Paul, in his list of qualifications/character traits of an elder/pastor "camped out" on the issue of family. The elder must preside/lead his own children correctly and honestly, for if a man can't do this in his house, how can he do it in the house of God. Paul gives as "bookends" to this extensive list that the elder must be without reproach from those in the church and of high reputatioh from the surrounding community. I reminded my children that I would be disqualified from ministry and would resign immediately if this became an issue in my family. And I meant it. I hold the calling as servant-leader very highly. But at WHAT POINT does this end? This is not personal (no problems with my three) but trying to help a dear brother. If the child leaves home, is the elder then "done" and what the young adult does it is not a reflection on the elder? What about if they are married and establish their own home? WHEN does the parent's responsibility and/or blame in the church or community around them end? Open for any input.