adults talking during services

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by abcgrad94, Nov 6, 2008.

  1. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    How do you view adults talking during a church service? Is it disrespectful, or not? What about during singing, announcements, or the offeratory? Do you chat with your friends while the choir is singing? Pass notes during the message?

    I've noticed a lot of people seem to have no problem with this, but I think it's very disrespectful. It also is distracting for me to play for offering and concentrate when I can hear people talking and laughing.

    So, what is your opinion?
     
  2. SBCPreacher

    SBCPreacher
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,764
    Likes Received:
    0
    There's a few senior adults that have been know to carry on a bit of a conversation from time to time during the preaching. The problem is that they are somewhat hard of hearing, and yes, it does bother those right around them. But no one dares say anything...

    I never notice them, but I'm kind of busy during the sermon.
     
  3. Servent

    Servent
    Expand Collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2003
    Messages:
    797
    Likes Received:
    0
    WE have two ladies in our Sunday school class who are always talking to each other during the lesson, (not about the lesson) it is very distracting. They are school teachers, try doing that in there class and see what happens.:tonofbricks:
     
  4. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,196
    Likes Received:
    374
    I think it's extremely disrespectful to the pastor/worship leader and those around them. I'd personally give them the "look" if it were during a time that talking was not allowed (we do have a greeting time after the prayer time) and then if it continued, I'd speak to them. "I'm sorry but could you please go out into the lobby to speak to each other? I'm trying to listen to the pastor and you're being very distracting to myself and I'm sure others. Thanks." would suffice.

    Our pastor has at times addressed it from the pulpit although he hates to do this because it really is going to embarrass someone. But if it's obvious and distracting to others, he'll ask them to leave so that others can listen. However, he won't do this if there are special circumstances - such as our mentally disabled friends speaking during the prayer time or something (most of them have a Sunday School class during the message so they're not there at that point). But then again, if someone is rude enough to have a discussion that can be heard by others, they need to take it outside.
     
  5. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8
    A few churches I have attended are not always quiet during the preaching and singing. They are always amening and talking .... but, of course, there are those talkers. I find them highly annoying. I have yet to get up and move---I would if there was space. hehehe.
     
  6. exscentric

    exscentric
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2004
    Messages:
    4,253
    Likes Received:
    16
    When preaching in a small church the deacons cell phone rang ---- and he answered it :laugh: Very short answer but totally blew me away. Thought about just stopping till he hung up but figured two rudes wouldn't make a rude right :laugh:
     
  7. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0

    So do I.. I teach the senior adult class, and a couple dear saints that over the card ministry does this... they don't realize how loud they are because they are up in yrs and bad hearing... I just get louder... unless it is really distracting, then I have been known to just shut up until they finish... I stand there and smile at them.... :D

    Then they say something funny... and we go on... for a couple weeks all is well... and they forget and do it again...

    I love people!
     
  8. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    People who talk during the service are rude, inconsiderate, and just plain lacking in manners. I've especially noticed that with elderly people. They're talking when the song leader is trying to get people's attention to start the singing, and they're still talking when the pastor gets up to preach. I never talk during any part of the service. If I want to visit, I do it before or after the service. Of course, too many people come late to the service and can't get out of the building fast enough at the last Amen, and it's impossible to even shake their hand. Then they probably go home and complain about about how unfriendly the people were.
     
    #8 Jon-Marc, Nov 7, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2008
  9. Jim1999

    Jim1999
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2002
    Messages:
    15,460
    Likes Received:
    0
    As a pastor, it is interesting to hear parishioners talk about other parishioners behaving in the pulpits during a service. You should stand at the pulpit and watch it......

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  10. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0
    What is funny is watching people trying to stay awake!

    I want to video tape a service with a helmet cam on one day, and play it back to them...
     
  11. Alive in Christ

    Alive in Christ
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2008
    Messages:
    3,822
    Likes Received:
    0
    The church I have been a part of for the last 3 years seems to have developed a culture where there is always...ALWAYS...a low mumur in the room from people talking. Not everyone, but maybe 10% of the crowd. Allthough its a low mumur, its always there. I play with the worship band, and we stay sitting up there after the music is done, so I hear what the pastor or teacher hears.

    In this particular church it is the norm, it is expected, and no attempt is made quiet it. The attitude seems to be that when we gather we are a "family" coming together, not pupils coming to a class or study hall. At yearly family reunions there is no "demanded" silence at any time, and the culture at this particular chuch is the same way

    Those who want to listen closely to the preaching/teaching/testimonies(about 90%) are free to, and those who wish to chat are free to.

    Personally, I find it somewhat refershing. And it never has bothered me at all. I choose to open the sciptures and "dig in" with the rest of the 90% who do, and the murmur has never bothered me in the least.

    And it doesnt seem to bother the pastor or teachers, either.



    :godisgood:
     
  12. just-want-peace

    just-want-peace
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2002
    Messages:
    5,505
    Likes Received:
    40
    I would recommend something that happened to me & a cousin when we were about 7-8 YO. (some 65+/- years ago)

    We were sitting down front, 2-4th row, while the choir as doing their "special". They were at a point where there was a tremendous crescendo and we were trying to talk to each other. We were speaking at least in a normal conversation level just so we could hear each other, when the director cut the choir off abruptly.

    Needless to say one of us got out about three words before it could be stopped, and the entire church heard us.

    This was back in the days when embarrassment was in vogue, and we sure were!

    So maybe if you plan a few choir numbers that can use this tactic, and they follow you real good, you could, I believe, put a quick stop to the chatterers.

    But then embarrassment is not in style to-day so this may not work! Might be worth a try tho!:thumbs:
     
  13. Jim1999

    Jim1999
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/Jim1999.jpg>

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2002
    Messages:
    15,460
    Likes Received:
    0
    If one watches the telly talk shows, you will see that it is normal for four or five people to all talk at the same time. Frankly, I don't hear anyone!

    In one church, there were two people who not only talked, but they turned around in the pew to talk. They couldn't even sit together.

    I decided to enter the church from the back and I announced the first hymn from there, I offered the opening prayer, read scripture and then preached,,needless to say, I conducted the whole service from the back......Not one person turned around to talk....maybe some things do work.....*smile*

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  14. Alcott

    Alcott
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Messages:
    7,456
    Likes Received:
    93
    We've had a few discussions about this before in my single adults' class for 30's and 40's, although it's usually more in regard to our own assembly and classes. In particular, the director has interrupted 'prayer requests and praises' time a few times because people continue to talk when others are "sharing" their tragedies or extolling their magnificent blessings. But if you know singles' departments in medium-to-large churches, you might guess that the director herself does a lot of talking and whispering in the worship services about activities, contacts, absences, et al. It's the same general story that lasts from nursery school to nursing home extension ... the message 'we' need to convey is important and now. More so than hearing about Annie Jo's cousin's sprained toe, or the 'miracle' of getting a promotion someone's been after for 5 years; or the pastor reading John 3:16 or Romans 8:28 or Jeremiah 29:11.

    I remember one such discussion about this, and some concluded that's just one of the 'flaws' about the 'system' that it's hard to do anything about. While some in our group talk to their close fellow members every day or 2 and keep up with what's happening, most of us only see each other that one day a week, so we tend to think of that as "our time," and we delay the formalities of assembly too long in 'fellowshipping' with each other and sometimes don't make visitors feel welcome by that behavior, besides not being respectful when others are sharing for the whole group their matters of concern.

    I know this thread was meant to be more about the worship assembly than Bible Study departments, but it comes down to the same things ... see friends who had something going on the past week, and we want to find out what happened, for example, instead of sit silently getting preached at. The casual attitudes of society-- reflected in this way, as well as in casual dress and a distaste for rigidity-- have just pushed us in that direction.
     
  15. SBCPreacher

    SBCPreacher
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,764
    Likes Received:
    0
    Tim, that must be a tough church if you have to preach in a helmet!
     
  16. Gold Dragon

    Gold Dragon
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Messages:
    3,837
    Likes Received:
    3
    I personally find it rude and distracting.

    But I've been to churches in other cultures where it was normal for people to walk in and out during the sermon and have their fellowship time during the sermon. Part of that is because the tradition of the church culture in that region was to have very long sermons and there simply was not enough time for fellowship so that is when it happened.

    I don't think I would be able to handle regularly attending there, but their members find a way to make it work.
     
  17. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    We had a deacon in one church who would fall asleep as soon as the service started and wake up when it was over. At another church we had a man who had his wristwatch alarm set to go off at 12 noon. Every Sunday you would hear a loud alarm go off. Then there are all the cell phones ringing during the service.
     

Share This Page

Loading...