ESV ONLY

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by Phillip, Oct 21, 2004.

  1. Phillip

    Phillip
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    After at least thirty minutes of intense study and concentration, I have come to a conclusion after intense meditation that I am an "ESV ONLY".

    Just so you other people who don't believe me, I can prove it because it says in Psalms 12:6 "The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times." You can't argue with that, so don't go and say that I don't have the REAL DEAL.

    "You, O Lord, will keep them; you will guard us from this generation forever." (He's referring to us ESV Onlies. Gotta be, because that is what it says.) Can't you guys read?"

    This all started when I was reading my ESV and felt a warm feeling in the bossom. I realized this right after I jumped up and I shoved my little Maltese Terrier to the floor.

    When I laid an ESV and NIV on the floor, Teddy (the terrier) would go to the ESV every single time. Proof that even an animal knows the real deal.

    I enjoy reading it so much that I love to read it so much that I often eat a McDonald's burger while studying it. (I'm a sloppy eater, so my wife wipes the pages off when the meat falls out of my bun.) She's so wonderful.

    In doing research, I also found that the ESV that I have has only about fifty percent of the verses changed from the perfect RSV, so I can't be wrong. No change whatsoever, just minor corrections.

    Being the RSV was one of the earlier translations, of modern English, it must be correct, so therefore the ESV is a 100% accurate translation since it is within 50% accurate as the RSV. (Of course, those differences are only typos in the original RSV.)

    Its translators are all perfect (as humans can be). Of course they might have gotten a little worse, but not until the translation was complete.

    I just can't figure out why it wasn't printed with the apocrypha, stuck back there with the maps and concordances, since that seems to be so important.

    Now, if anybody has an argument against my point of view, then go for it. (I may not answer the ones I can't, but I will certainly try to get you dizzy.)

    Go for it, you heathens!!!!!! :D


    Note: For those of you who cannot take a joke, this is a parody and I think it is about time that we had a good laugh after all the seriousness posted here. I don't think God has a problem with us using our sense of humor now and then. Notice that I did NOT refer to the Holy Spirit, because although He speaks through the ESV to me, I am not going to cross that barrier. This is intended for amusement only.

    But, I still dare anybody to prove me wrong! [​IMG] :eek: [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  2. rsr

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    I like the ESV, which seems to be literal yet not wooden. (I used the NASB for many, many years and finally decided that the ESV was a worthy replacement.) Of course, I also like the NET (can't beat those notes) and the Phillips NT.
     
  3. GeneMBridges

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    No, Phillip you are very wrong. How dare you post such blasphemy. I am NASB only. These are the Scriptures that prove it:

    When Adam had lived one hundred and thirty years, he [2] became the father of a son in his own likeness, according to his image, and named him Seth.
    4 Then the days of Adam after he became the father of Seth were eight hundred years, and he had other sons and daughters.
    5 So all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years, and he died.
    6 Seth lived one hundred and five years, and became the father of Enosh.
    7 Then Seth lived eight hundred and seven years after he became the father of Enosh, and he had other sons and daughters.
    8 So all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years, and he died.
    9 Enosh lived ninety years, and became the father of Kenan.
    10 Then Enosh lived eight hundred and fifteen years after he became the father of Kenan, and he had other sons and daughters.
    11 So all the days of Enosh were nine hundred and five years, and he died.
    12 Kenan lived seventy years, and became the father of Mahalalel.
    13 Then Kenan lived eight hundred and forty years after he became the father of Mahalalel, and he had other sons and daughters.
    14 So all the days of Kenan were nine hundred and ten years, and he died.
    15 Mahalalel lived sixty-five years, and became the father of Jared.
    16 Then Mahalalel lived eight hundred and thirty years after he became the father of Jared, and he had other sons and daughters.
    17 So all the days of Mahalalel were eight hundred and ninety-five years, and he died.
    18 Jared lived one hundred and sixty-two years, and became the father of Enoch.
    19 Then Jared lived eight hundred years after he became the father of Enoch, and he had other sons and daughters.
    20 So all the days of Jared were nine hundred and sixty-two years, and he died.
    21 Enoch lived sixty-five years, and became the father of Methuselah.
    22 Then Enoch (4) walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters.
    23 So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years.
    24 (5) Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God (6) took him.
    25 Methuselah lived one hundred and eighty-seven years, and became the father of Lamech.
    26 Then Methuselah lived seven hundred and eighty-two years after he became the father of Lamech, and he had other sons and daughters.
    27 So all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred and sixty-nine years, and he died.
    28 Lamech lived one hundred and eighty-two years, and became the father of a son.
    29 Now he called his name Noah, saying, "This one will give us rest from our work and from the toil of our hands arising from (7) the ground which the LORD has cursed."
    30 Then Lamech lived five hundred and ninety-five years after he became the father of Noah, and he had other sons and daughters.
    31 So all the days of Lamech were seven hundred and seventy-seven years, and he died.
    32 Noah was (8) five hundred years old, and Noah became the father of Shem, Ham, and Japheth.


    If you don't understand from these Scriptures and the many others that have been posted elsewhere, it is because you aren't listening to the warnings in these Scriptures and the truth and trusting in the opinions of men. Furthermore, you are using men's wisdom and listening to the wrong spirit! Through the above Scriptures you can see clearly that the NASB is God's preserved words according to God Himself for all English speaking peoples everywhere. I will not explain how God has shown me this, because if you can't see it plainly, there is no way you will understand if I tell you.
     
  4. rsr

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    If only you understand, you would understand, gb.

    "She

    Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
    For your love is better than wine; your anointing oils are fragrant; your name is oil poured out; therefore virgins love you. Draw me after you; let us run.


    Others
    The king has brought me into his chambers. We will exult and rejoice in you; we will extol your love more than wine; rightly do they love you.

    She

    I am very dark, but lovely,
    O daughters of Jerusalem,
    like the tents of Kedar,
    like the curtains of Solomon.
    Do not gaze at me because I am dark,
    because the sun has looked upon me.

    My mother's sons were angry with me;
    they made me keeper of the vineyards,
    but my own vineyard I have not kept!
    Tell me, you whom my soul loves,
    where you pasture your flock,
    where you make it lie down at noon;
    for why should I be like one who veils herself
    beside the flocks of your companions?

    He

    If you do not know,
    O most beautiful among women,
    follow in the tracks of the flock,
    and pasture your young goats beside the shepherds' tents.
    I compare you, my love,
    to a mare among Pharaoh's chariots.
    Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments,
    your neck with strings of jewels.

    Others

    We will make for you ornaments of gold, studded with silver.

    She

    While the king was on his couch,
    my nard gave forth its fragrance.
    My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
    that lies between my breasts.
    My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    in the vineyards of Engedi.

    I think that should make it pretty clear, is to which is EVIDENT, as it is EVIDENT. Did I say EVIDENT?
     
  5. Craigbythesea

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    Blasphemy! Blasphemy! Blasphemy! :mad: :mad: :mad:

    The ESV is Satan’s tool for getting serious Bible students to quit reading the more literal NASB and read a less literal version. Satan knows that he can’t get serious Bible students to switch from the NASB to the GNB all at once, so he is using his deceit to get them to switch over to it through little, seemingly innocent and insignificant steps :eek: .

    :mad: :mad: :mad:

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Craigbythesea

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  7. mioque

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    U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! [​IMG]
     
  8. HankD

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    You are ALL WRONG and that IS EVIDENT!

    The LATIN VULGATE is written in the LANGUAGE OF HEAVEN and are the PURE words and have been for 1,600 years!!.

    Even the people in PURGATORY know this because the CHURCH of ROME has always believed IT.

    Tobias 2
    2 And when I saw abundance of meat, I said to my son, Go and bring what poor man soever thou shalt find out of our brethren, who is mindful of the Lord; and, lo, I tarry for thee.
    3 But he came again, and said, Father, one of our nation is strangled, and is cast out in the marketplace.
    4 Then before I had tasted of any meat, I started up, and took him up into a room until the going down of the sun.
    5 Then I returned, and washed myself, and ate my meat in heaviness,
    6 Remembering that prophecy of Amos, as he said, Your feasts shall be turned into mourning, and all your mirth into lamentation.

    Bel and the Dragon 1
    14 So when they were gone forth, the king set meats before Bel. Now Daniel had commanded his servants to bring ashes, and those they strewed throughout all the temple in the presence of the king alone: then went they out, and shut the door, and sealed it with the king's signet, and so departed.
    15 Now in the night came the priests with their wives and children, as they were wont to do, and did eat and drinck up all.
    16 In the morning betime the king arose, and Daniel with him.
    17And the king said, Daniel, are the seals whole? And he said, Yea, O king, they be whole.

    Sirach 3:19 Many are in high place, and of renown: but mysteries are revealed unto the meek.

    HankusDus
     
  9. Ben W

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    Hebrews 10:20 "This is the fresh new LIVING way".

    Looks like the Living Bible is it, repent and turn to the way my friends. [​IMG]
     
  10. ScottEmerson

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    I'm not sure what everyone is trying to say. Everyone knows that the only real word of God is Dr. Seuss "Horton Hatches the Egg."

    And the people came shouting,
    "What's this all about...?"
    They looked! And they stared
    with their eyes popping out!

    They shouted. "MY WORD!
    It's something brand new!
    IT'S AN ELEPHANT-BIRD!"
    And it should be, it should be,
    It SHOULD be like that!
    Because Horton was faithful!
    He sat and he sat!"

    We've got faithfulness. We've got "My Word." Let us all agree. It gets no more perfect than Dr. Seuss.


    (Only sarcasm, I am in agreement with the original poster.)
     
  11. Phillip

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    Gene, You just will not listen to reason. I don't know how many times I have told you. I cannot understand you people.

    I will tell you that I was once NASB only myself. But once you see the light, you will realize the ESV is the ONLY way to go. :eek:
     
  12. manchester

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    The Latin Vulgate seems like an obvious choice. God would preserve his Word in a dead language, and Latin is a dead language. Latin is easily understandable to most Americans, even to little children, if their hearts are right with God. At worst you might need to get a dictionary for some of the harder words.
     
  13. Deborah B.

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    Paaaaleeeezz people! Can't you read? We are all Christians right? Soooooo, the Holman Christian Standard Bible is the only bible for true Christians. It is the standard for Christians as the title so plainly proclaims. All other bibles are just "wannabe versions" that are based on appealing to geographic location (NASB), language spoken (ESV), monarchy (KJV), and internationality (NIV), just to name a few. They try, but they are not the "standard" for Christians! With the HCSB they FINALLY got it right! [​IMG]

    See, all along it has been right in front of our faces, on the cover. The name says it all!!! Stick with the standard people! :D

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  14. pastorjeff

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    Even the translators of the KJV knew this would be a problem some day, so they spelled it out very carefully ( through divine revelation of course)

    Proverbs 25:25
    As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is GOOD NEWS from a FAR COUNTRY

    obviously the far country is The USA and the translation that is the perfect Word of God is the Good News Bible. Even the KJVtranslators agree [​IMG]
     
  15. Phillip

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    Now, I will agree that the Latin Vulgate was perfect up until the ESV came along. But, the ESV has now surpassed the Vulgate in the ENGLISH language. But, yes, I can say the Vulgate traces ALLLLLL the way back to a "long time ago, in a far away place". Now, that I have my ESV, I don't need a Latin Dictionary.

    Now we have the Holman. (Stands for old man Holman who was probably a money grabbing old man who just sells Bibles to make money.)

    I don't yet know how to answer the "Good News Bible", but I'll figure out how scripture is being miquoted there. Just give me some time. :D [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  16. Phillip

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    Hey, least I forget. Dr. Bob says he is reading the ESV this year. Need I say more? ;)
     
  17. Dr. Bob

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    English versions? Racist, bigoted, think the world centers around the pathetic translations of YOUR language?

    While reading the ESV it has caused me to miss thebeauty and flow of the TRUE Word of God.

    Just read the beauty of the Vulgate, God's Word for 1600 years. No johnny (or jimmy) come lately can imitate it:

    He that hath ears to hear . . .
     
  18. Phillip

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    He that hath ears to hear . . . [/QUOTE]
    Uhhhh, Yeah, hang on I've got my old school Latin dictionary around here somewhere, just give me a chance to find it.......
     
  19. Phillip

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    Deborah, don't you see what you are doing? Can't you read what you just posted? Don't you understand what you just said?

    The Holman is the only bible for true Christians.

    Does this mean it is ONLY good for Christians? How about witnessing.

    That is when we need to use the England Standard.

    I have problems accepting one that is ONLY good for Christians and not good enough for all those who speak English. :D [​IMG]

    (Took me about an hour to come up with that one.)
     
  20. Phillip

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    He that hath ears to hear . . . </font>[/QUOTE]Clip and paste, clip and paste, that's all you ever do. When are you going to explain what your scriptures have to do with the ESV being the "ENGLISH STANDARD"? We may be racist, but I've got the "standard for the English speaking people" it says so right on the cover!
     

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