Add a Little Humor to Church Newsletters, Bulletins and More ...

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by righteousdude2, Oct 7, 2014.

  1. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    A fellow believer, who always sends me some interestings things to use in my ministry newsletters and Sunday bulletins, sent this and I think many of you will find these not only tastefyl, but well worth adding to your correspondance to lighten things up.

    Some of these one-liners can be mixed in with sermon material to add levity to the message, also! :smilewinkgrin:

    Please feel free to pass this list on to your fellow pastors and friends.

    "Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end. ENJOY! :wavey:

    .. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

    .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

    .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

    .. The batteries were given out free of charge.

    .. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

    .. A will is a dead giveaway.

    .. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

    .. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

    .. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

    .. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

    .. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

    .. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

    .. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

    .. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

    .. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

    .. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

    .. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

    And the cream of the twisted crop, this year's big winner is:

    .. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

    ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN...IT IS CHEAP MEDICINE. :laugh:

    I remember some interesting lexophiles on Scrioture, but can't off hand can only remember the one that went like this: "When was the earliest tennis match recorded in the Bible? When David served in the courts of Saul!"

    If you have any more, I'd really appreciate hearing them. Thanks!
     
  2. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
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    We have a forum for humor but by special request are allowing this to hang out here on the general discussion just to "lighten" the day. Then it will be moved to appropriate humor section (where some posters sadly never go)
    :type:
     
  3. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    Gracias padre Bob:smilewinkgrin:
     

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