Control Freak Church Member

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by blackbird, Aug 11, 2004.

  1. blackbird

    blackbird
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    We've read on that other thread---of Pastor's who are Control Freaks!

    But what about the church members who are "Like/ Same?? What about that/those members who won't let the Preacher do "Didalee!!???"

    Preachers! Feel free to air your dirty laundry here on Blackbird's thread!!
     
  2. TaterTot

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    Whoo, Blackbird! This one may turn out to be a doozie.
    Our current church is really great in that department. We've been here going on 5 years and there is no power struggle regarding the pastor (my sweet husband). Our previous church was terrible in that respect. Everyone wanted to do as he saw fit. Business meetings were awful - someone was constantly being called out of order.

    When we first went there, we were told (By the wife of the chairman of the deacons) that we were NOT to visit those "trailer" people. First place we went was the trailer park across the street from the church. [​IMG] We were well received there and several people came to know Christ. When we started setting out doughnits before Sunday School to help these newcomers feel a little more at ease, this same woman didn't want "those" children eating "our" doughnuts. You just can't work with people like her. That was just the first couple of weeks. It was a long year and a half that we were there! [​IMG]
     
  3. All about Grace

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    What do business meetings, Robert's Rules of Order, and by-laws have in common?

    None of them are found in the Bible.


    The church is in the only entity in Western civilization that attempts to function in the manner it does. The result? Frustrated pastors, stagnate congregations, immature leaders, and dying churches.

    Aren't you glad your doctor does not need the approval of a large group of patients before making his decisions on how to treat you?

    So is life in church world.
     
  4. TaterTot

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    hmm. What a concept!

    In our current church, business meetings are very short and sweet. The people in charge of the church's ministries make the decisions for those ministries. Ex: The bus needs a new air conditioner - we dont go to the church, form a committee to get estimates, etc, the guy who runs the bus just does it. I dont think everyone's voice needs to be heard for every little decision.
     
  5. Debby in Philly

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    But they are found in such things a tax code. As a tax-exempt organization, you have to have your group's own rules, and abide by them. Otherwise it looks fishy to powers that be.
     
  6. SaggyWoman

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    A lot of control freaks serve on committees.
     
  7. Johnv

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    Neither are electronic sound systems, polymer fabrics, and halogen lighting, but they're all heavily used in the church today.

    Having firm bylaws, and adhering to rules of order (Robert's being probably the best example) in business meetings are a good tool for management of the church.
     
  8. All about Grace

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    I never suggested they should not be used. I am simply making the point that these things are secondary to proper church leadership and following the Spirit.

    For those who practice "business meeting" type administration, such rules are a must.
     
  9. HappyG

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    Churches tend to be places that attract people who want to be "big fish" in "little ponds."

    And unfortunately too many churches are set up structurally and organizationally to allow those people to "get control" and frustrate the overall purposes of the church.

    There isn't a corporation in America that would be foolish enough to run their company in the way that many churches run their ministries.

    And if you think that the way many churches "do church" is the "right way and only way." Then I go to SBC's question: "What do business meetings, Robert's Rules of Order, and by-laws have in common?" They aren't in the Bible!

    No doubt you need good structure...but we need to think and use good common sense.
     
  10. Karen

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    But on the other hand, there are lots of churches (non-Baptist)in my town that don't do it the way you disagree with. They are elder-run and yet, ironically, they can have the problems you are concerned about many times over.
    A ruling elder ensconced behind the scenes can REALLY run things in a way that a committee set up for a year to do a specific task doesn't.

    Karen
     
  11. Bro Tony

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    Any system can be abused. Whatever the church structure it is only as good and has as much integrity as the people involved.

    Bro Tony
     
  12. Hawnter

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    Good point Bro Tony!
     
  13. GODzThunder

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    You know the one thing I cannot understand is how a Church will ordain a control freak, or the husband of a control freak as a deacon. In almost every Church the control freaks are in leadership positions.

    Weird :/
     
  14. dianetavegia

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    I think some Control Freaks at first look like hard working, dedicated new members. I can think of a few in our church that came in, started volunteering to do SO much and quickly became very vociferous at every church meeting. One pretty much said, My way or the Highway. Adios! :eek:

    Diane
     
  15. HappyG

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    People are people. Ministry would be great if we didn't have to deal with people! [​IMG] So there will always be examples of abuses.

    With that said, churches should use common sense. And much of the structure and habits of many churches is not based on common sense. I am assuming that the church has the stated purpose of reaching a community with the message of Jesus Christ and bringing Glory to God.

    We need to "pray like it depends on God and work like it depends on us." So if by studying the best structure both from a Biblical perspective and a practical perspective we eliminate practices that produce tension and strife, then that is being smart and earthly and spiritually wise. Far too many churches are wrapped in tradition and pay the price when it comes to accomplishing the mission for the churches existence.
     
  16. GODzThunder

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    When I first came to my Church, we had a deacon so controling that he would throw a fit anytime someone brought a drink, even water, into the Church. On wed nights the youth play basketball outside before service. One of them brought a drink inside that he was drinking, a coke, that he kept sealed tightly with other posessions he had. He did not open it or even pull it out of his bag but when this deacon saw the drink he tore into the lad to the point that even to this day, most of the youth have not returned that were in his "crowd."
     
  17. Deacon

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    I've been called the "parking nazi" and the "pew nazi" somewhat jokingly in the past for my firm insistance that members follow the rules.

    Where I serve, the deacons are responsible for the safety of the congregation relating to the physical plant of the church. We will try to protect them in spite of theirselves.

    "No food or drink in the sanctuary" is a rule at our church too. We have many stains on the pews and rugs from people who disobey. The cost of new rugs and upholstery is exorbitant. Slips and falls from spilled coffee, food or drink is possible.

    There are gentle ways of enforcing the rules but to some, obedience to any rule is onerous and those enforcing them are tyranical.

    Rob
     
  18. 2atlow8

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    Let's see now,

    a) a stain on a pew or....

    b) a young mans behind sitting in the pew...
     
  19. ChristisALL

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    Control Feak churches:)

    I am quite aware of those. Does anyone know of Berean Baptist Church in Orange Park Florida??
     
  20. Deacon

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    Let's see now,

    a) new carpets or....

    b) new missionary funding for a year...

    Rob
     

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