Dating

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by freeatlast, Jan 24, 2011.

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To date or not to date non believers

Poll closed Feb 8, 2011.
  1. Yes there is nothing wrong with datng a non believer

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. No a Christian should not date a non believer

    35 vote(s)
    97.2%
  3. It depends on the non believer

    1 vote(s)
    2.8%
  4. Other

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. freeatlast

    freeatlast
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    We are seeing more and more the lines between the church and those of the world wiped out as the church and those of the world seem to be blending and joining together in many of their functions and activities. So should a Christian date a non believer? Does God really care one way or the other?
     
  2. Salty

    Salty
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    Every Date is A
    Potential Mate
     
  3. annsni

    annsni
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    Dating a non-believer is an absolute no-no and if my daughters ever even THOUGHT of it, they'd be toast. But fortunately, we've talked so much about this and it's a non-issue. :) My one daughter wouldn't even date a believer who is new in the faith because she wants a man who will be a spiritual leader and one who is at least where she is in her walk. Now, that's not to say she won't ever date this guy but for now, he's off limits to her and that is self-imposed. :)

    We've talked about the "ideal" of marriage. We spoke of what the girls want in a man and I told them they need to know what they want and stick to their guns on those things. Don't date a guy who is less than what they want because it may be what they have to live with forever. Of course we discussed unreasonable expectations but if they want a man who will be the spiritual leader, they need to date a guy who has an independent relationship with God and one who's seeking His will in his life. Someone who is already encouraging them with what they share about their walk and is already doing ministry in whatever way they can. That is the biggest "ideal" they want. From there, we have spoken of other things but without that first thing - of a man with a strong relationship with the Lord, everything else falls. Thank God they feel that way!
     
  4. Salty

    Salty
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    Ann, are we all invited to the wedding? :smilewinkgrin: :thumbsup:
     
  5. annsni

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    Absolutely!! When it ever happens. There's no "beau" on the scene with either one so it will be a while. :)
     
  6. JohnDeereFan

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    I wouldn't give my daughter over to an non-Christian boy. The boy probably wouldn't make it two minutes into the interview process (yes, for those here who mock us for homeschooling our children and not having a TV, I do interview those boys they are going to court so you can go ahead and start mocking us for that, too).

    My oldest daughter (18) is courting a boy from our church. My next oldest daughter (15) likes boys, like all girls do, but I think would rather spend time with her horses. The younger ones, we'll find out soon enough.

    As for my sons, my oldest is just kind of oblivious and the younger boys are only now reaching the age where they're starting to notice the difference.
     
  7. JohnDeereFan

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    I don't drink
    And I don't chew
    And I don't go
    With girls that do
    Burma Shave
     
  8. Mexdeaf

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    Ewwwwwww! :p
     
  9. freeatlast

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    [SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]JohnDeereFan that is great. I have a friend and his wife who have a daughter who is 21 years old still lives at home and is attending school for a degree. She recently met a young man at some event she was at and told her father and asked if he could meet the boy. The boy then was required to come and speak to the father about dating his daughter and what he expected from him. He even went out and inspected the young man's car to be sure that the young man was not driving a hot rod. This friend denied the initial request to go someplace together alone, but did allow them to meet at the house so as to get to know each other and the family, study together and such.[/SIZE][/SIZE]

    [SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]They have also been permitted to meet at the young man's mothers house where he lives when she is home. He is in school also seeking a degree to do law enforcement. They can go with the family when the family goes places and recently to go some places alone as long as there are others around. Church, an event and such. They were not to be touchy, not even hold hands. [/SIZE][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]Recently the family of this girl went to a movie and this young man went along. The movie was not what they thought, PG13 and there was profanity in the movie so they got up and left. It has now been 3 or 4 months of this and the boy is losing interest. He told the girl that he wanted to back off for a while and she has accepted his wishes. This kind of process protects our sons and daughters. With an 80+ percent of sexual purity failure in the claimed church and a 50+ percent of divorce there has to be a father that sets the standards for his children so as to offer some assurance through guidance of purity prior to marriage for his children. [/SIZE][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=+0][SIZE=+0]John it sounds like you are doing a great job. Don't let the mocking of others detour you because 80% of their children fail in purity because of the lack of concern and guidance of the fathers. Keep up the good work. God bless[/SIZE][/SIZE]


    [/SIZE]
     
    #9 freeatlast, Jan 25, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2011
  10. mets65

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    If I have a daughter God be with the boy she dates.
     
  11. freeatlast

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    Should not your son be held to the same standards even higher as he would be dating anothers daughter?
     
  12. JohnDeereFan

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    Thanks.

    Our daughter is eighteen and she's going to school about an hour and a half away. Still comes home most weekends to see her family, which she loves and misses greatly (which, of course, is code speak for "I've got a ton of laundry and I'm sick of eating noodles").

    The boy she's dating, Brian, is active in our church and has a terrific testimony and reputation as a Godly young man. I'm spending a lot of time with him and I would be thrilled for him to be the one to marry my daughter. He's a Yankee, but nobody's perfect.

    He's a good boy. Good parents. I like the fact that he respects my authority over my daughter and doesn't try to skirt it (no pun intended). He's fine with the rules and with many of their dates being chaperoned.

    How funny that you should say that. Brian is studiying criminal justice at the U of Maryland.

    We're now allowing them to do more and more unchaperoned but many dates are and those that aren't usually aren't in private places.

    Yeah, I agree. So much of what our society teaches young people about relationships is based on instant gratification, both sexual and emotional. That's why you have so many girls now who can no longer tell what love is. The sexualization of our girls in our society is awful.

    Thanks. After the last couple of days, that means a lot to me.
     
  13. mets65

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    Oh absolutely
     
  14. annsni

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    My husband tells our girls to consider him their "agent". ALL boys need to go through him in order to get to the girls and they can tell him whether or not they want the boy to get through. We've had the girls say "no" and "yes" to different boys and even the boy who met my daughter in September who was interested in her knew very fast that he had to go through hubby. The girls are happy to tell them. Of course when they come to speak to him, he's always got the shotgun out on the table and he doesn't mind joking that we have a sailboat, a large anchor and a very large body of water nearby. :laugh:
     
  15. jaigner

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    If your daughter's 18, isn't it her choice, or at least will be within a short time?

    I don't believe Christians should be involved romantically with non-believers, but I think it's a stretch to suggest that the Church (that is, believers that make up the Church) should not be participating in functions and activities with non-believers. How else are we supposed to be Kingdom-bearers if we don't interact (non-romantically) with non-believers?

    This is a good point. It's absolutely foolish to believe that we're supposed to somehow guard daughters more than sons.

    Some of the father/daughter relationships I saw growing up as a homeschooler were absolutely unhealthy, with daughters being required to serve their fathers almost as maids and, even into adulthood, be under their authority, unlike male children.

    The standard is the same for both. Boys and girls need to be raised as people of character and to make good decisions for themselves about who they will be with.
     
  16. annsni

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    Where in the Bible does it say that a daughter is no longer under her father's protection and authority at 18?
     
  17. Thinkingstuff

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    I could give you a long list of friends that couldn't wait on God and dated a non believing person. In fact every one of their stories ended up badly for everyone involved. half of them haven't returned to the church :tear:
     
  18. kfinks

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    A young man who was interested in my younger daughter came to meet us one evening while I was on the back patio going through several kata (forms). He asked what I was doing and I told him that I was working on applications of the seven death blows. The look on his face was priceless.
     
  19. JohnDeereFan

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    Legally? Yes. Biblically? No.
     
  20. freeatlast

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    Yes and it is too bad that so many have not raised their children to understand the difference.
    Then Peter and the [other] apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.

    When we love our rights above the precepts of God we in effect deny the One who we claim to know.
     

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