http://www.newhousenews.com/archive/lileks080305.html Live From New York: It's Ambassador John Bolton BY JAMES LILEKS Now that John Bolton has been installed as United Nations ambassador -- by the time-honored recess appointment or the power-crazed overreach of King Emperor Bush Fuhrer, depending on your point of view -- one can only wonder how he'll do. Here's a hypothetical workday. (Note that he's made it out of Washington without some senators throwing themselves on the train tracks to keep him from leaving. Or, rather, having aides throw themselves on the tracks. Make that interns. Aides might say things under anesthesia.) Anyway. The limo pulls up to the glistening U.N. building at 7:59 a.m. There are, of course, protesters. They chant: "Hey hey! Ho ho! Bolton John has got to go! Hey hey! Ho ho!" But Bolton strides right through the crowd and enters the building, leaving the protesters stunned: It didn't work! The chant didn't work! Frantic calls are placed to ANSWER, CORE, ACORN, NARAL and the National Guild of Pronounceable Acronyms (NGPA); the leadership is informed that the magic chant has failed. Lucifer has entered the temple! Repeat, Lucifer is in the temple! Call George Soros and have him fund a new one STAT! No, that doesn't stand for anything. 8:03 -- Security makes Bolton go through the metal detector six times, convinced he's hiding brass knuckles somewhere. He leaves, grasping the detachable metal handle of his briefcase, smiling privately. 8:15 -- Bolton, who once remarked that you could remove the top 10 floors of the U.N. without diminishing its effectiveness, notes with rue how long the elevator takes to get to his office. He arrives. Superglue in the keyhole again, just like at State. SNIP 4:07 -- At the cafeteria, Bolton gets a doughnut and a cup of coffee; the cashier informs him she'll put it on the U.S. tab. Bolton insists on paying himself; she shrugs and asks for $428.26.