Elephant Jokes

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010.

  1. baptistteacher

    baptistteacher
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    Some of my favorite jokes have always been Elephant Jokes.

    How can you tell when an elephant is under your bed?

    Your nose is squashed against the ceiling.
     
  2. baptistteacher

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    How do you get down off an elephant?

    You don't, you get down off of a goose.

    How does an elephant get down from a tree?
    He doesn’t! Even elephants know you get down from a goose!

    Oh, all right. How do elephants get out of trees?
    They float down on the leaves between 4pm and 6pm.
     
    #2 baptistteacher, Apr 24, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2010
  3. baptistteacher

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    Who is the most famous male singing elephant?
    Harry Elephante.
    ---
    Who is the most famous female singing elephant?
    Elephants Gerald.
     
  4. baptistteacher

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    Q: How is an elephant like an apricot?
    A: They are both gray. Well, except the apricot.


    Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in the refrigerator?
    A: The door won’t shut.


    Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator earlier?
    A: Footprints in the butter.


    Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge in the first place?
    A: Open door; Insert elephant; Close door.


    Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
    A: Open door; Remove elephant; Insert giraffe; Close door.


    Q: What’s the difference between a dozen eggs and an elephant?
    A: If you don’t know, I’m sure not going to send you to the store for a dozen eggs!


    Q: What the difference between a herd of elephants and a bunch of grapes?
    A: Grapes are purple, elephants are gray.
     
  5. kyredneck

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    Why did the elephant paint it's toenails red, yellow, and green?

    So it could hide in a pack of M & Ms.
     
  6. baptistteacher

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    Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

    So he could hide in a cherry tree.

    Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? >> Works pretty good, doesn't it?
    ]

    [You can substitute "strawberry patch" for "cherry tree".
     
  7. Scarlett O.

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    Why didn't anyone ask the elephant to dance at the prom?
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    Because he isn't very light on his feet!! [​IMG]
     
  8. Cutter

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    Some of these elephant jokes are stupid and don't make much sense. :sleeping_2:
     
  9. Jon-Marc

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    Actually, they don't make ANY sense. Maybe I just lack a sense of humor. I also don't find any of the "humor" on TV funny either. We've lost the old-time great comedians--my favorite being Red Skelton.
     
  10. Salty

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    Uh, Cutter, you forgot the punch line. :type:
     
  11. Scarlett O.

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    An elephant joke isn't supposed to make sense nor actually be all that funny. That's what an elephant joke is.
     
  12. Gwen

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    I thought this was going to be a joke thread about Republicans. Haha.
     
  13. Salty

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    Are you saying that Republicans do not remember their campaign promises?
     
  14. Jon-Marc

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    I guess I'm misunderstanding what a joke is. I thought a joke was supposed to be funny. My mistake. :BangHead:
     
  15. ccrobinson

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    I've got a nickel's worth of free advice to you people who come and post this sort of nonsense. If you don't like the topic, don't post. How hard is it not to post?

    This is the same kind of nonsense I see in the sports threads. For example, in Nascar threads, people will come and post about how much they hate Nascar or think it's stupid or some other such nonsense. If you don't like something like Nascar, or elephant jokes, why are you trying to bring everybody else down with silly posts like "This is so stupid"?

    Besides, elephant jokes are stupid only to people who have no sense of humor.

    Sorry for derailing a thread further, but it's very annoying to see this sort of nonsense.
     
    #15 ccrobinson, May 9, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2010
  16. Salty

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    It is even harder than an elephant trying to find the fifth wheel on a M-151 - (aka jeep)
     
  17. SaggyWoman

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    I thought they were hilarious and made a lot of sense.

    There were two elephants sliding down a slide. The first one said Whee, I am an elephant. The second one said, Whee, I am a typewriter.
     
  18. Cutter

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    You would. :laugh:
     
  19. Cutter

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    I understand why you say that your advice is only worth a nickel. :rolleyes:
     
  20. baptistteacher

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    OK, back to business.

    Q: Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkled?

    A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirins.


    Q: Why did the elephant wear dark sunglasses?

    A: So he wouldn't be recognized.


    Q: What did Tarzan say when the elephant came up over the hill?

    A: Nothing. He didn't recognize the elephant because he was wearing dark sunglasses.
     

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