Wonder Drug Inspires Deep, Unwavering Love Of Pharmaceutical Companies March 6, 2006 | Issue 42•10 NEW YORK—The Food and Drug Administration today approved the sale of the drug PharmAmorin, a prescription tablet developed by Pfizer to treat chronic distrust of large prescription-drug manufacturers. Pfizer executives characterized the FDA's approval as a "godsend" for sufferers of independent-thinking-related mental-health disorders. PharmAmorin, now relieving distrust of large pharmaceutical conglomerates in pharmacies nationwide. "Many individuals today lack the deep, abiding affection for drug makers that is found in healthy people, such as myself," Pfizer CEO Hank McKinnell said. "These tragic disorders are reaching epidemic levels, and as a company dedicated to promoting the health, well-being, and long life of our company's public image, it was imperative that we did something to combat them." Although many psychotropic drugs impart a generalized feeling of well-being, PharmAmorin is the first to induce and focus intense feelings of affection externally, toward for-profit drug makers. Pfizer representatives say that, if taken regularly, PharmAmorin can increase affection for and trust in its developers by as much as 96.5 percent. "Out of a test group of 180, 172 study participants reported a dramatic rise in their passion for pharmaceutical companies," said Pfizer director of clinical research Suzanne Frost. "And 167 asked their doctors about a variety of prescription medications they had seen on TV." Frost said a small percentage of test subjects showed an interest in becoming lobbyists for one of the top five pharmaceutical companies, and several browsed eBay for drug-company apparel. PharmAmorin, available in 100-, 200-, and 400-mg tablets, is classified as a critical-thinking inhibitor, a family of drugs that holds great promise for the estimated 20 million Americans who suffer from Free-Thinking Disorder. Pfizer will also promote PharmAmorin in an aggressive, $34.6 million print and televised ad campaign. One TV ad, set to debut during next Sunday's 60 Minutes telecast, shows a woman relaxing in her living room and reading a newspaper headlined "Newest Drug Company Scandal Undermines Public Trust." The camera zooms into the tangled neural matter of her brain, revealing a sticky black substance and a purplish gas. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46032 Free Thinking Disorder??????? Caused by a "chemical imbalance"??????? They can't be serious--can they? Do we trust the DSM-IV or do we trust God? We are becoming a nation of "mindless" zombies!