boarding schools for Christians?

I don't think that boarding schools are horrible places and terrible experiences but to me, who did God give these children to? Does God ever call ANY couple to leave their children in the care of someone else so that they can go do "missions"? Is there a Biblical precidence for this? I don't think so.

 

Not one of these examples is an example of a pair of parents leaving their children to do God's "work". In just about all of them, God was calling the CHILD (except with Abraham and Isaac - but I don't think that situation fits in this idea at all either) and not the parents. Sending a child to boarding school while the parents work for the Lord is not the same thing at all.

OH - I agree but we're in a different culture now. Children are not grown until atleast 18 and even then, many of them are not mature enough to be on their own. I think that God has a LOT to say about raising our children - what happens to one who causes one to stumble - the affects of a rebellious child, etc.

As I said, those examples of young people leaving their families and working for the Lord are not precedences for leaving our children to go to the mission field. They're apples and oranges.

If I'm called to go to the mission field, God will call my family. He has called my husband to be a pastor and in doing that, He has called our family to be a pastor's family. I will not turn my children away to minister to others - THEY are my primary responsibility. Scripture is clear about what a woman's role is - to love her husband and respect him, to raise Godly children and love them and to teach other women. One does not discount the other.

For dangerous areas where a family would be a detriment, there are single men and women who are more than qualified to do the job. If God is truly calling a man who's married and has a family to a dangerous area, he's not just calling the man or the man and wife - but the whole family. I know missionaries in the Congo who have had to flee with their lives as they were being shot at - yet they stay together with their family. Now they've opened a Christian hospital and the entire family is together (mom is homeschooling the kids) and are being blessed and being a blessing. I just cannot see Biblical justification for leaving our blessing/heritage from the Lord.

 

I'll check out the other thread but I'll answer this directly here.

My hubby and I were married 17 years before he was called to the ministry. Funny thing was that I ALWAYS knew he'd be a pastor but never knew how that would happen. When he came to me asking what I thought about him going on staff at our church as a pastoral intern while he studied for the ministry, I just said "Ahhh - So THAT'S how it's going to happen." He was dumbfounded. LOL!!

What does help in our situation is that he's the 8th of 9 pastors at our church (another man came on staff 6 months after he did). I'm not expected to do anything but what God has called me to do - in addition to supporting my husband. The Bible only has a few things to say about a man's wife who's in ministry and that's found in 1 Timothy 3:11 (speaking of a deacon's wife - which I think should be true for ALL ministry leader's wives) "Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things." Above that, she's to follow the commands for ALL wives - to respect, obey, submit to and honor her husband. She's to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children and to care for their homes. They're to be a helper to their husband. I don't see "piano player", "Sunday School teacher", "counselor" or any of the other "typical" things that pastor's wives "should" do. (Man, these quotes are getting a work-out in this post! LOL).

In our church, the senior pastor's wife used to assist him in teaching the women's Bible study but since then, another pastor and his wife took it over. She is a gifted teacher as is her husband but so are the other couple - and they enjoy doing the Bible study more. The senior pastor's wife still will help in the nursery when needed, arrange hospitality for many things, and she does a lot of the women's counseling. But she doesn't sing, teach Sunday school or play the piano (I don't think she knows how). All of the pastor's wives DO work at the church - but most of them have begun working in the ministries they either were doing before their husbands came on staff (we tend to hire pastors from within rather than going outside the church unless it's necessary). My responsibilities are to run the homeschool group (have done that for a few years), do the computer work for the projector in the sanctuary and do the website, run the new mom's group (a ministry near to my heart) and to help with the college or youth ministry when needed. I've taught some of the younger women but please don't ask me to teach the larger classes of women - I get scared! LOL!!

So, I agree with you. Pastor's wives should not be expected to do additional jobs just because they're the pastor's wife. They are called to a job because of their husbands - to be a pastor's wife. However, that job is not given by God to include all those other things. If she is not gifted in that area, then she's going to be doing a job that will not only suffer but so will she AND the person who's there who is more qualified will not be allowed to use THEIR God-given gifts in ministry. I don't think the women's ministry should necessarily be run by the pastor's wife unless she's able to do that in God's strength and giftings. Just as the Bible says that some are given to be prophets, teachers, etc., it's the same with ALL in the body of Christ. Not every pastor's wife will be able to be a teacher or a counselor or a piano player. It's just not what God has called us to do.

Does all that make sense?

 

I feel that God called me to be a wife to my husband. He did not specifically call ME to be a pastor's wife but He called me to be my husband's wife and He called my husband to be a pastor. So in that calling, I will become a pastor's wife and that is God's will for me. When DH was called, he came to me to speak to me as to how I would feel about him being a pastor. If I had seen anything in his life that I felt would be a detriment to him being a pastor, then I would have told him but as it was, I had always known he'd be a pastor and I was totally ready and prepared for that. My husband has had a few career changes and in each one, he came to me to seek my council and advice on what he should do. When he decided to quit his job 20 years ago to start a new business, I knew I was now going to be an entrepreneur's wife and I'd have responsibilities in that role. I wasn't called to be an entrepreneur's wife but my husband was called to start that business so I became one because I'm married to him.

So it's not like I'm just necessarily along for the ride but I will follow my DH in his calling. God has called ME to certain ministries and I'm working on those but they do not interfere with my being a pastor's wife (as a matter of fact, they compliment it).

I feel that if God is calling a husband to a certain calling, He will also prepare the wife if she's open to the Spirit. Before this calling to become a pastor, we had some financial issues and I did NOT want to possibly sell my house and move. It was MY house and I put a lot of time and money in it and I was not about to give that up. Once I finally decided that none of this is mine and it's only by God's grace that I have it in the first place, I was at the place where my husband could come to me and tell me about becoming a pastor. I was able to give up 1/2 our income because I was no longer tied to the material things that I had. I'd be fine if we needed to downscale to a dump on the other side of town as long as we were in God's will. As it is, so far, we've been able to keep our home and even some of our fun things (including a large sailboat) but if we needed to sell, I could without hesitating.

I DO think that God calls each of us individually but since a husband and wife are one flesh, He will not call one to something without the other. To me, I consider a husband and wife a team and it's strange to think of them NOT doing something together. If the wife feels strongly against the ministry, then they both should seek God for what He's really calling them to. Maybe the husband is misreading God's call - or the wife is misreading or being selfish and not listening. I don't know but I honestly don't think that God would call one of the couple to something that would be a detriment to their marriage because the other is not called to come alongside the other to assist them. Honestly, I've never seen a true minister/ministry leader be successful unless their spouse is supportive and work along side them (not necessarily doing things like "pastor's wife-ly things" but lovingly supporting and bieng in ministry herself).