It's been a pretty crazy year and in a few days, the kicker might be coming. I spent over 8 hours the other day doing the final part of a test and will know what's going on in a few days. (and will go into that more when they tell me, they said approximately three days) No matter what the results, the one known thing at this point is that I will never again be capable of living on my my own. That is not an easy thing for me to come to terms with. It means my own choices are largely dependent on the needs, abilities, and willingness of others. There is a degree of resentment to that, where instead there should be gratefulness that there is help. Not that there isn't a lot of gratefulness, but WOW is it hard when you've been fierce about making things work for so long and suddenly you just can't! I would really appreciate prayer about this. Lots and lots of prayer. It's a very scary thing. I'm just glad it's hitting harder now and wasn't as bad when my girls were younger, though preferably nothing like this would ever happen. To anyone. Ever.