DIvorce question...

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by C.R. Gordon, May 10, 2004.

  1. C.R. Gordon

    C.R. Gordon
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    should our churches be encouraging "divorced" people to seek out another mate?


    Matthew 19:9
    And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

    Your thoughts on this verse.
     
  2. Johnv

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    If the divorce was for a biblically allowable circumstance, generally being adultery or abandonment (which would include forms of abuse, btw), and the person has healed and gotten to the point where he/she can forgive the other in his/jer heart, then I refer to Paul who said that, while it is good to be single, a person who desires to be in a sexual relationship should seek to marry. I am such a person. I've been divorced from my spouse (whom I caught in the very act of adultery) for nearly 5 years. I have long since moved on, and have the desire to be in a committed spousal relationship. I've been dating someone for nearly a year, and we would eventually like to marry.
     
  3. Pastor Larry

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    There are a number of factors in the question that you have not indicated. For instance, the reason for the divorce, the length of time, one's salvation at the time of divorce, the possibility of reconciliation, etc.

    Without knowing these, it is impossible to give a complete answer.

    The Bible is clear that divorce and remarriage are permissable in the cases of adultery and desertion. Whether there are additional cases is a matter of scriptural understanding of the reasons those two exceptions are given.
     
  4. Calvin12

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    Questions:
    1. So some of you believe that abuse is grounds for divorce? I sure do - how more unfaithful to the concept of marriage can you get then to be abusing the one you should love the most.
    2. What about if someone was married - they both were Christian, and they got divorced, there was not adultury abandonment or abuse - in this case we should discouage people from remarriage? What if the person still wants sex? I know somebody like that and I somewhat feel that I should discourage him from remarrying but it is hard - I just don't have the heart to tell him.
     
  5. gb93433

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    Matthew 5:31, 31, "It was said, `Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce'; 32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for [the] reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

    Deut. 24:1-4, "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.”

    Matthew 19:7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?" He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery ."

    The purpose of a bill of divorcement was so that the wife was free to remarry. Without that the husband could have left or kicked his wife out on her own without a way to make a living or bring in an income. If he gave her no bill of divorcement then he could essentially hold her hostage and prevented her from remarrying. Moses commanded him to give the wife a bill of divorcement which freed her so she could remarry.

    Adultery is more than sexual misconduct. In scripture, especially the OT, adultery is also leaving God perfect plan. In James he calls his readers adulteresses. They left God's plan for them to live a holy life. Generally adultery is any deviation from God's plan for us.

    Jer. 3:8, "And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went and was a harlot also."

    When a man divorces his wife he causes her to deviate from God's perfect plan.
     
  6. Ronald

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    The bible clearly teaches that marriage should be a sacred joining between two people, preferably Christians. When Jesus spoke in the gospels he was referring to the "law of Moses". Under the law, if two Jews wanted a divorce they could get a divorce decree from their Jewish leaders. But Jesus said this wasn't the intended way it was meant to be. Marriage between two people was suppose to be a lifetime commitment, until one party dies.

    Now Paul instructed GENTILE Christians who were NOT under the law, in a more flexible rule. The Christian wife should stay with her husband as long as possible, but if the non Christian husband leaves her, then she is permitted to divorce and remarry, but ONLY remarry "in the Lord".

    The times we live in is "anything goes" and divorces are easy to obtain. IF a person before they became a Christian was married several times, then they cannot be held accountable for their PRE Christian life. It is only after they become a Christian or get saved that they must remain faithful.

    But sadly, even Christians are getting divorced at just as high of rate as non Christians.But that does not mean this is OK with God. No, because once BOTH people become Christians they fall under the law of Christ and so should not seek a divorce period.
     
  7. Daniel David

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    No divorce, no remarriage. Anything short of that fails to address what Christ actually said. You don't have to play situational ethics either.
     
  8. Lorelei

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    This verse was addressing widows and people who were divorced. Virgins would not have a problem "burning" with passion because they have not yet experienced it to realize what it even was. In fact, he addresses virgins separately.

    So the command to remarry rather than burn with passion had to be to people who were divorced as well as widows. He then says this:

    So it is not a sin for "unmarried" people, widows, and virgins to marry (or marry again).

    Should we "encourage" them to seek out a mate? No. Paul recommended you stay as you were. However, if they are having a trouble controlling their passion or seriously desire to have a mate, then it is better for them to marry then to burn with that desire.

    ~Lorelei
     
  9. C.R. Gordon

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    I agree 100%. I just wanted to see what everyone else thought.
    thanks!
     
  10. C.R. Gordon

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    I think there are grounds for divorce on your first point, but on # 2 that is where "adultery" comes into play.

    There are just a few reasons someone should get divorced. and "just not getting along" is not one of them.
     
  11. JAY WILL

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    I agree 100% too what everyone has said and what the bible says about divorce but i have too go one step farther i beleive that when it comes too marriage i beleive that GOD holds everyone accountable no matter if your a christian or not.
     
  12. luvnlife33

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    Okay now I am confused.... My husband left when our youngest was 6 weeks old and we divorced shortly after. I was not a Christian and neither was he. He cheated and abandoned us. Now 7 years later I am a Christian and my new husband is a Christian so we are wrong??
     
  13. Johnv

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    Nope. You're just fine.
     
  14. Frogman

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    The question may have already been asked, if so forgive me, but where is the Bible found to clearly teach remarriage (of a different spouse) is permissable? I have never been able to find it and am not asking except to maybe help me to understand this question better.

    Bro. Dallas
     
  15. Bartimaeus

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  16. gb93433

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    The short answer is "No." Serve God faithfully together.

    The scripture does not apply to non-believers.

    Anything that deviates from God's perfect plan is adultery. All sin deviates from what God wants.It is missing the mark.

    For believers scripture gives provision in certain cases to divorce. In the case of divorce remarriage is implied.

    If both of you were believers and your husband deserted you, you are free to marry or not marry.
     
  17. gb93433

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  18. Pastor Larry

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    Both Matthew 19 and 1 Cor 7, as well as the general principle of grace and forgiveness with respect to marriage.
     
  19. Daniel David

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    You WERE wrong, but not presently. It was sinful to remarry when you spouse was still alive. However, once you do remarry, you are to stay that way.

    This discussion always turns sour I am afraid.
     
  20. Johnv

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    That's incorrect. Her spouse committed adultery AND abandonment, biblical reasons for divorce. Once divorced, he was no longer her spouse. There was no marital covenant. None.

    Paul says unmarried people who desire should marry. This does not exclude divorced persons.

    I find it hypocritical that some Baptists here have a problem with the Catholic Church's instructions on priests remaining single, yet they have no problem requiring a divorced person to remain single. Whassupwiddat???
     

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