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Clean clean humor

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by Gina B, Dec 28, 2010.

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  1. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    Posted with permission of my husband, like a good subservient wife. (he told me to say that, really!)

    He didn't say to tell you I'm the author and that this basic conversation just happened a couple minutes ago, but he just walked out so I'm assuming I have his permission for this too...

    Why women REALLY are known for cleaning:

    It has NOTHING to do with societal roles, expectations, or any of that mumbo jumbo. It's because men drive us INSANE if we leave them on their own (leave them on their own to clean is an oxymoron anyhow, because they will stick to you like ...glue every second of it!) to "help."

    The following is NOT a representation of a conversation with my husband. It's the actual conversation, word for word.

    Woman: Will you please help clean?
    Man: Okay, where's the cleaner?
    Woman: In the cleaning cupboard.
    Man: Which one? The one we always use or the one that doesn't exist?
    Woman: The one we always use.
    Man: But the normal cleaner is gone. What should I use?
    Woman: A bit of soap, then rinse it.
    Man: Which soap?
    Woman: A bit of hand soap.
    Man: What do I rinse it with?
    Woman: Water.
    Man: Should I use a towel to dry it or a washcloth?
    Woman: A washcloth.
    Man: Where are the washcloths?
    Woman: In the cleaning cupboard.
    Man: Which one? The one we always use or the one that doesn't exist?
    Woman: The one we always use.
    Man: Which washcloths? The old ratty ones for cleaning, the fluffy ones for showers, or the new holiday ones for holidays?
    Woman: The old ones.
    Man: I CAN'T FIND THEM!
    Woman: They're right in front of you.
    Man: Well that explains it. Why aren't they in back?
    Woman: So you could find them.
    Man: What was I doing?
    Woman: Nevermind.
     
    #1 Gina B, Dec 28, 2010
  2. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    My husband will be glad to know that we aren't the only ones that have "cabinets that don't exist"! :laugh:
     
    #2 menageriekeeper, Dec 28, 2010
  3. Carolina Baptist

    Carolina Baptist Active Member

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    SUCCESS \o/ :sleep: :D
     
    #3 Carolina Baptist, Dec 28, 2010
  4. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    When you get an eggshell in your omelet or a gas tank with a quarter mile to go before hitting empty, you know that she's onto you. LOL

    Though to be fair, my whole family was struck with a mental plague yesterday. One after the other they came to me, both the young and the old, suddenly blind, deaf, and unable to use logic or process typical information.

    All caused by the using the words "you", "deep clean," and "cleaning day" all in the same sentence.
     
    #4 Gina B, Dec 29, 2010
  5. faithgirl46

    faithgirl46 Active Member
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    What did Snoopy & Charlie Brown have for lunch?
    A peanut butter sandwich
     
    #5 faithgirl46, Dec 30, 2010
  6. Gina B

    Gina B Active Member

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    :laugh: It took me a minute to get that one, faithgirl!
     
    #6 Gina B, Dec 30, 2010
  7. JesusInsideMe

    JesusInsideMe New Member

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    This here is a really dirty joke! Read it at your own risk! You have been warned!














    George Washington's white horse fell in a mud puddle.
     
    #7 JesusInsideMe, Jan 19, 2011
  8. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    was that all to the conversation
     
    #8 Salty, Jun 23, 2013
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