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Discussion in 'Forum for Polls' started by SaggyWoman, Feb 18, 2009.
Give us the heads up on your thoughts and actions on dating....
When you read my answers, you gotta remember, it's been 45 years since my 'dating years', and we went strictly by Emily Post. I do believe my answers would be about the same today though.
If a guy can't afford to pay for a date, how's he gonna take care of a wife?!? After all, we didn't date someone we wouldn't want to marry!
From my own limited experience, girls asking guys out on date #1 tends to end in tears. That said, I think it's OK for a girl to ask a guy back ie: 2nd or subsequent dates, but the guy should do the running on #1. (FTR I'm married and although I asked Mrs B out first, she asked me out on the 2nd - but by then I was dating another woman because Mrs B had said on the 1st date that she only wanted to be friends! Long story, but we got there in the end.)
We're married close to 30 years now and I still get teased about how she arranged our first date.
It was a set up I tell you, I was framed!!!
In my very limited experience, I believe that the guy should be asking the girl out on the first date & should pay for it. I feel very strange having someone pay for my dinner, my ticket into the theater, & whatever else. After the first date or two, I don't have a problem being asked out.
I don't have a problem with girls asking me out on a first date either. I didn't put it down in the poll though. Let's face it, if I'm asked out on a date, I won't take offense. I'd say there is a good chance I would take her up on it. Having the money to go out on a date is a whole other story.
I can answer that! When you are married, you learn not spend 400+ bucks a month on dates!
If kids would only learn this, makes a lot of sense doesn't it.
I can only answer the poll based on my limited dating experience(dated one guy, the one I wanted to marry, and did) which after almost 30 years is probably a lot different then today.
Being a heavy stutterer I have always been more of an introvert. I had a couple of close friends who didn't make fun of me but I generally didn't speak unless absolutely necessary growing up. The girls I dated either asked me out or made it so obvious they accepted me as I was that it was more mutual "let's go" than it was asking for a date.
Dad was a Pastor so we were poor. I remember him preaching a revival and coming home with bushels of peas or corn... I started working at Burger King at 15 and gave my checks to the family. Since the girls were generally poor also, we did mostly free dating. Walks in the park, house parties, arcade (no games, just hanging out with friends) etc... If she had a few dollars she would pay and if I had a few dollars I would pay. Dutch was more like you buy the burger and I'll buy the fries or we'll both put our money together to see a movie or something.
Those were the days, you knew a girl liked you for you if she put up with all that...
I think I have a better answer, my wife makes more than I do and she has the job with the benefits... :godisgood:
Twelve years ago my wife asked me for our first date. It's a good thing too since we're both terrible at the flirting thing and I wasn't really looking for a girlfriend.
At the time, we were friends and enjoyed talking to eat other, but I didn't think she was interested in me at all and hadn't even considered asking her out. Once she invited me to a movie, I realized that she was probably a perfect match for me.
We went out that first time (and many other times) and she never had to ask again. Of course, we dated for a little over eight years before we became engaged (I proposed), and then it was another five months before we married.
I have asked "my guy" (the few guys I have "dated" for a longer period of time) out to do things with me. All the others, I have just waited to be asked out each time......I guess I am old school with limited modifications.
But how do you know whom you want to marry unless you get to know them? Dating serves that purpose.
I think the guy should be the one who pursues. I think this is more biblical than the woman asking a guy out. I've warned my son about girls who ask guys out because they tend to be trouble. They are more demanding and tend to be feminists.
I agree Marcia. This was certainly how it worked when my son was dating. The more forward the girl, the more trouble she was.
He is now married (6 months) to a lovely girl that he asked out.
I do tend to agree with this. They are aggressive women.
I was a minister when I courted my wife. Either her father or her mother sat in the same room as we sat together. I never kissed my wife until we married. I was surprised when we were allowed to kiss at our wedding.
We made a commitment to each other and love followed; it grew with us. We dated a few times. In fact, our best man drove her about more than did I. Mary worked at my father's shop and so did our best man. I was too busy with the church business.
Yet, my family and hers were counting the months to when our first child was born..it was 24 months! You can guess why they were counting months.
I guess you can guess why I have rather rigid views about dating, public intimacies etc....
How nice! :thumbsup: A lovely Christian girl, I assume?
I pray this for my son!
It didn't happen near enough (in my opinion at that time) but when a pretty girl asked me out I went. Do you know what I really love though? I love it when my wife asks me out.
Over the years, I was asked out a couple of times. Most of the time, things went well and we even ended up dating for a while until we realized we weren't right for each other. One of those times, it was a disaster from the very beginning and there wasn't a second date. The last time it happened, I ended up marrying her and it has been exceptional.
My track record for asking women out has not been nearly as good. I've been shot down probably half the time. Of the successful asks, many of them didn't make it much past the first date (and about half of those were negative experiences). On two occasions, the successful first date resulted in multi-year relationships. One ended on good terms after about two years and we are still on good terms even though I haven't talked to her in more than a decade. The second one I eventually married and had an agonizing and destructive multi-year breakup of our relationship that made me never want to date or marry again.
I would suggest not being averse to women asking men out (if you can stand it) because sometimes women have a better sense of the potential of a relationship than men have.
Way back when I was young, girls didn't usually ask a boy out, and she would have been considered to be too "forward".