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Dating or Courting?

Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by Molly, Nov 5, 2002.

  1. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    But, I already have...
     
  2. Molly

    Molly New Member

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    Why do I feel dizzy at this point,it seems we all are talking in cirlces....so much repition,but so little understanding....
     
  3. "So, to what, exactly, were you referring?"

    Weeeeee....someone asked. I was refering to the seemingly endless repition of "courting and dating are the same thing", when several people have already adaquately explained that they are not.

    "Why do I feel dizzy at this point,it seems we all are talking in cirlces....so much repition,but so little understanding...."

    lalalalalala...Just do what I do Molly. I stopped taking this thread seriously a long time ago. It's the only way to be sure to avoid painting a red target on your garage wall, writing "Stress Reliever" above it, and running your head into it as fast as you can, repeating as necessary of course.
     
  4. "THIS is why I have made these two posts in this thread. Sexual abstinence may be one facet of "purity" but it is not the whole picture. By this statement you are implying that somehow you are doing something "better" than other people."

    Oh BUT she is doing something better! Refraining from sexual intercourse makes her a better person than someone who doesn't.
     
  5. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter New Member

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    Clint, you obviously missed this point that I had made, considering you mentioned that Christ said that it is more than just physical acts....

    Here's the part you left out:
    [ November 08, 2002, 07:18 PM: Message edited by: baptistforever ]
     
  6. "Answer me a question:
    Which is less pleasing to God: two people of consenting age kissing each other or someone commiting an act such as a lie that affects scores of people negatively?"

    This is SUCH a loaded question. The fact remains that either way- it is displeasing to God.
     
  7. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    That's what I thought you were referring to. Hence my immediate reply, just under yours. [​IMG]

    That is exactly what is being disputed! The explanation of why they are different hasn't held up to scrutiny.

    Good to know. :rolleyes: Seriously, that disappoints me.
     
  8. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    Kissing is displeasing to God? Says who? Certainly not God.

    Sorry to be off-topic, but come on . . .
     
  9. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    Now, I'm not sure if this was supposed to just be a general statement or if it was directed at someone...If it was directed at someone, I haven't seen anyone say that dating is hacing sex, although you will see more times than not that a dating relationship will escalate to a very physically intimate state...</font>[/QUOTE][​IMG] No it wasn't directed at anyone is particular... Just the common "you" of conversation.

    Already done. :D

    Never had the old motto... :D On the other hand, I didn't obsess about being "pure" or abstaining from sex. Rather, I had standards for myself that I usually shared at the very beginning of relationships (during the friendship phase) that were known and I stuck to them. If the young woman I was "dating" didn't like them, she didn't last very long.

    I think too many times people obsess about fighting sin instead of keeping busy doing the right things. Resistance to sin wears down over time, but indulgence in doing good things does not. The sin issue usually takes care of itself if you are doing the right things. (At least, that's my experience...)
     
  10. stubbornkelly

    stubbornkelly New Member

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    It doesn't sound like Clint was saying that being pure isn't better than not being pure (although I'll dispute you on the "not having sex - presumably outside of marriage - makes you a better person" dig.) It seemed like Teresa was making a statement about dating being more likely to lead to impurity than courting:
    And when we combine that with the idea of people who don't have sex outside of marriage being better people than those who do (which seems to really go against the idea of the same negative value for different sins) . . . AND with the idea that dating is about sex, so those of us that date had better watch our Ps and Qs . . . . . it really comes off as sounding superior, to the point of condescension.

    That's what I read, anyway, and that's what I inferred from Clint's statement.

    Edited because I wanted to say that when I was talking about "better person" up above, I was going off of what may have been a misread on my part. I waa hearing "better person than" and not just "better person." We are all better people for not giving in to temptation. My skin crawls, though, when I hear that not committing a particular sin makes one better than one who committs that particular sin, since no sins are better or worse than others. The sin of sex outside marriage is no worse a sin than lying, IMO. I was driving home and realized that Adam may not have been talking in the sense I "heard." If that's the case, then I agree, those who wait may be better off than those who do not, but I'd take issue with picking a particular sin with which to judge quality of personhood. [​IMG]

    Edited again because I re-read Adam's post and realized he was, in fact, saying "better person than. My original statement stands.

    [ November 08, 2002, 11:00 PM: Message edited by: stubbornkelly ]
     
  11. Molly

    Molly New Member

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    Did anyone read my story that I gave as an example? I'm just wondering if you think that is *better* than most dating stories...?
     
  12. What page in the thread is it on Molly?
     
  13. Molly

    Molly New Member

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  14. Clint Kritzer

    Clint Kritzer Active Member
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    Loaded AND well-aimed.

    Would you like to elaborate on this notion that kissing in a loving relationship is displeasing to God? This seems to be at the core of the issue.

    Mind you, not the Judas kiss nor the kiss of Folly in Proverbs, but in a healthy, mature, adult relationship. I am also not referring to a public display but an at home, between a man and a woman kiss.

    Look at Song of Solomon 1
    2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love is more delightful than wine.

    Note that the entire Book is about the Bride, not the Wife.

     
  15. Molly

    Molly New Member

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    You may not be asking me,but I would like to answer,if that is okay.

    Kissing is a very natural show of affection...it is special and should be treated as such. It should be for that someone special,and a lot seem to think it is best to hold off on any physical part of the relationship until engaged or married. I think that is wise,because we all know what the next steps are,physically. In conclusion,kissing is great and when it is the appropriate time in a relationship to allow this,then it is a special and sweet thing.

    I wonder how many young people see it as special?
     
  16. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    Okay, I read it.

    Here's the direct link in case others want to read it too:

    Never Been Kissed

    The first paragraph:

    I don't want to come across as rude or unkind, but there are some major problems with the assumptions made here. Neither the bride nor groom are "truly pure" or "truly virtuous". They are both stained with sin. Even though they may not have been physically involved with anyone else all their lives, sin is not just a matter of action -- but thought and desire (coveting). Even if both the bride and groom have somehow managed to avoid *any* sexual sin of mind or body, they are sinners nonetheless. If they have any purity or virtue, it is because of Christ redeeming them. Any two believers trying to please God are as virtuous as this couple. While it is certainly a good thing that they have not been promiscuous before marriage, it is not something to be flaunted. (For what it's worth, in a Christian wedding the white dress that the bride wears represents *the church's* purity -- redeemed and cleansed by Christ -- not the bride's alleged virtue.) People witness truly pure (through Christ) men and women make this covenant all the time.

    Another selection from the end of the story:

    That's all fine and good, but that does not make pre-marital kissing a sin for believers. It does not *inevitably* lead to more physical acts as some have suggested. If a person has sincere convictions and is mature enough to set limits for themselves, they can certainly control themselves. If a person is not mature enough to set limits or has no sincere convictions, they shouldn't date, court or marry! They are certainly not ready for it.

    While I certainly believe kissing is a very special thing, it does not bother me a bit that my love has kissed others before me. It does not make either of us any less than a person nor damage our relationship.

    If you choose not to kiss before you marry, good for you! Just do not sin.

    If you kiss before you marry, good for you! Just do not sin.

    [edited to name link]

    [ November 09, 2002, 12:37 AM: Message edited by: Clint Kritzer ]
     
  17. Baptist Believer

    Baptist Believer Well-Known Member
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    Yep, I know. :D

    Laying back on a blanket and watching the stars on a clear night and talking for hours...

    Walking along the beach, hand in hand...

    Going to dinner with her/his parents...

    Going to worship on a Sunday evening...

    Prayer...

    Visiting a shut-in...

    Some people also try to get each other nekkid and go after it... but not everyone. [​IMG]
     
  18. :confused: Could someone help me out here- who said kissing before marriage is sinful? I know I didn't say it...could someone quote or point me to the page where someone said that? :confused: thanks!
     
  19. Clint Kritzer

    Clint Kritzer Active Member
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    Right here, Adam:
    That was prompted, initially by this statement:
     
  20. OOHHH [​IMG]

    I misunderstood. That's what I get for being drugged up to the wad zoo and exshuasted at the same time.

    Sorry I gave the impression that I thought kissing b/f marriage was sinful.
     
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