This is very difficult and I have tried many times to reason with my wife about her spending habits, but it does not sink in. Talking with the pastor is worthless as he is a people pleaser and would never be stern with anyone. I know before we married she filed Bankruptcy and has no debts to pay on. Even though she makes more money than me (recently got a raise) and has no debts to pay, she is always borrowing money from me. I had to separate our bank accounts due to her overspending and not leaving me money to pay my own debts. At the moment I have a good credit score since I always make the min payment, however that may change. I strive to budget every penny and have no new debts, and can always make my min payments on all debts. My wife refuses to see her overspending on things, but insists that going out to eat almost everyday is okay, buying groceries all the time and shopping often is okay and just can't seem to get the picture. Attempted reasonings have all failed so perhaps the only way I can help her control her overspending would be to say as a consequence of this behavior I am attending the Calvinistic church for this one service and that may teach her, as she does not like me attending any services there, just the men's discipleship. Ideas??? I am very very frustrated and my patience is being tested. PS- Other than this area and the Calvinism issue my wife and I have a wonderful relationship.