Are women too picky?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by El_Guero, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. El_Guero

    El_Guero
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  2. mcdirector

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    I don't know about today, although I've got a few friends who have never married and never seem happy with anyone.

    since I've been married since Noah, I should probably once again try to keep my mouth shut. (try being the operative word here :tongue3: )
     
  3. Tom Bryant

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    i'M THANKFUL MY WIFE WASN'T :thumbsup: :godisgood:
     
  4. PJ

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    I don't know that I agree with the reasons given in the article ...

    :laugh: I hope we can all identify with your response, sir. I know I can! :laugh:
     
  5. I Am Blessed 24

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    I don't like the word 'picky'.

    I prefer the phrase, "We prefer high standards in the man we are going to spend the rest of our lives with."
     
  6. ccrobinson

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    Don't know if you meant this one to be answered by men or not, but here goes.

    I don't think the premise of the column is true. It seems to me that any woman with the maturity to get married learned long ago that there is no such thing as the perfect man. Except maybe in the movies.

    Here's what I find to be troubling.

    Any man who "settles" for a woman who's "good enough", presumably so that he can have somebody cook for him, clean for him, have free sex, whatever, is just asking for trouble. As somebody once told me, "Don't get married to somebody you can live with, get married to somebody you can't live without."
     
  7. menageriekeeper

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    I'm with I Am Blessed, I simply have high standards. But since I've been married since the Dark Ages my standards are at a standstill. :D
     
  8. Joshua Rhodes

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    Don't know if women are too picky, but I know my wife must not be!
     
  9. tinytim

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    I think you just proved that women are picky....
    They are even picky over the word "picky" :laugh: :love2:

    Just jokin... couldn't help myself:BangHead:
     
  10. PJ

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    :eek: :laugh: Ain't it the truth?!
     
  11. PastorSBC1303

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    Great advice.

    I am not sure that picky is the right word. But I do think that men and women both need to be more selective. Too many settle for someone for the wrong reasons instead of truly searching out the person the Lord has in store for them.
     
  12. PJ

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    [​IMG]
     
  13. Helen

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    Are women too picky? It depends on their age and degree of desperation!

    When I was young (teen) the boy I 'fell in love with' (any number of them) only had to be reasonably good looking, fun to be with, hopefully a good dancer (we did dance instead of shake in the sixties), and like me.

    After my husband of 20 years left (he had been a high school sweetheart), I was never even going to talk to a man socially again. I was ripped up by the betrayal.

    When Barry and I started to become friends, we were 12,000 miles apart and I was editing for him, so it was quite safe...

    When the friendship started to get more serious, I ended up in a Denny's one day for five hours with the co-author of his 1987 paper, wanting to know more about this man in Australia. Trevor, a math/statistics professor (and looks every inch the type...) told me that he had never met anyone in the world who referenced every minute of his life to Christ. Later in the conversation, he told me that if there were anyone whose shoes he would like to walk in, they would be Barry's.

    That told me I would be safe with this man. Our friendship had told me we shared the same faith, that he prayed often, that he could leave me in stitches with his sense of humor, that we both loved science, and that my retarded son, Chris, would not come as a shock to him as he had spent years caring for a mother (now deceased) who was bedridden after a severe heart attack and a sister who was epileptic and autistic.

    Was I picky? You bet I was. It had nothing to do with money, however, but with his character and faith and ability to cope with me and my baggage (emotional and otherwise).

    We will be celebrating our sixth wedding anniversary in 11 days. I am more in love with this man than on the day we were married (when I was actually scared to death deep inside!).

    My oldest son will be 33 on Saturday. He waited a long time to find the right girl. And he truly waited...

    She is wonderful and we are so excited about their engagement. He was as picky as ever any girl could have been. And God rewarded him with a fantastic young lady whom we are more than happy to welcome into the family. She has not been married before, is a teacher, is strong in her commitment to Christ, has a wonderful heart for people, and is a lot of fun to be with.

    Picky is a GOOD thing!
     
  14. donnA

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    Picky is definitely a good thing. You want a husband with high moral standards, who is going to be loving(not emotionally abusive), able to take care of you both financially, emotionally, and physically.
    Apparently the man who made the statement can't meet these types of things and thinks those women are too picky because of his short comings.
     
  15. ccrobinson

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    Uh, Donna, you may want to check the by-line of the article, because I'd bet that "Jenni Murray" is a woman. :smilewinkgrin:
     
  16. ituttut

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    Perhaps we are all "picky choosy". Just my thoughts:

    We should marry for one reason. Love for each other, and you make a good point saying we wouldn't wish to live apart from each other. Love is supreme; it is the thing (glue) that holds together. Some prefer a reference point against which other things can be evaluated (meaning their standards must be meet), and some out of fear of being an also ran. Then money, and/or power, and we can't forget the immature "romantic" marrying her Prince Charming, or his Princess on the pedestal, which is bound to fail. And some want a baby to love, and not the man; or a man in order to carry on his name.

    I married at the age of 19, my wife 17. Most say that is too young and probably won't last, but I say they are wrong if the two are in heartfelt love. But whether for "love", or of custom of families to make marriages, I believe a young age better serves, as most likely both should be virgins in their teens (today things are out of hand). History seems to point to Mary being about 15 when espoused to Joseph. The temptations grow as we grow, becoming wise in the way of the world.

    I see you list "free sex", of which I don't believe exists. The act of marriage is sex, and it will cost both in the marriage. Marriage provides regular loving sex, sanctioned by God, and should never encounter a point either willingly without cause withholding more than a few days, which could possible force one mate to commit Adultery/Fornication. The one that believes they are innocent could very well carry the heaviest burden.
     
    #16 ituttut, Oct 10, 2006
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 10, 2006
  17. ccrobinson

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    I think the biggest problem I have with the article is that the woman who wrote it is chastising other women for having certain standards that need to be met. She's holding up men who are seemingly willing to "settle" and saying that this is a good thing. It's not. Nobody should "settle" on a mate because they don't think they can find the kind of mate they really want.

    The author is saying that women in this day and age aren't willing to see that not all men are perfect, but I don't agree. I think that women are quite capable of seeing that men are imperfect, but they still have certain things they're looking for in their men. This isn't a bad thing at all.

    I agree, but let's not get hung up on the turn of the phrase. The real point I was driving at was that the idea of men being willing to "settle" on a certain mate, for whatever reason, is a bad thing. Men shouldn't be willing to "settle" on a mate for any reason.
     
  18. ituttut

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    Tony Bennett sings, "The second time around can be more lovely than the first", and I believe it can for some. I'm happy for you
     
  19. ituttut

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    No not bad at all. Answered mostly to agree with your "get married to somebody you can't live without", and to me this means love. Other references just my thoughts of "picky", including standards.
    Agree to close here what was opened, and also "whatever" doesn't cut it.
     
  20. Acumenical

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    The article makes a few good points. Some women are holding out for the perfect man who will never come, which makes life difficult for those of us who have many good qualities but who aren't their ideal. The good news is that I've noticed less and less of this recently. Perhaps both men and women are realizing that you can't have everything after all, although it is possible to find someone who makes your life sweeter and more complete. I'm still looking, but at least I know it's not hopeless. [​IMG]
     

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