odor,
    more useful than diamonds...
    It's a new troll'n motor!!
     

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