Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by Joseph_Botwinick, Apr 9, 2002.
I would like to hear from those of you who are parents and what you do and why.
We homeschool, not because we have had any particularly bad experiences in PS, but because we feel a Christian education is best for children raised in a Christian home. I wouldn't mind a Christian school, but they are extremely expensive, especially when you have more than one or two children (we have five). Plus, there is not one in our area that I am sure I would be comfortable sending our children to.
My children went through their entire careers in public schools. Luckily, we're just through with that.
If I had it to do over again, I would do something different. Dealing with the bureaucracy can be mind, and spirit, numbing.
We home schooled one from 5th grade on. He never took a test after leaving 5th grade. We didn't see the point anymore, as tests show the results of the quality of the teacher not the student. We knew when he understood something or not. The next test he took was for the SAT's at age 18. He made a 1250 first time through and aced the Universities placement tests in the 90 percentile.
We did have him tutored in the higher math and a SAT prep class. This we did at Sylvan Learning center. At age 16 he was reading at a 26 year old level. That is far in excess of what we thought we taught him, he did so much on his own also (common for long term homeschoolers).
The other elected to go to public school. He didn't do quite as well academically as the homeschooler, but he has a higher work ethic and can accept structure better. I think homeschooling will bring out leadership qualities and formal school tones these qualities down... quite a bit. Of course, not in every situation.
We had three children in public school, all three did very well. We live in a small town, and about a quarter of the teachers attend church with us. The other forth attended church also, but just not the Baptist. They are very dedicated teachers, that came early and stayed late for any child. Our academic team won state in 2000 and in many matches beat out much larger schools. They offered many sports and band. The football team also won state in one son's senior year, and the band won state in our other son's senior year, he was the drum major. Our daughter is now a wife/mommy, one son is a LCPL in the Marines, and one son is in college, a triple major, music education, music composition and saxophone/piano, he carries a 4.0 GPA and will graduate magna cum laude in 2003. Some public schools are very good, I'm very pleased with our public school.
I plan on homeschooling all my children at least through the 6th grade. I myself have been through home, private, and public schooling and believe that home is the best. I've studied way too much about the failures of public education and I've witnessed way too many shortcomings to put my children through that gauntlet without some initial preparation.
Education is an area of special interest to me and I don't believe MOST (not all) public schools cater to individual's needs. The curriculum is watered down and the standardized testing is practically useless.
I could go on forever about this, but I'll spare everyone.
My oldest daughter (she's 6) is rapidly finishing Kindergarten in a private Christian school this year. She is on the honor roll and is very happy. I have, however, decided I will homeschool her next year. It's something I've thought about alot over the past 3 years. So, I'm going for it!
As far as public school, I can only go by my own experience. I have found that I am much smarter than I was when I was in school. I'm even a little resentful that I wasn't pressed a bit further to excel more. Sure, you can blame the parents and yes, some of the responsibility ABSOLUTELY lies there, but what responsibility of the school system? None? They had me ALL DAY 5 days a week and they saw my potential and did nothing to encourage it. I don't want that type of environment for my children.
I love teachers...but I will say that I only had one who even acted like he remotely cared about the kids and I didn't meet him until the first day of my senior year in high school...pretty sad. I'm not knocking teachers, there are some very brilliant teachers out there who care, the problem is that they are few and far between.
I will be a loving, encouraging, firm and disciplined teacher to my children and I'm up for the challenge! Pray for the homeschoolers!
My daughter starts kindergarten in the fall. We just finished building a home school room in our basement and we are still working on the family room down there! I'm planning on ordering her curriculum the end of the week!
The public schools in our town are seriously lacking. ( I used to teach kindergarten in a neighboring town.) The closest Baptist/Christian school is over 45 min. away, and wouldn't be practical to drive to for half-day kindergarten, especially in Wisconsin winters! I'm not sure how long I will do it, but finances will determine some of that. Since I have an education background, I can draw on that as I go!
The other upside to homeschooling is that it can be done in about 3 hours a day. When you think about it, that is about the same study time a public school kid gets spead out over the entire day. (Homework not included)
This give you the ability to spend time with your children as they grow up.
My wife and I decided to homeschool our 6 children for a number of reasons, first our local schools are not receptive to anything that has to do with good family values. 2) Having attended the same school my children would have attended, I was fully aware of the lack of concern over education by the staff. 3) One of my children has a speech problem and requires more attention to be understood, not something that our local school is strong in. The typical response is to get special education monies from the state to fatten the budget rather than help the child. 4) I worked for another school district and it opened my eyes as far as what these people will do to get thier way. (dispite public, school board or parental opinion} I would never entrust my children to these people. Sorry to any christian educators if I offended you but overall public schools are not a good environment for children.
I plan to send my son child to public school. I don't think he would get enough social action staying at home, in fact I know he wouldn't. I think going to public will do him some good.
I think your choice is fine,but from one christian mom to another,I would like for you to consider that children learn how to soialize better at home with a family and learning their values,so that they know how to walk in God's ways later. There is no eveidence that children being with other 6 year olds teaches them to socilize better than homeschooled,actually what has been found ,is just the opposite happens. The negative socialization tends to affect children more than just learning how to wait in line,not push and shove,etc. Would you rahter have them taught by 25 other 6 year olds or by you? They will learn more from their peers than even a good teacher. I'm not opposed to public educ,in fact both of my children have been in PS for the last 4 years(the oldest),but we have made a choice to homeschool next year. It is not for everyone,but I just wanted you to consider what you are saying. There is some *good* socialization that can go on in schools,I just wander how beneficial all of it is. My children are very social and iin a lot of sprots,dance,music classes...socilaization will not be an issue with us,but removing them from negative socialization sure does ease my mind!
to each their own but in my opinion, school shouldn't be the place for socialization anyway. Most other countries send their kids to school where they learn in a strictly academic environment. That is what school is for.
When I was homeschooled, my mom put us into all kinds of community and church activities. I played volleyball, basketball, and track through the community leagues. I was in Campfire. I played with the neighbors when they got home from school. I was socialized just fine.
When I attended public school, I grew rather disgusted with the lack of focus on curriculum. We had pep assemblies and voted for homecoming court and got long breaks to eat and socialize and there were distractions left and right. 5 minutes of class time was wasted getting ourselves settled into our desks, then we would watch 10 minutes of morning announcements, then the last 5 minutes were wasted with us packing up and getting ready to leave. That's 20 wasted minutes out of a 50 minute class. School bells dictated when we could begin learning and when to end it. I have a whole report I wrote on the ineffectiveness of public schools. Anyway, some are sincerely trying to reform and for that I'm glad... not all are bad or evil... I just wouldn't subject my children to that environment without preparation and some real learning.
That's my 2 cents.
Molly thanks, actually I was pressured into placing my child in daycare for the reasons of him being able to act socially and I flat out refused to send him out. Now when I watch him with other children, I noticed he doesn't know how to act, he's not equipt in knowing how to handle situations with other children but looks at me for help instead of being able to figure it out. He's the only child and it's actually harming him to not have him in an outside education.
We have some friends who have had their children in homeschool all their lives and they are the most immature kids we've seen. They have little to no social skills and compared to other kids their age, they would have a very hard time being able to know where they fit in a public school setting at this point in the game. Not that they should be pressured to be in the "in" crowd, but fitting in with other kids is very important to any teen or younger child and if adults would admit it..to them too.
Now I know not every homeschooled kid has this problem, I do know other kids who are homeschooled and are very healthy socially speaking, however I feel it depends on the kid and what I now see in my child I really believe he desperately needs that interaction with other kids his age and honestly I am no where close to having the patience to teach him at home, especially since I'm going to get a job in about a week now.
I must concur with the socialization myth. Don't let anyone pull the wool over your eyes with that one. Children who are taught in their home how to be kind one to another, how to obey, how to give respect to elders, and how to be joyful and not grumpy are the ones who are "socialized." Socialized is not the amount of time children spend with other children. They definitely don't learn these socializing skills from other children!
When someone uses the old argument that there is no socialization with homeschool, tell them that there is a difference between having those specific social skills that are Biblical, and playing with peers! Many homeschoolers get both!
"Don't give up the ship, Moms!"
[ April 16, 2002, 08:47 PM: Message edited by: Joy ]
Hmm I have to disagree with this idea. I do believe good socialization skills also include a child's ability to handle problems with friends and peer pressure as well as actions around them. As I said before, not every kid is cut out for public school or homeschool but after watching my own child attempt to interact with other kids his age I'm not even slightly convinced that homeschooling him will be in his best interest. He is in desperate need of contact with kids his own age.
The "socialization" argument is a crock. Sorry, Karen, that's not meant to be a slam; it's an evaluation of a commonly used argument against homeschooling.
Why? What socialization skill(s) are your children not developing?
a) learning how to use foul language at an early age
b) sharing dad's "private" magazines with all your friends
c) peer pressure involving drugs
d) underage drinking
e) teenage pregnancies
f) why you should be a member of a gang at age 9 (or earlier)
g) why you should carry a real gun or knife at age 10
Want to teach your kids to socialize? Then take 'em out and let them socialize. And I don't care what group they're playing with--church group, playground group, satanic cult group--when you tell your child they can no longer play with those kids, explain why, and explain why you made that choice, and if it's for a biblical reason, explain the biblical reasoning. In other words, teach them to gracefully remove themselves from situations that are not good for them.
If you throw your kid to the wolves, it's not going to teach him/her how to get along with the wolves; it's going to teach them how to become a wolf.
Don't confuse spending time with peers for possessing social skills!
Again, social skills involve respect for others and God - being kind, manners, truthfulness, obedience, joyfulness, respect for parents and elders. These are character traits that we are told as parents to teach to our children 24/7, so that when they become adults, they will be ready to live socially in in the world, but not be of it.
Ephesians 4:32, 6:1, Colosians, 3:9&20 Leviticus 19:3, I Thessalonians 5:16, Lev. 19:32, Proverbs 4:1, Deauteronomy 6:6-9
When Israel was conquering the land, they were forbidden to socialize with the enemy. They were not to mingle with them, they were not to give their children to them in marriage. The reason for that was to keep them pure from the ungodly philosophy and religions that came with them.
The same principle is applied to the church in the New Testament. We are to come out from among them and be separate. We are to have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness. We are not to sit in the seat of the scornful or take counsel from the ungodly.
"Socializing" will teach your child, but what kind of society do you want you child to be socialized in? If we abdicate our responsiblities as parents and give it over to a school, you can be sure your children will not learn the Biblical social skills. This is just as true with Christian schools as well. Children left to themselves remain foolish and bring their parents to shame.
No, children do not learn Biblical respect and obedience from other children, or from teachers, they learn it from their parents.
The whole socialization argument (peer pressure, handle bully's, etc) can be summed up in one statement.
"If you aren't going to prison, you don't need to learn how to survive in prison."
As an adult (not in public school) how many times have you been offered drugs, all night drinking parties, had someone steal your lunch money, been threatened to be beat up?
With your argument, one should assume that women who get into marriages where they are beat, or bullied, did not learn how to handle the situation like every school attendee does. Every kid that does drugs must not have gone to public school.
Maybe a better definition of socializing and peer pressure is in order since I can’t think of any that that are positive that are learned in school but rather at home and taken to school to survive the ordeal of peer pressure, bullies, misunderstandings, etc.
I don't believe for one moment that I am jumping ship on my responsibilities as a parent to send my child to school. I actually want my child to adapt to other children and learn how to properly respect other kids his age. throwing him to the wolves? I think not, I'm doing my duties as a parent when I see something lacking in his life to place him in an area for him to continue to grow.
I don't want to shield him from kids who believe differently, I want him to interact with them and I want him to become a young man of integrity. You don't have to be stuck at home to achieve ultimate godliness and respect, you can be taught that at home, it's not the schools responsibility anyway...I'm teaching him all that here and then I want him to interact and face issues and situations in school.
When we take him to the park he eats up every minute of making new friends, he is so much in need of other children to play with and interact with that I've been convicted of depriving him of this...so that's my reasoning for placing him in school and I really feel it's the best choice for him.