Today I listened to a sermon about losing your salvation which scared me. The pastor made it look like when you're born again then you automatically love going to church and having fellowship with christians and you are totally keen on going to church and you make it your top priority and you also love worshipping. Does it always have to be this way? Because I'm not so keen on going to church and I also don't like singing because I cannot sing and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Does this mean that something is wrong? Does a christian when he gets born again automatically get a supernatural joy which makes him so happy that he can sing and worship and be happy all the time? I don't have this. It's very rare that I have a day where I am happy, but that's another story. But maybe I should be happy. I mean I should be happy when I think about being saved, right? But the thing is that these things are so hard to grasp in my mind. I mean when I think about heaven then heaven seems so far away that I cannot really rejoice and look forward to it. All I see is here and now and how I will get along in life. These things kind of rob my joy. Does this mean that I belong to the bad ground where the seeds fell on and something grew but then thorns also grew among the seeds and it didn't work? Do you first of all have to secure your salvation somehow by showing God that you're really serious about it? Does this mean that those people which belong to the bad ground also were born again but then either fell off or weren't able to lead a victorious life? But somehow I cannot really rejoice, it doesn't work. When I try to rejoice and focus totally on Jesus then I become scared of somehow losing him or losing my faith and getting lost. But if I on the other hand cut it back a bit and focus more on other things in life then Jesus isn't the number one anymore and this is also noot good but if I focus on Jesus 100% and think about Jesus, the bible and my faith all day then it doesn't take long and I feel totally miserable again.