Did I read that sign right?

Discussion in 'All Other Discussions' started by Revmitchell, Feb 6, 2013.

  1. Revmitchell

    Revmitchell
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    Did I read that sign right?
    "TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW"



    In a Laundromat:
    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


    In a London department store:
    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


    In an office:
    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


    In an office:
    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


    Outside a secondhand shop:
    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


    Notice in health food shop window:
    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS



    Spotted in a safari park:
    ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR



    Seen during a conference:
    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR



    Notice in a farmer's field:
    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.



    Message on a leaflet:
    IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS



    On a repair shop door:
    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)



    Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
    This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.



    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    Really? Ya think?



    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!



    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!



    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!



    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!



    War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!



    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    Ya think?!



    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!



    Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!



    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?



    Man Struck By Lightning:Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!



    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!



    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!



    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Do they taste like chicken?



    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!



    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!



    And the winner is....
    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Did I read that right?
     
  2. Salty

    Salty
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    You must have laughed really hard when your wife told you these jokes!
     
  3. InTheLight

    InTheLight
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    ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES


    MARIJUANA ISSUE SENT TO JOINT COMMITTEE


    CITY UNSURE WHY SEWER SMELLS


    MEETING ON OPEN MEETINGS IS CLOSED


    RALLY AGAINST APATHY DRAWS SMALL CROWD


    NUDISTS FIGHT ERECTIONS OF TOWERS AT LOCAL BEACH


    PRINCESS DI WAS STILL ALIVE HOURS BEFORE SHE DIED


    THE BRA CELEBRATES A PAIR OF HISTORIC MILESTONES THIS YEAR


    PARENTS KEEP KIDS HOME TO PROTEST SCHOOL CLOSURE


    FEDERAL AGENTS RAID GUN SHOP, FIND WEAPONS


    MAN ACCUSED OF KILLING LAWYER RECEIVES NEW ATTORNEY


    17 REMAIN DEAD IN MORGUE SHOOTING SPREE


    ILLITERACY AN OBSTABLE, STUDY FINDS


    HOMICIDE VICTIMS RARELY TALK TO POLICE


    NEW SICK POLICY REQUIRES TWO DAY NOTICE


    MAN WITH 8 DUI'S BLAMES DRINKING PROBLEM



    [​IMG]
     
    #3 InTheLight, Feb 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2013
  4. Melanie

    Melanie
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    A common one I see, and I think amusing

    Door Alarmed..........the world is a crazy place.:smilewinkgrin:
     
  5. Crabtownboy

    Crabtownboy
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    I am always amused when I see a sign posted that says:

    No Smoking Room

    I surely hope no room is smoking ... after all in where there is smoke in a room there is fire and I'd rather not be in a fire.
     

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