boarding schools for Christians?

Balance this statement against the great commission that says Go?

If you don't feel missionaries are called or sent by God then you are absolutly correct in your statements.

 

Some missionaries are certainly called by God, but most are not. This is obvious since narrow is the gate... not to mention many will be deceived.

The Great Commission doesn't blindly say "go travel to another country and have someone else raise your kids"

I must be misunderstanding you.

 

In the church, God assigns different roles to men and women. In life, God assigns different roles to men than women. They are usually similar.
I am not convinced a female Missionary is necessarily a good thing because of the limitations the Lord has placed on females regarding their teaching over men. I am not saying it is wrong, I just am not fully convinced the Great Commission is directed at women. I believe they are to be Missionaries within their own backyards, but otherwise, I don't know.

1 Tim 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. I don't recall this verse as being limited to financial resources.

Women ought to be raising their children, as two parents actively raising their children is God's plan. I provided scripture already which instructs how men are to parent their children, and raise them. This can't be accomplished if they are absent, right?

Imo, people who financially support these "so called missionaries" are assisting families to abandon their offspring. When we assist others to willfully sin against God, we become personally accountable.

This is not the Great Commission

 

Now that is the best post on this thread.

Certainly there is a place for boarding schools, for missionaries, for special needs kids, for other unique kids. I would hesitate to send my kids away early (elementary school ages) but high school level boarding schools have been around a long time. A good friend of mine went off to Camden Military Academy in the 8th grade. He loved it. Two of the boys in my scout troop went off to boarding school this fall. One is a Junior and went off to the NC school of Math and Science in Raleigh. A very prestigious school and hard to get into. The other is a Freshman and went to a military school near Chattanooga. I was really concerned about him and thought maybee his mom was just shipping him off so she could have more time to herself but after talking with the boy about it I learned that this was really something he wanted. It was his idea. He saw the limits of our local school system and wanted something more for himself.

Now I can't see myself shipping my kids off like either of these. In fact community college is starting to look pretty good for the first year or two after high school. But every kid is different and for many missionary kids this may be the best choice.

 

abcgrad94: If memory serves correctly they did some home school in the early years then mission school the rest of their grade/high school days.

The students have a lot of love and concern in the schools. I also know a young woman that spent a couple years as a dorm mom in Germany and she still keeps in touch with some of the students (teens) couple years later.

 

The safest place in the world is the center of God's will. I'd much rather have my children with me on the field and in the will of God than back here in America out of the will of God.

 

As mc said, life is not a cookie cutter experience.

Certainly it is easier to have one's children on the field overseas these days with computers and an abundance of homeschool materials.

I would not want to leave my teenagers. However, there are so many variables. We went overseas for a while in a non-mission situation. We left our 16-year-old son behind with relatives for several months so he could finish the school year. He did just fine. I was worse off.

Yet aren't we looking at it through a modern lens rather than what it has been like for most of history? Sounds like we are all worried about leaving children who in any other era would have already been on their own.
I know my husband's uncles in the 1920's and 1930's were EXPECTED to get a full-time job after 8th grade and be self-supporting.
My aunts were married in their early teens.

No, families were not all close. In rural MO where I am from, family members 10 miles away might rarely see each other because of non-existent roads and lack of transportation. Many Germans to MO came and then sent for the family back in Germany.

Many kinds of family separation issues are broader than boarding school and have gone on forever.

I am not saying the above was "right". I am saying we all see things through our own cultural lenses. Our cultural lens right now is that kids are kids through their early 20's.

Some kids are just going to rebel. Frank Schaeffer was with his parents at L'Abri, after all.

 

Though there are extreme circumstances where a child is better off being away from the parents, this is not how this situation is being presented. I hope we all remain within the context of this post.
So to the ones who didn't answer, is it God's will for parents to be abandoning their children for the purpose of going out onto the Mission field?

I am saddened by some of the responses here :tear: This ought to shock all of you!!


Anyone who interprets the word of God in that it can/ does tell Parents He wishes they abandon their children to go away to become a Missionary should have their head examined. Their "witness" is in question, as is their interpretation of the Bible.

To financially or emotionally support these mentally unstable individuals to remain in this lifestyle is nothing short of grevious sin, imo. This includes if your church is making a donation which includes your tithes or your monies to keep their sinful lifestyle afloat.

 

It is just not that simple Joe. No one is saying "abandon your children and go to the Mission Field." These children are not abandoned at all but are placed in age appropriate bording schools that are designed for them. In most cases these schools are fairly expensive and well run. While I would agree that they are not God's will in every case in some cases I believe they are.

If I were on the mission field I would want my children with me but if I was in an unsafe situation or could not give my children the education they needed I would make arrangements so that I could. If I were a diplomat stationed in Iraq or a soldier in Afganistan or a missionary in many places around the world I would not want my children with me. They would be at risk for their own safety and a distraction to my mission. They would probably be placed with relatives but if I did not have relatives that could give my children a safe, stable, Christian environment then these schools would definitly be an option worth considering. I am not talking about abandoning my kids or giving them to someone else to raise, but judiciously using schools as a tool to help me raise my children. It is really not much different then letting them attend a day school.

 

In my opinion, you are asking people to defend something they never said or meant.

From what I am guessing you mean, it is gross sin and mental instability to send a 17-year-old to boarding school to finish high school. But it is ok to send an 18-year-old high school graduate back to the states to college or university?
What is the transition point for you between gross sin and mental instability versus acceptable behaviour?

 

Thanks for the reply. I don't understand why it isn't that simple. As long as we stay within context of this discussion (the opening post) not to be sidetracked, there ought to be an easy answer? Other people have been able to address the opening post. But if still seems to complex, I understand. No need to explain. Here it is again, if you want to take a crack at it.
"So to the ones who didn't answer, is it God's will for parents to be abandoning their children for the purpose of going out onto the Mission field?"

Here is the definition of abandon from the online dictionary

Merriam Webster Online Dictionary

abandon

1 a: to give up to the control or influence of another person or agent b: to give up with the intent of never again claiming a right or interest in <abandon property>
2: to withdraw from often in the face of danger or encroachment <abandon ship>
3: to withdraw protection, support, or help from <he abandoned his family>
4: to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly
5 a: to cease from maintaining, practicing, or using <abandoned their native language> b: to cease intending or attempting to perform <abandoned the escape>
— aban·don·er noun
— aban·don·ment

There is absolutely no way a parent can protect, support and help their children when they aren't even present to do so. Not to mention, they aren't even close to being present. They are hundreds or millions of miles away!

True, no one said to abandon your children to go into the Mission field. The opening post only gave us an example. Again, in extreme cases unrelated to this topic, I can see how this decision to send children away to a boarding school might be in the best interests of the child.

I don't know how you could know this. Our child attended a so called Christian school affiliated with the first church we became members of. A CPS worker told us if we allowed our foster children to go there, they would not license us. That night, I learned more in talking with my son, and it wasn't good. He was pulled out the following day. I won't go into details, it's too upsetting to even type on a message board. Nothing happened to him, I am sure of that. That school made our public school resemble a Christian school. The church affiliated with the school was just as bad, as I saw signs but ignored them as the Pastor and I were very close friends. We never went back to attending a church until about a year or two ago, though we remained Christians.
It takes a long time to get to know people.

This is an impossible. You are taking credit for giving them what they need, except in this scinereo you presented, you are not even present to do so. You have sent them away, remember? They need their parents
I check our son's homework, and what he brings home from school each night. We talk with him, interact with him, my wife kisses him frequently. No one can do this better than us

Might be a good thread to start

According to the definition of abandon, you are talking about abandoning your children. I assume this is in the context of the discussion, sending the children away so you can be a Missionary. If not, I stand corrected.

So... The school will raise them for you?
Not!
They will raise themselves.

Even relatives, as you mentioned you have available, cannot provide what the parents can.

This is why God gives us, as parents, instructions upon how to raise our children.

 

Maybe it would be wise to re-read the opening post and my posts so we can stay in context? Your question is very broad, and seems to have came out of left-field. Besides, I thought I asked you a question?

 

Joe, you seem concerned that we may have strayed from the original post, so I will address that first.

Would I support missionaries who teach in Christian boarding schools? Yes, just like I would support missionaries who teach in any other type of school.

Would I support missionaries who send their children (elementary or older) to a boarding school while they minister on the mission field? Yes, just like I would support missionaries who homeschool or use other local educational options.

Now as far as your definition of abandoned:

(1)We are talking about sending kids to boarding school, not giving up control or influence of them. The MK’s I know who went to boarding school all spent considerable time with their parents on the field, but there were times when it was impractical or dangerous to do so, so they went to school. Their parents never gave up control or influence in their lives. (2)Is quite the opposite, it is not leaving the children in danger, but safeguarding them from a dangerous situation. (3)These children are protected and supported, better than they could be on the field or they would not be in schools. (4)No one is given over completely or finaly, and (5)The maintenance, care, and parental relationship is not ended.

Yes they can. In fact that is exactly what they are doing, taking them from a place of physical danger and securing, protecting and supporting them.

I am sorry your Christian school experience was bad Joe but I assure you that it is not always the case. I will admit that my experience is rather narrow. All of the MKs that I know that went to boarding school went to Bob Jones Academy except for one that lived with my family when I was a teenager and went to school with me. They have excellent educational resources and a great system of support for those kids. While they may share a dorm room with college age kids they are not just thrown in there without support or guidance and they have a system of staff and faculty families that help as well.

Sending your kids off to boarding school would be a difficult heart wrenching choice that I would not want to make. It is not God’s will in every case. But I believe in some cases it is God’s will. Thank God that He has provided safe, Christian schools that can meet this need.

 

Good morning

About the comparison, the first example is the shrieking of parental responsibilities to follow a feeling, the other is not. One is within God's will, the other is not.

It's hard to imagine we are reading the same definition The definition of abandoned fits the bill perfectly.

I am not saying the den mom's or dad's don't have any positive influence over the children. But these are employees, performing their job duties. They are not fill in parents.

Why would a responsible parent deliberately place themselves in danger? What about their parental obligations to their children, such as remaining alive until they reach adulthood?

Safeguarding them from what dangerous situation? A scinereo they conjured up in their minds? Why in the world would a parent with any level of sanity pat themselves on the back for not deliberately exposing their children to danger half way across the world? By law, they could get their children taken away for exposing their children to danger. A couple in our area got their children taken away for bringing them to an out of state function, a Burning Man festival. We are to follow the child abuse laws, and the law in general unless it conflicts with Gods law (the Bible). I would rather take my child to a burning man festival (possibly the largest drug infested, nudist orge on earth) than out into a dangerous mission field where they could get killed. Though, I certainly wouldn't take them to either.

And better supported than if they were thrown into the front of a moving bus but that is a red herron.

Of course it has ended, and it ended for a significant period of time. I am not saying it can't be re-started, but yes, it has ended. Technology offers us ways to communicate which encourage this re-start.

What place of physical danger? The mission field? Normal parents who realize the significant responsibility to love and care for their children do not deliberately place themselves or their kin in physical danger.

So is mine, very narrow :laugh: bummer....

Unless you feel it is in the best interests of your child that you forfit his training, and grant it to anther, then I am not going to agree. Sometimes children are having real problems in which this might be a viable option after all other avenues have been exhausted.

I also would like to address this "calling" thing.
Any feeling we have, no matter how strong, is just a feeling when it is not based in scripture. In the last days, Satan will appear to be uniting the world, helping people, when it turn, his goal is to destroy our souls. People ought not resemble Satan and become Missionaries under the guise of helping people when the Lord has a much higher calling. This is to be Parents to our children. See his instructions in the Bible, they are specific. They imply a daily routine. A calling doesn't rely solely upon a feeling but the word of God.

Satan is very crafty

 

Hey Joe, glad to hear from you. I hope all is well in CA. You asked about danger.

Yes, that is exactly what I am talking about, deliberatley placing yourself in a place of physical danger. Something that would make no sense at all if you were not following the call of God.

I am talking about missionaries I have personally known who smuggled bibles into the former Soviet Union and Red China, organized illegal bible studies in both of these nations while on business visas, organized bible studies in Cuba, and those who minister to stone age tribes in New Guinea, South America, and other places. I am talking about missionaries I have known who organized illegal churches in Saudi Arabia. Have you seen the "Point of the Spear" movie or read Beyond the Gates of Splendor? There are places on the mission field that are full of danger.

Let me ask you this Joe, what if God called you to one of these dangerous areas and you refused His call because of your children? If they keep us from following God's will even our own children can become idols. Would God ever call someone that way? You bet He would, and he has. Remember Abraham? He had to sacrifice his son. What if God asked you to sacrifice yours? Remember Matt 19:29?

Why do you think Jesus specifically mentions children here? Sometimes we have to give up those things we treasure most just to show that we love Christ more. Of course God's promise is that in the long run we will receive much more than we give up but I think we have to be very careful of the things we put ahead of God's will, even if it is our own children. Remember, they are not really ours either.

 

Hey Tentmaker

Buckle up lol

No. I'll go check Netflix right after I hit submit. Thanks

God has told me in the Bible he wouldn’t do this. See verses below. He would not condradict himself, and has made his will known by providing us Parents specific instructions upon how to train up, care for and protect our children. It is our job, and his will.

I certainly wouldn’t worry about idolizing them. God wants us to love and protect our children.

No, he wouldn’t.

There are no commands for us to do this. To interpret this scripture as a command to us, in this lifetime, is a misapplication. It’s insanity to believe we could be called to kill our own, or forsake them. Once that happens, it’s time to see a Shrink asap before someone is hurt. None of us ought to be even considering this teaching, it is from Satan. If our minds blow, we can really hurt our children in the name of the Lord and it won't be his will

Because at that time, Jesus was not a concept as he is today. He was living proof of God, walking in the flesh on earth performing great miracles. Who could deny that?

This means if they (including children) were not following him, they would be forsaken, or left behind. Jesus had a Mission, and likely needed these men to complete it so we all, including the children, would not suffer eternal damnation. There are likely multiple reasons why, but that is the main one.

As you know, Jesus died for our sins, carried our burdens and we can accept this gift or not accept it. There is no more sacrifices, forsaking of children, killing babies or children etc…In fact, we are commanded to do the opposite. We are to protect, care and train up our child each day to follow him. Some people are more divided, so they have less time as God gave them jobs to do. Those who have families are to take care of their wives and children, following his explicit instruction in the bible. Here are the verses again, though there are more. Sorry for the redundancy

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.


Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

When we start telling ourselves we love Christ more, this can be dangerous.
Our children are to be a part of Gods will along with us. :1_grouphug: and our friends, incl. BB friends

 

Please don’t think I am advocating human sacrifice any more than I am advocating the abandonment of children. All I am saying is that we have to put God’s will before our own and sometimes that will might include periods of separation from those we love. Don’t forget the second half of that verse (Matt 19:29). I honestly believe that if you put God first you won’t loose your children any more than Abraham did. But first we have to lay them down.

When I put limits on what I will do for God, any limits, then I create an unsafe situation. For many years I put limits on what I would do using my marriage and family as justification. I was not going to neglect them, after all God gave them to me and gave me the responsibility right? When I put them first and said I was going to take care of them before ministry responsibilities then my marriage and family were falling apart. When I put God’s will first and let Him take care of my marriage and family guess what happened? We came back together. We are still not where we should be but we are moving that direction.

Following God’s will for your life will not hurt your children, but it might well go against what you think is best for them. We just have to let God be in charge.

 

Ok, I'll go think on that :thumbs: Take Care