Demon in Town

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by Dr. Bob, May 14, 2004.

  1. Dr. Bob

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    ESCAPED DEMOND REPORTED IN CASPER
    Casper Star-Tribune

    There's something spooky going on in Casper, according to the Weekly World News, but local residents and law enforcement officials Thursday say they're skeptical of the tabloid's tale.

    The article in question was published recently under the headline, "Demon Escapes from Hell! -- after geologists accidentally open portal to inner Earth."

    The portal supposedly exists just outside Casper -- the same city where the Florida-based tabloid reported a space alien child was found last June, despite denials by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and local law enforcement.

    Perhaps it should come as no surprise the tabloid would choose Wyoming as the state in which to stage this devilish story -- after all, the state has some of the world's deepest gas wells, a geographic landmark named "Hell's Half Acre," and bubbling, boiling sulfuric geysers that shoot up from the earth's insides.

    According to the story, 16 geologists drilling for soil samples near Casper hit a soft spot at approximately 450 feet. By retracting their drill, they accidentally opened a "portal" large enough for a drooling, hissing, 5-foot-tall demon with 7-inch fangs to escape.

    The demon allegedly chased the scientists into a wooded area and was last seen jogging down a two-lane highway just west of Casper with a "clumsily scrawled 'Will Work for Food' sign in one hand and a 12-pack of beer in the other."

    The Weekly World News reported that Natrona County sheriff's deputies and the FBI are warning citizens to be on the lookout for a "subterranean beast" who may be posing as a homeless person. The story said the demon may also have hitched a ride to California or sprouted wings and flew to Washington state.

    Natrona County Undersheriff Dave Kinghorn on Wednesday said an escaped demon was news to him.

    "We've probably seen people running down a two-lane highway with a sign and a 12-pack of beer," he said, but added those folks weren't demons.

    West of Casper on Goose Egg Road, no soil-digging scientists could be found, but Ken and Shawn Tescher from "T&T Drilling " were digging down 500 feet for water Wednesday.

    "We've been out here since early this morning and there's been no demons here," Ken said.

    "There was a well that was giving us terrible fits," Shawn said, admitting it is possible -- though not likely -- the trouble was due to demonic activity.

    He pointed to a guardian angel statue found recently and said the men kept it on their truck for good luck.

    "We dug and found a cavern over there," Ken added, pointing northeast, but he said the only thing that came out of that well was water.

    Closer to the city limits, at Paradise Liquors and Lounge, bartender/saleswoman Amy O'Brien said she had not heard of any demons purchasing 12-packs of beer, or any alcohol for that matter, although she did say she's seen some "weird ones" come in.

    The story did not state what kind of beer the demon was toting, but O'Brien speculated that demons probably drink an expensive import.
     
  2. Johnv

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    Casper? Weekly World News?
     
  3. menageriekeeper

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    You should probably have posted that in the humor forum! Thanks for the laugh.
     
  4. following-Him

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    Someone having a bad dream maybe :confused: :rolleyes: :D
     
  5. Xingyi Warrior

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    This is one that circulates every now and then. I remember about 15 years ago when I worked in a supermarket on our breaks we would read the tabloids. This story has been republished countless times with the places changing. When I first read about it, it was in Siberia, then South Africa, then Alaska.
     
  6. Frogman

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    Well, you just never know the elaborate tunnel system these demons have, and then with the ability to spontaneously sprout wings and fly, could turn up anywhere, probably headed for "Hell for Certain" [Kentucky that is]. :(

    Bro. Dallas
     
  7. dianetavegia

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    I think I found him in my mailbox today. He was hidden in some white envelopes that said 'account information enclosed' :eek:
     
  8. Bartimaeus

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    My next door neighbor said that he's been wondering where his mother in law has been off to for the past several months.

    Thanks ------Bart
     
  9. rsr

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    My confidence in The Weekly World News has been dealt a devastating blow. Now I'm reconsidering the veracity of those stories about the girl who was raised by sheep and about discovering an Old West town on the moon.

    This story, by the way, has an interesting history, one that runs through R.W. Schambach and the Trinity Broadcasting Network:

    A TANGLED WEB
     
  10. Frogman

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    Dear rsr,
    I have two questions:

    First, was Christ lost?

    Second, are you a geologist? :D

    Bro. Dallas
     
  11. Dr. Bob

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    Personally think the later paramutation of the story, centered in Casper instead of Finland, is more believable.

    Walking down a 2-land road with a six pack? Hello? This is real, I tell you!
     
  12. Frogman

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    That does lend credibility to the story. Ya have to admit that much.
     
  13. rsr

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    Bro. Dallas, you had me there for a minute with your first question. Now I see where it comes from. No, not that I know of, but you'd have to ask Schambach; he said it, not I.

    That said, you must have a wicked hillbilly sense of humor to put me through that. :D

    As to the second, no, but I do dig for a living. Part of the leftwing, communist, Godless media, you know.

    As to the beer in question, this bolsters the presumption of supernatural strength. Now, toting around a 6-pack is perhaps unexceptional, but carrying a 12-pack for any distance requires some strength. By my rough calculation, a 12-pack weighs about 18.7 pounds. The rate of consumption, of course, would affect the ongoing weight.

    There is, I'm told, dispute about whether the beer is imported or domestic. There are those who say homogenized American beer is a product of the Devil; others affirm that the beer in question must be English, because it's best served warm.
     
  14. rsr

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    Double post. I can either attribute it to demonic interference or my own stupidity. Take your choice; I know what my explanation will be.
     
  15. Dr. Bob

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    Beer is the devil's brew, for certain sure. It all came up out of the pit in the beginning!

    rsr - Flip Wilson (the comedian) had the answer for you. "The devil made me do it."
     
  16. rsr

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    Naw, that's bad theology. The devil can't make you do anything. However, he (or space aliens discovered near Casper, and how come I missed that story?) can upset primal communication jurisdictions (see how easy CT is?) and interfere with accepted modes of interpersonal exchange.

    Anyway, I'd take Redd Foxx over Flip Wilson.
     
  17. Carolyn Dee

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    I just got back from looking at www.weeklyworldnews.com and they are on a "well deserved vacation." Wyoming perhaps??? [​IMG]
     
  18. rsr

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    Maybe somewhere warmer?
     

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