Become a church member or not?

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by evangelist6589, Nov 13, 2013.

  1. evangelist6589

    evangelist6589
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    I have not become a member of my wife's church and remain a member of my former Baptist Church in SC and for one major reason and that is their position on alcohol. My wife's church thinks its some deep sin to even have a sip and will not allow liberty in this area. My previous church did not go that far and gave people liberty. I am a regular attender, but I cannot bow to the membership of a church that takes such a militant view on alcohol and all of this without looking at the evidences in the book God Gave Wine which I have been reading. I know its sad and my wife is madly in love with the church, but I just do not wish to lie or to bow to the wishes of someone that wants to control me and act as the Holy Spirit.

    So I guess indefinitely I will be a regular attender and not a member. Its really too bad.... I can still tithe even not a member.
     
    #1 evangelist6589, Nov 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2013
  2. InTheLight

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    Has your wife's church told you if you drink you can't be a member of their church?
     
  3. padredurand

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    I don't know what has me scratching my head more: looking for a church based on their stand on alcohol consumption or having your wife determine what church you attend.
     
  4. Winman

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    If you ask me, the biggest question is why a woman who obviously believes it is sinful to drink would marry a man who likes to drink, and why a man who believes it is ok to drink would marry a woman who thinks it is sinful to drink?

    What church you attend seems like a minor problem compared to this.
     
  5. webdog

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    While not wanting to be under the bondage of personal liberty, why are you still under the bondage of the tithe? Also, I don't find anywhere in the Bible where we have to make vows to a church in order to be classified as a member. I have no problem with people being regular attenders.
     
  6. Thousand Hills

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    Option A - Join, then complain about how much you don't like it.

    Option B - Continue to be a lone wolf, still complain about how much you don't like the wife's church.

    Option C - Take a break from seeking everyone's opinions on BB and face book, spend some time with your wife getting to know each other, find a church together.
     
  7. Thousand Hills

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    Amen, would like to trade some good "members" that haven't darkened the door in years for some "non-member" regular attenders.
     
  8. Salty

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    What good is your membership in SC?
    and I am sure your church uses the standard church convenant. The last statement being:
    We moreover engage that when we remove from this place we will, as soon as possible, unite with some other church where we can carry out the spirit of this covenant and the principles of God's Word.
    You are nothing more than deadwood of your "current church you are a member of.

    Have you consider contacting the pastor of your current membership church and ask his opionion?

    I have seen some excellent posts in this thread. Sounds like at the moment - this is a major problem for you. But here is the main question: Is is the Lord trying to give you a solid conviction, or is it the Devil trying to cause division and keep you from serving the Lord?

    I am curious about one thing - is you current membership church in communiting distance? If so, would your wife joining there? If she is not willing - well thats another situation.... (yes,would like an answer)
     
  9. Revmitchell

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    There is something fundamentally wrong with being divided from your wife over alcohol.
     
  10. evangelist6589

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    My authority is the scripture and not tradition, personal opinions, or emotions.
     
  11. evangelist6589

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    I am not bound to the tithe, but I choose to give money away freely. I do not believe in a NT Tithe, but believe in free-will giving. About being a member every church has a opinion. I have been to ones that did not make a big deal about this one, and others that did. Everyone is different and thinks they are right and others are wrong.

    Yes I have been to some Baptist Churches in SC that felt if you were not a member you were in sin, and other Baptist Churches that did not make a big deal about being a member.
     
  12. evangelist6589

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    Or just remain a regular attender. She can't be persuaded that her church is the best in the world. I find no harm or damage there and the people are nice and so I attend. The theology is not Reformed or Calvinist of which I have a issue, however they are also not full Arminian neither. I listen to Charles Stanley and he is not a Calvinist neither.

    However if I got it my way I would be in a Calvinist church where the Way of the Master evangelism program was taught and the preaching was Reformed in nature, and the people as nice as this church. I miss Sunrise Bible as that church was Calvinist. I also miss other churches where I have attended in other states that were Calvinist.

    However a problem in some of them is that the preaching was great, the people were rude and not friendly. Finding a church that is Reformed but also friendly can be a chore.

    This one is in a former state and one I liked.

    http://www.gracebibleonline.org

    They are Calvinist but also friendly...

    Another good one.

    http://sunrisebible.wix.com/sunrise-bible
     
    #12 evangelist6589, Nov 14, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2013
  13. evangelist6589

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    The scripture is my authority and not tradition nor emotions. She ale prefers using the KJV, while me the NIV & ESV. However the church in SS many others use various translations and its only a KJVP church and not Only and so I attend. If it were a only church I would be gone. She does not like the ESV nor NIV, but does not object to them.
     
  14. evangelist6589

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    Why do you seek top cause division in my marriage? We both have agreed to disagree on this one.
     
  15. Thousand Hills

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    Please elaborate. What is that made them rude?
     
  16. HAMel

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    evangelist..., I attended a church in Danville, Va., some 35 years ago that strictly enforced no alcohol consumption what-so-ever..., except if prescribed by a Doctor.

    ...huh?

    During this time I visited an existing member of said church and couldn't help but notice a few empty cans in his trash can.

    A few months ago I suffered with a severe stomach problem and tried alcohol only to be referred to as an alcoholic here on the forum. Well, it didn't (did not) work and I ended up having to deal with an really invasive operation. All is well now but it was a mess for a while.

    In the Mormon Church coffee is outlawed. Boy, I'd get booted out in a heartbeat.
     
  17. abcgrad94

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    Evangelist, there comes a time when you must decide what is a hill worth dying on, and what is a molehill not worth tripping over. I think Baptists, especially, want to make every molehill a mountain. We think we should agree on every single minute detail of the faith, and separate over silly, inconsequential opinions.

    You will NOT find a church that you agree with 100% so stop trying. Is it the BELIEF you just have a problem with, or the PRACTICE? What I mean by that is, if you join this church, will you have to change your behavior drastically? If you're visiting the bars every weekend or guzzling booze, then yes, this could be a problem and a stumblingblock to others in the church. If you only drink an occasional glass of wine at dinner in your own home, what's the problem? Does the church dictate you cannot do that?

    I think your bigger issue is that you are a Calvinist and need to find a Calvinist church. Please do not attend a non-Calvinist church and try to change them. This causes much division and bad feelings and harm. Find a church that you agree with doctrinaly on that subject.
     
  18. JonC

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    I think that you may need to evaluate the stance on alcohol as a test of membership. I say this for two reasons.

    First, this is such a minor issue. If it is really what is keeping you from becoming a member then it seems that there actually may be an issue, but not with that church. When Paul speaks of Christian liberty it is not to avoid becoming entangled with the “weaker” brother -instead he speaks of liberty that is tempered by love to strengthen one another. If we are not careful, we may look at our liberty as a personal liberty rather than being liberated in Christ. This is self-centered and IMHO this type of liberty is sin.

    Second, if I remember correctly, did you not (at one time) advocate abstinence rather than moderation because of the subjectivity of moderation and personal convictions against drinking. While not strictly forbidden by Scripture, it may lead to health issues (if abused, which is not normally the intent of the social drinker but often the outcome)? If I remember correctly, then it was a matter of conscience rather than a biblical dictate against alcohol. If so, you may want to revisit the reasons that you abandoned these convictions, where your conscience definitively changed, and why you would hold this liberty in such esteem so as to prevent you from becoming a part of a local congregation instead of remaining a guest.

    I once read that five ways we can be different from the world and stand in our culture are: Spirit; Speech; Stewardship; Sobriety; and Story. I believe this issue to be a matter of conscience, but the trump card is always brotherly love.

    Christian liberties are not rights that we exercise for our benefit or enjoyment - they are exercised for the glory of God. In your case, perhaps it is glorifying God to say that your conscience allows you to drink - but you refrain for Christ’s sake to uplift your brethren.

    How does your wife, as she is a member of this church, reconcile drinking with the church's stance?
     
    #18 JonC, Nov 14, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 14, 2013
  19. Yeshua1

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    Are their churches that would put being totally against any use of alcohol right in their statement of beliefs though?

    Would say that issue would be WAY down list if I was a member of any church, and would NOT have my wife and i split over just that issue!

    Nor refuse membership either, not unless they forced me to sign to never partake period...

    Heck, even mouthwash/toothpaste pretty have some in it
     
  20. Revmitchell

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    There is a problem with a wife that joins a church without their husband. There seems to be more to this situation than is being told here on this board. When a husband and wife are so divided over what church to join then there are some serious issues going on. There is definitely a lack of leadership in the home.
     

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