dating a Catholic

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by UhYeahWhatHeSaid, Dec 14, 2004.

  1. UhYeahWhatHeSaid

    UhYeahWhatHeSaid
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    I have become real good friends with a girl who happens to be Catholic, We haven't dated or anything yet but we are getting close and it might come to that. I was curious what you all thought of that?
     
  2. Joshua Rhodes

    Joshua Rhodes
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    God bless you, bro. I'll be praying for you. How does she feel about the Scripture? About such things as baptism, etc.? Have you talked about it at all? Just wondering...

    BTW, I have many great friends that are Catholics, but we don't believe the same on alot of things. It doesn't keep us from being friends, but it **might** keep **me** from dating or courting someone of that faith. I firmly believe that my friends are Christians, but misled in several ways... and I'm still lifting them up, praying for them and witnessing to them in any way I can.

    Just my two cents. Anyone wanna give me change? ;)
     
  3. Scott J

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    You should never date someone who is unsaved.

    I can't judge where this girl stands but if you question her on how she believes someone is saved, she will probably reveal to you whether she is or not.

    You probably want to educate yourself some though. The RCC has redefined terms such as "grace". If she believes that one is saved by anything thing other the unmerited favor of God through faith alone and without works (ceremony, ritual, baptism, etc), then she is lost.

    Your friendship may be the vehicle for her to come to a saving knowledge of Christ. However you should never be unequally yoked.

    BTW, I wouldn't even recommend you date someone who held significant doctrinal differences and couldn't follow you to church. When you marry, you will be responsible for leading your home, especially in a spiritual sense. If your wife has strong convictions contrary to yours, you may find fulfilling your God given mandate very difficult.
     
  4. Johnv

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    Dun't matter if she's Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, or Therapist. Is she saved? If she's saved, then she's dating material. She doesn't need to be a bible-tumper/ street preacher/ aisle-dancer. She needs to only have to personal relationship with the Lord. All else is fluff.
     
  5. grace56

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    UhYeahWhatHeSaid I would say you should listen to your heart. Go ahead and find out what she believes you should be able to tell by her actions if she is saved or not.

    For your information Catholics believe as Bapitist do that they are saved by grace from God alone.

    It does say in James 2:26 faith without works is dead. Gal 5:6 only thing that counts is faith working in love. James2:24 a man is jutified by works and not by faith alone.

    At my church we are studing Matthew whis year in bible study and I am struck by Jesus's words in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7:19-20 when he says Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by there fruits you will know them.

    good luck
    grace56
     
  6. Bro Tony

    Bro Tony
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    As far as dealing with the dating. There are some questions concerning salvation that need to be asked regardless of what church someone comes from. There are also important doctrinal issues between the different religious groups.

    As to what is quoted above, this statement is patently untrue and gives the wrong information to a very important question. The Catholic Church does not teach salvation by grace alone, as a matter of fact they anathematize anyone who would teach that.

    Now whether this girl is saved or not is a question that needs to be asked and the extent that she is committed to the Catholic church and its doctrine and you to the Baptist church and its doctrine is an important issue.

    Seek the Lord, obey His Word, He will always lead you to blessings.

    Bro Tony
     
  7. Plain Old Bill

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    Good advice Bro. Tony.
     
  8. UhYeahWhatHeSaid

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    Thanks Joshua and everyone else with your responses. This I think is an interesting case but I feel something about this I dunno. Anyway like Joshua asked how does she feel about scripture etc. The thing with her is I feel she is Catholic since that is the way she was raised since her parents are Catholic etc. However the thing with her is this girl I feel needs direction. She is not an active Catholic. She hasn't been to mass in a while. She still has her Bible and flips through it some. She is currently having a little trouble with her faith. And I've noticed things that she has had a troubled past internally. She has even stated she is trying to correct or improve herself, I forget the word she used. But this seems to have started as soon as our friendship began to take off. I am not interested in this girl because she is in need of direction or anything. I am the last person I would suggest to a person who needs direction. I have my own fallacies and pitfalls as we all do and have had my own battles with church. Not ever my faith, but just in the whole church/church bureaucracy thing. I just feel that my friendship with this girl is helping her and we are getting closer. And I am having those feelings we all get about people from the amount of time we hang out. I think that I might be helping her slowly but surely. Recently she even came with me to my Sunday School's Christmas party. She had a good time there even. I am just a little nervous about the whole situation. Thanks for all your input and I look forward to even more.
     
  9. Aaron

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    Go for it. Get all mushy on her under the guise that you're trying to help her along the Way. Marry her. You're in for a world of hurt, but who cares about that? You love each other, right?
     
  10. Bro. James

    Bro. James
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    "Be not unequally yoked to unbelievers"

    My parents tried to join a Baptist and a Catholic--it did not work.

    I came along. My mother left with me. My father was deployed overseas--Pacific Theater.

    The marriage was annulled by RCC. I guess that means I really do not exist.

    Interesting--if they had not married, I would not be here.

    God works His plan--regardless of how we err.

    Selah,

    Bro. James
     
  11. Thankful

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    If you date, you may marry.

    Even if she is a Christian, there will be problems.

    Do you want your children reared Catholic?

    Do you want to become a Catholic?

    Do you want to go to separate churches?

    Just a few things to think about.
     
  12. semstudent

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    I don't know what Catholic church you belong to but you missed the mark on that one. Catholics believe in "works" salvation and that is the truth. I have personally witnessed to many Catholics as I have gone out and I have not seen one that believes that salvation is by grace through faith.
     
  13. HankD

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    As a former Catholic, I would like to say that this is not my perception.

    I strongly object to the phrase "as Baptists do".

    When I left the church of Rome, I threw off the chains of guilt and was made free by the grace of the Son of God, something the Church of Rome never afforded me with their version of "sanctifying grace" which was here today and gone tomorrow inbetween absolutions.

    HankD
     
  14. Debby in Philly

    Debby in Philly
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    I have NEVER seen a relationship between even a marginal Catholic and any Baptist or Protestant work out where the family did not go the way of raising their kids Catholic or Godless. That includes my own extended family.

    Since you never know where a relationship might lead, better to look for a born-again believer in your own tradition. Marriage has the potential for so many other problems, it's best not to manufacture one.
     
  15. dianetavegia

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    Our daughter married a marginal Catholic and her children have been indoctrinated into the church by infant baptism but they've never attended mass. In fact, they attend NO church. We warned our daughter about marrying outside her faith but she refused to listen.

    Because the inlaws are 10 mins. away, their marriage has many problems based on Catholic ideals. Erin wants no more children and the inlaws want them to have many more. The son in law sides with his parents.
     
  16. Liz Ward

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    Really bad idea. For starters the chances of her actually being saved are not high. Secondly if by any chance she IS saved then you still have major doctrinal issues. Could you become a member of her church? Could she become a member of your church? Going to separate churches doesn't work very well at all (I speak from experience) and any children you have would be expected to be raised as Catholics.

    Even if one of you could bear to become a member of the other's church, could you actually be happy there? Being miserable about where you worship is not a good thing (again i speak from experience).

    I used to think it was OK to date any other Christian. Having married someone from a different denomination i can now tell you that I would not recommend it at all. And my husband is a fellow fundamentalist too, the differences in our beliefs are not huge, but these differences affect church practice and that is the problem.

    Liz
     
  17. Loren B

    Loren B
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    I was born and raised Catholic. When I was confronted with the possibility of being saved I knew that I was facing a choice. WAS the RCC the truth or was the gospel as I was now hearing it the truth? I attended Catholic school and had a fairly thorough understanding of catholic beliefs. There are those who profess to be Catholic that truly may be saved but I sincerely doubt the salvation of anyone who understands Catholic doctrine and refuses to come out of the RCC.
    Dating is a serious situation for the believer. You should carefully seek out those with whom you can truly be equally yoked together. Even those of differing evangelical denominations are suspect as possibilities because how would you ever come to an agreement on where to attend church? How would you pose a consistent front with your children? Many other like questions could and should be asked before you go any further with this dating relationship.
     
  18. chipsgirl

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    I know I have to make my own decisions, but for the sake of not upsetting my family, I wouldn't date a Catholic. It's not worth making them angry. My stepfather was raised Catholic but he's now Baptist after dating and marrying my mother.

    I know several couples who are Baptist/Catholic and it does cause problems. I know that I want to share and live my Baptist beliefs with the person I marry. It's too important too me and is the biggest part of my life.
     
  19. UhYeahWhatHeSaid

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    Um. It's not a guise. I was saying I was seeing it as a byproduct of being good friends with her. Dating was not my intention when we started hanging out, it just seems to be heading in that direction.
     
  20. BruceB

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    I was raised Roman Catholic, attended Catholic schools through the 8th grade, and was a member of the "Future Priest Club" when I was 10-11 years old. The US Catholic Church was becoming heavily involved in liberation theology (remember the Sandinista's?) about the time I became an officer in the Army (mid 1970's) - the short story is I left the RCC due to their divergent politics. I married a girl who was SBC and began attending church with her, eventually (after five years) becoming a Christian and a Baptist. Denominational differences can work out, but as has been pointed out above, it is not easy or a sure bet. I was fortunate in that my wife was patient, the preacher at the SBC church preached much on salvation, and I had a boss who was a Christian. He led me to Christ one morning at breakfast at a hotel. I had to turn my back on my mother and grandmother's faith - that ain't easy! For me it all came together due to the Grace of God. Think long and hard, the RCC version of Christianity is very different from what we believe and being Catholic is more than just your religion, it defines your lifestyle and your family life with in-laws as well. God Bless You, Bruce
     

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