What is a christian supposed to do when he notices that somehow he is getting farer away from God and that everything suddenly seems so distant and intangible and strange and he loses the acquisition? What would you do in such a situation? Is it then the duty of the christian to start "doing something" and to make sure that he doesn't slide back? Or is this God's duty? I mean does a christian have to make sure that he doesn't slide back? Wouldn't this mean that staying saved depends on us and not on God? Somehow I feel pretty distant to God, most likely also due to spending very little time with him. Somehow I just don't get it done to set aside time for him. Also when I have stuff to do then it distracts me and it keeps my mind busy and doesn't allow me to simply dissociate from it and to make room for God because when my mind is filled with problems then it's hard to simply forget about this stuff and then to spend time with God. But in order to talk to God I need concentration and everything which distracts me disturbs me. Sometimes even the noise of a clock distracts me. And somehow I don't even know anymore what to say to God. It's so frustrating because I don't know what to say or what to do. It's so unfulfilling when you talk to God and it's always the same like talking against a wall. Or when you simply get no sense of achievement then you also become frustrated. I have prayed about things so often and I simply see no change. What am I supposed to think about this? This makes me feel like something's wrong with me. I mean this isn't easy. On the one hand I'm supposed to believe that I'm born again and a new creation but on the other hand I don't see much evidence of this. I still get angry and hostile just like before, the only difference is that I now feel guilty for getting angry and hostile, this is the only difference. And I have prayed about it and reported all these things to God but when you report these things to God every day and say. "God, this isn't okay and this also isn't okay and I need to change this and that and this and that...." and nothing changes then you also ask yourself why that is. Shouldn't God be totally keen on answering such prayers? Then why do I still get angry and hostile? I bet other christians do not have these problems, at least I cannot imagine that many christians out there get hostile like me. And these things again open doors for doubts because when you don't see drastic changes then you can also start to question everything. Then you can question wether you're even born again when you still have all these old problems. Somehow this really is like walking in quicksand. But maybe God doesn't even have the chance to change me because I'm not in the right environment? Maybe he can't even do anything. But then again I ask myself why didn't God put me somewhere else? When I imagine living somewhere else and having a nice church and a nice pastor then I could be totally flourishing but instead I'm tripping on the spot. And something which I also don't know is what God demands from me. I don't even know if I pray correctly. When I pray and try to change myself then maybe this is also totally wrong because how am I supposed to change myself? But on the other hand I also don't know if it's correct to simply leave everything to God and until God does something I'll simply go on and get angry and simply totally rely on God to miraculously turn me into a new person. I just don't know what's my part and what's God's part.