dealing with a hypocrite in the Church

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by GODzThunder, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. GODzThunder

    GODzThunder
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    A short while back our Church started falling apart. When I first took this Church two years ago we had an average attendance of 32. Since I have been there we have increased that attendance to over 56 despite run ins and clashes with the chairman of the deacon's wife. Now, the former pastor's wife (pastor passed away) is back at the Church attending and since then I have clashes and struggles over the leadership of the Church. She criticizes every motion I propose, attacks my every move and has an extremely sharp tongue that has hurt and run off a good many new people in our Church.

    for the past two months we have had an average attendance of 28. I struggled and fought to seek God's wisdom as to what I was doing wrong in the Church. I now fully believe that she has done or said something to run the people off.

    Tonight in worship I made mention of how some of us at times, including myself feel like tucking tail and running in the face of the fire of trials and tribulation in life and that we should remember that Christ is always standing by us, we have no reason to fear... She immediately spoke up and replied that I have a flaw in my walk because she never felt like running in the face of adversity. It was then that I fully realized all that I have mentioned in the first part of this posting. I am dealing with a hyper-judgmental hypocrite who is constantly criticising every thing I do (because it is not the way her perfect husband would have done it).

    My question is how do I deal with a hypocrite that is hurting our Church? She has too much political power and influence over the people in the Church and I am at a loss. Every possible solution I have I see will hurt our Church devestatingly. It is as if she has seeped into the cornerstone of the arch of our Church... remove her and it will all colapse. Her "rise" to power was so fast and subtle that I was unable to do anything about it. I feel overpowered and fully stressed. What can I do?
     
  2. Soulman

    Soulman
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,088
    Likes Received:
    0
    First I would obviously pray. Then I would sit her down to a fresh talk on the facts of life. I would show her verses how women should be quiet in church, then tell her to do so.

    I would tell her if this keeps happening you will ask her to leave.

    She has already cost you half your congregation. Take the falloutand with God's power rebuild!
     
  3. dh1948

    dh1948
    Expand Collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2003
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    0
    If the church nor the deacons will not side with you on this matter, I advise you to walk away. That's my ititial thought. If a church will allow something like this to go on, it does not deserve a pastor.

    I realize that the will of God is always the utmost issue. Maybe God is allowing you to go through this to make you more like Jesus. Or, maybe He is allowing this to take place to show you that your time could be better spent. I can't say.

    I will pray for you...right now.
     
  4. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia
    Expand Collapse
    Guest

    I agree with the above responses. This woman has no business speaking out in church and is tearing the church apart.

    I'd begin to look for another church who is seeking a pastor. I believe I read the FBC in Jessup is searching for a pastor.
     
  5. TCassidy

    TCassidy
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2005
    Messages:
    12,195
    Likes Received:
    1,315
    Never give up. Preach the word and allow the convicting ministry of the Holy Spirit to touch the hearts of God's people so they can see her wicked spirit. The bible is replete with passages dealing with this type of woman. Find them and preach from them. [​IMG]

    I had a very similar problem 20 years ago when I took my present church. I just kept preaching and pretty soon the trouble makers either got right with God or they realized they couldn't run me off so they left. I have had 18 years of peace, growth, and the moving of the spirit. We have started 5 new churches out of ours, and we presently have 3 church planters on the field planting 3 more new works.

    Hang in there. God can deal with the problem. [​IMG]
     
  6. Thankful

    Thankful
    Expand Collapse
    <img src=/BettyE.gif>

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,430
    Likes Received:
    0
    Have you had a talk with this woman? I assume that she is older than you are. Perhaps you could learn from her. Perhaps if she felt useful in the church she would not be so negative. Try talking to her with understanding. She has lost her husband and her identity. She probably is hurting. That, of course, does not excuse her actions, but perhaps you can be more sympathetic.

    Further if the deacon's wife is giving you trouble, then I would suggest that you talk to the deacon.

    As TCassidy said..God can deal with the problem. Let Him guide you. I am always amazed how God works out this type of problem.
     
  7. loving2daysyouth

    loving2daysyouth
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2005
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    0
    Here's the problem with churches. They do not recognize the leadership of the Pastor. You are the leader with Christ as the head. I would sit her down and tell her that she is en route for church discipline if she continues her actions.
    At the same time teach her the proper way to run church business.

    Do not approach this as "Ladies must be quiet." That is both unBiblical and will cause her to shut the doors quickly.

    I would also say, Do not quit the church. God calls you elsewhere and that's all. You don't quit because it's getting rough!

    Be strong and of good courage! You're talking with folks here who have travelled that road and will encourage you whatever way possible. Handle things Biblically and God will honor your efforts. You still have 20+ that God has entrusted you to. "Preach the Word!"
     
  8. ILUVLIGHT

    ILUVLIGHT
    Expand Collapse
    Guest

    Hi Godzthunder;
    My pastor had the same kind of thing with a lady. She is a very wealthy lady and the biggest contributor to the offering plate. Most all of the members knew it and generally let her have her way. However she had disagreements with our pastor and was always judging him about something. Our preacher had a remedy and preached a sermon about hypocrites in the church and how a lot of people didn't want to come because of them. He held up three fingers and explained that each finger represented certain things the first was God of course the second was the hypocrite and the third was the guy who wouldn't come to church because of the hypocrites.

    He then explain that as long as someone stayed away from church because of the hypocrites he was further away from God than the hypocrite was. (Myself I don't believe there is one church with out hypocrites.) Then he explained that if they would only come and ignore the hypocrites they would be much closer to God than the hypocrites because, they would be true over comers. They would with out a doubt overcome the hypocrites. The lady didn't leave but she got a good look at what she was doing. I don't think she even realized her own mistake. Her main charity was missions and when she thought about it I guess she got the message because after that she became a lot more tolerant of the Pastor and a few others in the church. I think she realized just how delicate a ministry can be.
    I think the biggest challenge the pastor had with her was loving her in spite of her mistakes. Not so easy after some of the rotten things she did. He forgave her anyway even without an apology witnessing I believe true Christ likeness.
    May Christ Shine Light On Us All;
    Mike [​IMG]
     
  9. TexasSky

    TexasSky
    Expand Collapse
    Guest

    I wish I had an answer for you.
    Can all of us reading this say a prayer for you? Asking God to give you the wisdom to lead and the wisdom to deal with this problem His way?
     
  10. SteveD

    SteveD
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Check out the following books

    Well Intentioned Dragons by Marhall Shelley Word Books- Antagonists in the Church by Kenneth C.Haugk Augsburg publishing and The Peacemaker by Ken Sande Baker Books
     
  11. GODzThunder

    GODzThunder
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well I am seeking another Church to pastor as I am not going to waste any more time in a place where every idea I come up with gets torn down in ridicule and criticism, even the ones that have shown great success. Her main problem is that while I love the SBC I attended an independent baptist college and she resents this greatly. Her husband used to be the associational director before he retired and took this Church as a five year interim pastor.

    I cannot compete with her, I cannot win against her and every thing I do becomes a fight. I am resigning at the end of June to hopefully take a new Church more local to where I live.

    Please pray for me that God puts me in a new ministry, the one I am desperately praying for.
     
  12. Soulman

    Soulman
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,088
    Likes Received:
    0
    Brother,
    Why should you leave? Is this woman stronger than God? Can you assess that she is out of God's will according to the scriptures? If she is tell her she needs to get right or move on. If it is God's will for you to be there you will have the victory. If you leave the same problem will be dumped into the next preachers lap.

    I would suggest that you confront this situation in faith that God's will be done. She will lose.

    Hang in there and desperately pray for the ministry God has already given you. Just my opinion. I'll be praying.

    Besides, if you give up to get away from this hypocrite, be careful of Walmart. It's full of em! [​IMG]
     
  13. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    That is not the real problem at all.

    There is one way to win those people. You need to love her and earnestly pray for her. Seek God on how you might win her. Praise her for the little things you notice which are good.

    Some people will resent it when somebody tries to change what they saw as good. She probably liked things the way her husband did. Some people just find it hard to change.

    Are you sure she is physically all right?

    Do realize that you need people like her. She is an absolute necessity to keep you praying. I have seen cases where God miraculously changed a person's heart.

    When you begin to pray for her with a pure heart you will begin to see a changed person in both oyurself and her. That lady will teach you to forgive and love people.

    I believe what George Mueller sought is exactly where all of us should be.

    George Mueller's Secret:

    "There was a day when I died:

    • Died to George Mueller: to his tastes, his opinions, his
    preferences and his will.

    • Died to the world—its approval or censure.

    • Died to the approval or blame of even my brethren and friends.

    Since then I have studied only to show myself approved unto God."
     
  14. Thankful

    Thankful
    Expand Collapse
    <img src=/BettyE.gif>

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,430
    Likes Received:
    0
    I still think that the woman is grieving. She lost her husband and when she did she lost her identity in the church. She was a pastor's wife.

    She needs sympathy and pray!
     
  15. Soulman

    Soulman
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,088
    Likes Received:
    0
    So what is going on brother? Did you leave? Did you stay?
     
  16. GODzThunder

    GODzThunder
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    as of this past Saturday I learned from a good friend that select members of the Church took it upon themselves to hold a secret meeting concerning their complaints of my ministry. I believe that they even accused me of lying from the pulpit as one of their nit picks though I do not really know what they were pointing at with that slander. I do not think they wanted to fire me as much as humiliate me in a suprise meeting after worship sunday. I let that pleasure down when I submitted my immediate resignation. I am currently looking for a new pastorate that is more serious towards evangelism and ministry. I just received my Masters so I am seeking a larger ministry that is already active in youth, children and various activities.

    My wife and I love children and have always wanted a Children's Church. People kept running young families and children off from the Church at my old pastorate so I feel that we will have a great opportunity to operate a children's church in my new pastorate when I find one.
     
  17. gb93433

    gb93433
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2003
    Messages:
    15,496
    Likes Received:
    6
    Jonathan Edwards was fired. A man who is now in charge of evangelism for the SBC in one of the states was asked to leave a church that he had grown from 75 to almost 600 in six years.

    From what I can tell things are not getting any better.

    People want nickels and noses without any work. They like their architectural and country club evangelism.

    Jesus got crucified and the Pharisees gave him a ot of trouble. So you are in good company.
     
  18. Soulman

    Soulman
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,088
    Likes Received:
    0
    Brother,
    What is done is done. Sometimes we just can't beat the odds.(so to speak) I would suggest when you take your next ministry that you state upfront that you are the pastor and therefore the leader of the church. If you have a deacon board, disolve it. Deacons should not work in any leadership capacity. Have them busy with visitation and serving the needs of the flock. I would disolve any committies that think they are too big for their britches as well. You are God's man and will run your church as you and the Holy Spirit see fit. You answer only to Christ although accountable for financial and common sense behaviors.

    Wish you the best!!
     

Share This Page

Loading...