Choosing the right spouse

I think you need to ask yourself is she a good steward of her money, not just is she debt free. Does she tithe? Does she use her money in any way to please God? Or does every penny she makes get spent on stuff to please herself?

 

I think you are looking for the wrong kind of woman. You really need to be looking for a godly woman, not one that just has her finances in line with your ideals.. One that will submit you her husband as unto the Lord as scripture teaches. One that has built her heart and life on the Lord and all He calls for. That means she is biblically able to marry. Then you will not have to worry about all the rest.
One thing both of you should be ready to go through some serious counseling prior to marriage and that should be anyone seeking marriage not just you.

 

Find the man whom you respect the most spiritually, who has the most biblical wisdom and integrity of character, and a legacy as a faithful husband for many years...and ask him for advice.

That will be better than any advice you find on this forum.

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I don't know if children are in this picture or not, but if they are you might want to know about, To spank or not to spank. Not that this is the rule I have whether I would marry or not, but if one of you happen to be one that believes in spanking and the other does not, then that can lead to problems. Some folk, even Christians, consider spanking child abuse whereas others see it as necessary in child raising. It's best to ask these type of questions as well as money questions.

 

I am amazed that no one yet has blasted the OP for meeting someone online. People seem to be realizing that this is acceptable.

With that being said, and without knowing how deep your relationship is already, my advice is to not get too involved until you meet her in person. All the obvious about how Godly she is aside (since you seem to already want that), you need to make sure that she doesn't (and you don't) have any personality conflicts or quirks that would make you two incompatible. Also, it's far too easy to "put your best foot forward" when you are talking to somone online or on the phone.

 

Sorry about the confusion; I was condoning the fact that it is accptable now to meet people online. Some of my friends have done this, and they have been together for 7 or 8 years now.

However, on the flip side, I was warning of the dangers of it (obvious ones aside, like sexual predators, etc). People who get along great online might not get along so great in person (and as i have witnessed before on this forum, the opposite can be true, too). People inherently tend to be different online than they are in person.

I am in no way trying to say that this is the case in your particular situation. I hope things work out for you and wish you well. I just wanted to point out the things to watch for.

 

MOST omportant thing is IF she is like minded regarding the Christian faith!

Do you both agree on the core Christian issues?

Do you both hold to the essentials of the faith?

Are you both growing in your walk with Christ?

Both attending same type of Church?

get the spiritual issues agreed upon, and rest shall follow!

Debt is important issue, but NOT tot he levels of the spiritual ones!

 

Re dating websites- I used to be skeptical of them (no idea why, guess I'm a traditionalist) until a younger relative of mine met a girl online who was perfect for him. No longer. They'll be celebrating their ten year anniversary next month.

Evangelist- I wish you well if this is what Our Lord's will is for you.

 

I think part of the problem is there are still people who are afraid of the new technology and internet dating. I think this is going to become the norm in the future, if we are not already there.
Originally, I was skeptical of online dating, but a close friend of mine started to talk a man online from PEI in Canada from here in Texas. They are now married and couldn't be happier. Both are very devoted to each other and both believe God put them together as mates.
Look the internet has just made the possible pool of acceptable mates much larger.