CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS Part 5

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Palatka51, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Palatka51

    Palatka51
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    ~ This one I said myself during the congregational prayer when leading prayer for our unsaved loved ones: Father, we just want to pray for our unloved saved ones.

    ~ Please welcome Pastor Don, a caring individual who loves hurting people.

    ~ Come out this evening for a time of prayer and sinning.

    ~ A woman's blouse was found at a table in the middle of the servant appreciation dinner. If you lost your blouse, please come to the church office.

    ~ Overeaters Anonymous meeting will be held at 8 pm in the large room.

    ~ The ladies in the style show will meet with their dresses down in front after morning worship.

    ~ A worm welcome to all who have come today.

    ~ Sermon Outline:
    I. Delineate your fear
    II. Disown your fear
    III. Displace your rear

    ~ Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

    ~ If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.

    ~ Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.

    ~ Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.

    ~ Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well with my Solo"

    ~ Congratulations to Tim and Rhonda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.

    ~ If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.

    ~ We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.

    ~ Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford"

    ~ Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.

    ~ Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.

    ~ Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.

    ~ The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral.

    ~ The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church board.

    today'sTHOT============================

    First things first! But not necessarily in that order.

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