Demon in Town

ESCAPED DEMOND REPORTED IN CASPER
Casper Star-Tribune

There's something spooky going on in Casper, according to the Weekly World News, but local residents and law enforcement officials Thursday say they're skeptical of the tabloid's tale.

The article in question was published recently under the headline, "Demon Escapes from Hell! -- after geologists accidentally open portal to inner Earth."

The portal supposedly exists just outside Casper -- the same city where the Florida-based tabloid reported a space alien child was found last June, despite denials by the Federal Bureau of Investigation and local law enforcement.

Perhaps it should come as no surprise the tabloid would choose Wyoming as the state in which to stage this devilish story -- after all, the state has some of the world's deepest gas wells, a geographic landmark named "Hell's Half Acre," and bubbling, boiling sulfuric geysers that shoot up from the earth's insides.

According to the story, 16 geologists drilling for soil samples near Casper hit a soft spot at approximately 450 feet. By retracting their drill, they accidentally opened a "portal" large enough for a drooling, hissing, 5-foot-tall demon with 7-inch fangs to escape.

The demon allegedly chased the scientists into a wooded area and was last seen jogging down a two-lane highway just west of Casper with a "clumsily scrawled 'Will Work for Food' sign in one hand and a 12-pack of beer in the other."

The Weekly World News reported that Natrona County sheriff's deputies and the FBI are warning citizens to be on the lookout for a "subterranean beast" who may be posing as a homeless person. The story said the demon may also have hitched a ride to California or sprouted wings and flew to Washington state.

Natrona County Undersheriff Dave Kinghorn on Wednesday said an escaped demon was news to him.

"We've probably seen people running down a two-lane highway with a sign and a 12-pack of beer," he said, but added those folks weren't demons.

West of Casper on Goose Egg Road, no soil-digging scientists could be found, but Ken and Shawn Tescher from "T&T Drilling " were digging down 500 feet for water Wednesday.

"We've been out here since early this morning and there's been no demons here," Ken said.

"There was a well that was giving us terrible fits," Shawn said, admitting it is possible -- though not likely -- the trouble was due to demonic activity.

He pointed to a guardian angel statue found recently and said the men kept it on their truck for good luck.

"We dug and found a cavern over there," Ken added, pointing northeast, but he said the only thing that came out of that well was water.

Closer to the city limits, at Paradise Liquors and Lounge, bartender/saleswoman Amy O'Brien said she had not heard of any demons purchasing 12-packs of beer, or any alcohol for that matter, although she did say she's seen some "weird ones" come in.

The story did not state what kind of beer the demon was toting, but O'Brien speculated that demons probably drink an expensive import.

 

Personally think the later paramutation of the story, centered in Casper instead of Finland, is more believable.

Walking down a 2-land road with a six pack? Hello? This is real, I tell you!

 

Beer is the devil's brew, for certain sure. It all came up out of the pit in the beginning!

rsr - Flip Wilson (the comedian) had the answer for you. "The devil made me do it."