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Dating or Courting?

Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by Molly, Nov 5, 2002.

  1. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    That's not what I meant at all... :rolleyes:

    I was referring to the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", as being held as such an authority that it was being used as a standard of truth in addition to the Bible.

    Please do not twist my words. :(
     
  2. FearNot

    FearNot New Member

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    Can one person in a relationship be dating while the other is courting?

    Can people who are courting go out on a date?

    for that matter,
    Can a couple who are dating go out on a court?
     
  3. That's not what I meant at all... :rolleyes:

    I was referring to the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", as being held as such an authority that it was being used as a standard of truth in addition to the Bible.

    Please do not twist my words. :(
    </font>[/QUOTE]I'm not twisting your words, I'm proving a point. [​IMG]

    But its a moot point anyway. Not worth the battle. I believe both sides are being equally as well represented here.
     
  4. Can one person in a relationship be dating while the other is courting?

    I would not think so if they have any respect for each other. I don't think I understand the question though.

    Can people who are courting go out on a date?

    I often do go out on "dates" with Teresa, but our relationship isn't based on dating principals.

    for that matter,
    Can a couple who are dating go out on a court?

    I would think so, but I think you would get kicked off the court if it's during the game. Playing ball with each other might be a fun way to spend time with each other though.
     
  5. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    When two people enter into a courtship, it is a mutual agreement, so there's no confusion of whether what you are doing is dating or courting, so no.....

    Yes, a date is a predetermined activity at a predetermined time. Such as, movie at 8 or pizza at 6....

    What kind of court? Basketball, tennis, volleyball....???? ;)

    ~Teresa~
     
  6. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    That's not what I meant at all... :rolleyes:

    I was referring to the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", as being held as such an authority that it was being used as a standard of truth in addition to the Bible.

    Please do not twist my words. :(
    </font>[/QUOTE]I'm not twisting your words, I'm proving a point. [​IMG]
    </font>[/QUOTE]You are taking my words out of context to make your "point" and I don't care for it. If you want to say something, do it without using my words out of context..

    I still don't get what point you are trying to make... You seem to be implying that the Bible is your standard for your dating custom (you call it "courting") in contrast to others here.

    If I have misunderstood you, please clarify your point... and use your own words to do it.
     
  7. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    What are these "dating principles" that your relationship is not based on, and where did you get the idea that these "dating principles" are the standard among Christians who do not "court"?
     
  8. What are these "dating principles" that your relationship is not based on, and where did you get the idea that these "dating principles" are the standard among Christians who do not "court"?</font>[/QUOTE]Sorry BB, I'm not playing this game anymore. You will find these answers already answered in the previous posts and threads on dating and courting.

    [ November 07, 2002, 09:59 AM: Message edited by: Bro. Adam ]
     
  9. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    What are these "dating principles" that your relationship is not based on, and where did you get the idea that these "dating principles" are the standard among Christians who do not "court"?</font>[/QUOTE]Sorry BB, I'm not playing this game anymore. You will find these answers already answered in the previous posts and threads on dating and courting.</font>[/QUOTE]Okay... If you want to bail, that's fine.
     
  10. It's not called bailing. It's called being so fed up and frustrated with repeating myself that I'm not interested in doing it anymore.

    But for the sake of hopefully ending this (yeah right):

    Courtship Explained:

    Dating explained:

    This last quote here wraps it up in a nutshell. Many people fail to see the difference between the two, despite the explainations. For those of us who have both courted and dated, we know that there is a very real difference. Think about society today. Think about the 50% divorce rate and the high teenage pregnancy rate. I believe this is because of the principals taught to our children in their relationships starting early on.
     
  11. Also think about what going out on a "date" means. It means meeting someone somewhere to participate in a prearranged activity. You can "date" your boss, your best friend, or your mom. The committed relationships of dating are based on the same principals of the "date". There is little or no thought of preparing for marriage or a life together. In all honesty, I see what Chemnitz is doing as more of courting than dating. If he is actively preparing for a future together with this young lady, and they are living by godly principals, I see that as courting, not dating. If they were merely going out to go out with each other, with little regard to marrying, then I would see that as dating. So courting to me is being in a committed relationship with someone who you have first become good friends with and have decided to start preparing for marriage, keeping God at the center of the relationship.
     
  12. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    So if I understanding you correctly:

    "Dating" -- An activity between two consenting people where they spend time with each other. (Can be same sex meetings with someone like "your boss" that has nothing to do with sexual attraction, intention for marriage, or a committed relationship. It is literally setting a date with someone for an activity.

    "Courtship" -- A process between two people who are actively considering/planning marriage.

    Courtship is simply the next logical step after dating, therefore neither dating nor courtship are wrong, nor is one superior to the other. Furthermore, the two should not be presented as opposing philosophies but considered as two seperate stages in human interaction.

    Am I correct? (If I'm not, I promise I'm not trying to antagonize you...)

    [ November 07, 2002, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Baptist Believer ]
     
  13. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    From Webster's Dictionary: ( I included all the definitions that fit under what we are discussing.
    So, with these definitions, you can see that dating has a different definition than courting does...If you see, part of the definition in courting is to seek to marry, which is not seen in dating.

    When we speak of dating, most anyone is going to immediately think of the secular dating... I found a website that explains the difference, the article is 4 pages long though, so if you want to read it, then please do so, but I will post the main points

    Dating:
    easily put-think about how you dress and how you talk and what you talk about on your first meeting...is it really you?

    I'll post the aspects of courting on my next post so it doesn't get too long!
     
  14. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    So "dating" is fine, but "modern dating" is not good. Correct?
     
  15. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    And it is....especially the closer you draw towards your wedding day!

    The article that I got this view from is GentleRestraints

    Hope this will help clear up anything that was cloudy!

    ~Teresa~

    [ November 07, 2002, 01:12 PM: Message edited by: baptistforever ]
     
  16. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    Make sure to read both sides, and to really understand what this person is trying to say, read the entire article, it may be four pages, but it has a lot of information crammed into it, along with scripture to back it up! [​IMG]

    ~Teresa~
     
  17. Multimom

    Multimom New Member

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    While it may be a situation where extremeists tend to land, courting requires a great deal of time and energy on the part of the parents.

    In all actuality the books I'm familiar with would require that the "father" select the young man who is to do the courting and that the daughter has little or no say in the matter at all.

    Courting also implies that there is a future intent and frankly I don't want my daughters doing anything with a "future intent" until they are of legal age in my state and even then that's too young in my mind.

    I read from the 30 yo young man that he would not "ask" permission of a 30yo woman's father to court his daughter, but realistically if that is the standard set in that home, he better be ready to follow the rules or move on.

    I think if we followed the standards for courting we would see a lot less teen pregnancy (men, hug your daughters every day, I don't care if they are 16 let them still snuggle with you, they need the security of that appropriate relationship if you don't want them seeking it from their 16 yo boyfriend. Dad's date your daughter. Set appointments and spend time with just her, let her know that when you prepare to "give her away" it will break your heart and it will also give you your greatest joy.) and alot more "for life" marriages.

    Men I'm telling you, if you don't want a pregnant daughter, show her how valuable she is as a person to you and to God. Tell her how she is a pearl of great price and worthy of God's best. Bless her with every spiritual concept of God's love for her and His desire for her to fall desperately in love with him. Lead her to the fountain of God's true love and do it by your example. Don't discard her when she reaches puberty because you aren't man enough to cope with her growing up and you think it may be perceived as "sexual". A man who loves God and loves his daughter would never ever see his daughter as a "sexual being" but as that sweet little angel his wife presented him with all those years ago, wrapped in a blanket and wearing diapers. She is and always will be your baby girl. My daddy is 73 and I just turned 41 and the man of my heart while I desperately love my husband is and always will be my daddy.

    Take it from a daughter's heart. If you don't teach her about love and how a man should respect her she'll learn a false love from any boy who is willing to notice her. Teach her to see herself as a prize that should be properly competed for and treated with the value of a most priceless gift. If you find a young man who does this as you have then you can know beyond a shadow of doubt that your daughter will cherished as much by her future intended as she was by you the day she was born.
     
  18. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    Make sure to read both sides, and to really understand what this person is trying to say, read the entire article, it may be four pages, but it has a lot of information crammed into it, along with scripture to back it up!</font>[/QUOTE]Okay, I looked at it.

    "Modern dating" as this person has defined it is obviously bad. But of course I don't think anyone here has suggested that those activities are good in the first place. If you are a Christian, you should have different priorities.

    Therefore, "dating" is fine, but "modern dating" (as defined by the article) is bad.
     
  19. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    Well.....let's look at this little thing real quick: If you were to go into a group of people and mention dating, the group would most likely think that you were talking about modern dating, which is bad....

    Dating(going on dates, I'm presuming you mean) is ok, depending on the intent and the purpose for it... I hope you can decifer what I'm trying to say... I had something else typed, but hit the wrong button, and cant' get my original response back :(

    Hope you can understand what I'm trying to say!

    ~Teresa~
     
  20. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    People who know me know a little about my character from seeing me in action. I think they would know the difference... So the thrust of your position is that the word "dating" has lost a wholesome connotation, so therefore we should use a different term to identify Christ-honoring dates?

    *Exactly!*

    Therefore there is no real issue between dating and courting. They are two different stages in a relationship.
     
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