Business Meeting Humor

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Dr. Bob, Feb 4, 2004.

  1. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
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    YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD CHURCH BUSINESS MEETING WHEN...

    1. The church loudmouth rises to his feet and announces dramatically, "I can no longer remain silent..."

    2. Mike Wallace and the 60 Minutes crew are there to film it.

    3. Your picture ends up on a milk carton.

    4. People arrive at the meeting, clutching copies of books about "spiritual abuse."

    5. The church constitution suddenly becomes revered as the most important legal document since the Magna Carta.

    6. The little, blue-haired lady who's in charge of the nursery pounds the lectern with her shoe and screams, "We will bury you!"

    7. The next day your spouse books a one-way flight out of state and doesn't invite you to come along.

    8. Your neighbors hear about the meeting on their police scanner.

    9. A loyal supporter presses a can of Mace into your hands.

    10. Another loyal supporter presses Jack Kevorkian's business card into your hands.

    11. Judge Ito asks you to try on a pair of bloody gloves.

    12. People begin referring to you as "our former pastor."
     
  2. David Mark

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    Oh no, Dr. Bob is this what's got you down?

    Do you want my phone number? I promise I will encourage you and not make you feel bad. You've got so many good qualities.

    Just being silly...

    Dave. :D :D [​IMG]
     
  3. SaggyWoman

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    I cackled on four. :mad:
     
  4. Su Wei

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    simply awful!!! :eek:

    (Er.... what's "Mace", though?)
     
  5. j_barner2000

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    Mace is a brand of pepper spray... commonly used for self defense.
     
  6. Dr. Bob

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    Mace is named after a big club used in Celtic warfare and carried (symbolically we trust) by the Queen E II in royal ceremony. [​IMG]
     
  7. Ann

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    Sadly enough, this almost exactly describes our last church meeting a week ago. :(
     
  8. GODzThunder

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    Sadly enough, I have had #12 happen to me. One of our deacons, the chairman of the board, referred to me as the "former pastor" when he approached members of the Church with a petition for my resignation. (Luckily I only got three votes against me, his, his wife, and a member who later told me she heard things were bad and she did not want to see me suffer by having to remain to endure this).

    Just a note, when nobody in the Church wanted to sign that note, he resigned all positions held. Supprisingly no one else left with him. ::praise::

    though I do miss him still.
     
  9. SaggyWoman

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    I have a mace--well, I have four maces, that I got while I was in Ukraine. I am glad to hear they are for the queens. I heard that they are also called Husband Beaters. Hmmmm. The Ukrainian word is Boolava. They are said to be symbols of power. :D
     
  10. Salty

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    1. When Deacon Joe brings ten members who have not attended for the past year.

    2. When Deacon Joe drops off some information about U-haul on the Pastors desk

    3. When Deacon Joe asks the church clerk to put pastorsearch.net on the church computer favorite list.

    4. When Deacon Joe has recommended the Assistiant pastor to a church out of state

    5.
     
  11. Singing Cop

    Singing Cop
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    MACE is also a brand of chemical self defense sprays.
     
  12. SaggyWoman

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    I hate church business meetings.
     
  13. MaryKay

    MaryKay
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    I also dislike church business meetings.
     

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