Biracial Marriage

I think I've made my points...and the common ground that can be found, has been.

I'm out.:wavey:

 

I'm Done

 

if I was a preacher yes.
Faithgirl

 

Know I'm joining this thread rather late, and forgive me if this has already been said, but HOGWASH! Spoken as a white wife of a black man, and mother to two beautiful, well adjusted, non-suffering bi-racial children. Who, btw, feel sorry for such racist and bigoted people as this. At least my son does, my daughter is too young to understand, and trust me he has heard some doozies from uneducated idiotic white people concerning his "race". Those seem to be the only times I am not upset with him for being short with an elder or laughing at them. If they are rude and self righteous enough to be so blunt to a mere child then they deserve whatever comes their way.

FTR, my husband is not all that different from myself, nor is his family all that diffrent from mine, other than skin color. Just what differences should be appreciated and preserved?

That's all I need to say on the matter, as it has already been beat to death ad nauseum. The fact that this is pure baloney just needed pointing out once again.

 

Preach it.
Faithgirl

 

You know, FP, the only "problems" kids have from being multiracial is problems from bigots who couldn't find a way to enter the 21st century if Doc Brown showed up in a Delorean time machine!

 

:laugh: Never thought of it that way, but I daresay you are correct.

Ya know, out of all the weird comments that have been directed at my son, my favorite was the one where some old white lady asked him what it was like to have a terrorist for a father because he looked "Arab" to her. I genuinely believe bigotry was the least of her problems. :laugh: Sheesh! :BangHead:

 

Well, this reminded me that while I am the half-breed (literally) in the marriage, my husband is the one pegged by the gov. for the do-not-fly list by the brilliant powers that be -- most likely for his dark and swarthy looks WE have held up more lines at more airports than I can count.

FP, did you give her your stoniest stare?

 

In all honesty I was shocked at first, but then I gave it my best shot. I was more shocked that she had the audacity to say anything in the first place. Even if she did believe he was part Arab why even bring it up?

Hey, at least your airport stories are not like a friend of mine. Her three year old is on the no-fly list. He is a little terror, but not in the sense they think.... :laugh:

 

You go girl!!
Bigoted racists are the scum of the earth...
I grew up in a family that was racists...
I hate family reunions! But when they start telling those ungodly jokes.. I start preaching on the sin of racism...

Some people need to grow up, and get right with God.

I can't imagine a preacher having convictions that are not found in the Bible but in racism...

 

Let me say this one more time for those that choose to listen.
I am not a racist. When I added my first post I mentioned that I would be called this and a bigot. I do not think one race is superior over another. People preach to people like me tolerance, and yet they are the ones that are intolerant of others just because they do not agree with them. As if that's not bad enough they begin to call them racists and bigots. I would never mistreat any child because of their race. I would never mistreat any adult because of their race. I work in Atlanta. The other night our crew existed of 7 men. All black except me. On other nights there may be one other white guy. These men are my friends. I've laughed with them, I've prayed with them. You don't know me, yet you feel licensed to slander me. I respect everybody else's decision on here in their relationships. More power to you. Don't hate me just because you disagree with me.

 

Cutter,

It seems to me that your stance is based on what is or is not confusing. So I am curious about a few things:

1) What causes the confusion, the marriage or the sinful ideas about race that may be encountered?

2) Will your stance change over time as these marriages are less confusing?

3) How does this apply to an ever growing trend of asian children being raised by white families?

I don't think you are racist, but I am concerned that the basis of your stance is loose. I don't think we are prepared to call all confusing things sinful..although if you wish to call my old stat professor sinful, that would be fine. ;-)

 

Since the ideas would stem from the marriage, I would say, the marriage is what causes the confusion.

The marriages will not be less confusing in my lifetime. Maybe in several generations, if it is the Lord's will and time permits.

These white parents are not the natural parents. Everyone knows when they see an Asian child with parents of a different race that it was adopted. Anybody that takes in a child of another ethnicity that needs a home is a saint. Thank God for them.

Thank you.

 

If I preach on salvation, a lots person who is rejecting Christ may be confused. Does the same apply there? I know that's an extreme example, and maybe akin to comparing apples to oranges, but it seems to me that we are giving an excuse to sin if we are going to cater our morality to fit the sinner.

Saint may be pushing it...but thanks In actuality though, I would venture to say that many families in this situation face the same racism as biracial couples. We have faced very little save a rather shocking statment made by a russian woman (Our son is Kazakh, and in Kazakhstan the relationship between Kazakhs and Russians makes the black/white issues of America seem like nothing) but I know of families that have faced problems with bigoted people. If the morality of the situation is going to be determined by whether it is confusing or not to someone then it seems to me that it will change with everyone we meet. Surely there is a better standard.

 

Not Done !!

OK. I have to be honest. What did you think was going to happen when you announced to the BB that you would not perform a bi-racial wedding. Did you think that everyone would agree with that. I did not call you racist or a bigot, but did you not think that some may think that. You made the choice that you would reveal this and now you have to deal with it. You personally pointed me out as trying to put you on the witness stand,but I have not been the only one who has done this. I at least had the respect enough to not resort to name calling.

All I did was ask for scripture that you used to come to this conclusion,do Pastors teach the flock to come to all convictions from scripture. Not officiating a bi-racial wedding has to stem from conviction beacuse that is where opinion and preference come from. No one is asking you to change your conviction just to give it a foundation. If one of your church members came to you asked you to do this could you ?

I do not think you will answer my question. I think I gave you questions before that may have made you think and that is why you are so evasive. You mentioned before that anyone that would question a man of God's convictions is weak in the faith and that you need to pray for them. I pray that you may see that if you did lead a bi-racial couple to Christ but would not marry them that even though you are not commanded to that, the implications and hurt that it may cause them could alter the view they have of the church indefinately.

I do not know if this is common knowledge at your church and I assume you have many races of people in your church. Have you ever asked one of them if this hurts them. They still love you as their pastor but they take offense or are confused about this. I do want to assume the state of your church it may be already setteled but just another question.

This will most likely upset you. It really does not matter to me. Answer or do not. But I hope that you will read all the threads and at least be open to what some have said.

 

No, not really. The reason for my last post was not to receive anyone's blessing or sympathy. I answered questions and stated my position and left it at that. Others let it bother them so much they resorted to intolerance and name calling. You continue to let it eat at you so much that you start a thread and write such fodder as your last post. So no, I'm not upset. It's quite obvious if anybody's upset, it's you and others that fail to realize not everybody in life is like you/they are. Also, it appears to upset you that I could care less what you or anybody else thinks of my opinion. Oops! Sorry. WARNING! My previous statements may further upset you.

 

QUOTE by Cutter "Genesis 11:6 And the LORD said, Behold, the people [is] one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be
restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
:7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
:8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
:9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the

face of all the earth."

Cutter here are the scriptures you provided, they are compelling to say the least. These verses came to my head right when I saw this poll, though I didn't have them memorized exactly. I assume not marrying a bi-racial couple is one of your convictions. I see no problem with it , nor a need for you to defend yourself since you provided scripture as your foundation early on.

There are different degrees of racism, there is no right and wrong here. I am with webdog and have some concerns for the children. Some people STATE AS FACT that children can handle it, that's a very interesting statement. A bit ignorant. That is not a fact you can determine.

It depends upon the child, The LEVEL of racism, and the child's temprament.


As foster parents, we had an asian child at one point and an 8 year old colored child. Though both are mixed races, talk about night and day!
We are still in touch with, and are good friends with both the colored child and his mother. But what we went thru in ONLY FOSTERING this kid was unbelievable.
I knew the racism he was enduring was bad, people were so rude to us. I witnessed to him, and was there for him. I am the type of person who can easily let it blow off. The child was not, as had endured this racism his whole life. Especially by his family, but not as bad as it occured in our town where he was the only black child. The only colored person here. He came from a more accepting town, though still encountered racism frequently.

If you would have asked me about racism after having the asian child, I would have thought it wasn't that bad. A maybe child can grow from it. I still believe that. I might have been ignorant enough to come onto a message board and point fingers at others who don't hold my views.
But growing up with a tirant of a racist father, and seeing how hurt that colored boy was while staying with us, I would hesitate upon bringing a colored child into this town. Into our family. He told us if he goes up for adoption, he would like us to be his parents but only if we moved into a different town. He went back with mother, she did well in her program. This town has improved, we have a black pastor at one of the churches. We are still in contact with the family, this situation had a very happy ending.


Now that I am much older, I realize it was pretty bad...! When you are in your twenties, you don't think too hard. But there wasn't anything more I could have done anyway. I thought I would add my thoughts to this poll section. To debate this, I am not sure I have the desire to.


Joe

 

Great Cutter. I appreciate that. I started another thread based on a sincere desire to have a dissussion about it and it has been a healthy one if you read the thread. Please join in even.

 

You bring up an interesting point here, John. One that I have witnessed, both often and firsthand, especially in divorce.

Children seek to please their parents, because they love them. They think if they try to be really, really good, maybe Mommy and Daddy will get back together again. The parents ignorantly accept this as adjustment and acceptance on the part of the child.
They tell others how well the child[ren] are handling it when, in fact, the children are confiding in other loved ones their anguish and heartache. It is so sad, especially for the children and so disgusting to see selfish adults be so ignorant.