A fellow believer, who always sends me some interestings things to use in my ministry newsletters and Sunday bulletins, sent this and I think many of you will find these not only tastefyl, but well worth adding to your correspondance to lighten things up. Some of these one-liners can be mixed in with sermon material to add levity to the message, also! :smilewinkgrin: Please feel free to pass this list on to your fellow pastors and friends. "Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end. ENJOY! :wavey: .. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. .. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. .. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. .. The batteries were given out free of charge. .. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. .. A will is a dead giveaway. .. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. .. A boiled egg is hard to beat. .. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. .. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. .. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now. .. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired. .. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. .. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered. .. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. .. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye. .. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it. And the cream of the twisted crop, this year's big winner is: .. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end. ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN...IT IS CHEAP MEDICINE. :laugh: I remember some interesting lexophiles on Scrioture, but can't off hand can only remember the one that went like this: "When was the earliest tennis match recorded in the Bible? When David served in the courts of Saul!" If you have any more, I'd really appreciate hearing them. Thanks!