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Favoritism and the "in" crowd in church

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Sopranette, Apr 15, 2008.

  1. Sopranette

    Sopranette New Member

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    Awww, Tim and Tentmaker and Ann , My Love goes out to both of you! BB always has answers to my blue moods. God bless you both!

    love,

    Sopranette
     
    #21 Sopranette, Apr 15, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2008
  2. nodak

    nodak Active Member
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    sopranette--what ministry would you prefer? Could it be that one is just overfilled?

    If not, I can tell you what once happened to me. I had been part of a church for a long time, served and taught and been on committees. DS had a couple of rough years health and mental health wise. During that time I asked not to serve.

    We got a new preacher about the time I was ready to serve again. I got to one year, then got dropped like a hot potato. I figured I had really done something wrong. Now I know what happened.

    1. I have many besetting sins, but shared a testimony of deliverance from one. Turned out the new preacher also had that one to struggle with, and resented anyone saying it could be overcome.

    2. I was born female and that pastor confused office with service. That is, he figured only men could do much of anything even "unofficially" such as visitation.

    3. He resented my tendency to jump in and serve without his approval. As an example, a Mormon friend wanted to study the Trinity and asked for my help. I have a lot of good study tools, so we dove in. When he heard what I had done he felt I had stepped into his territory. (Hey--she asked ME. She did not contact my church.)

    My response was to find a new church. I believe we are called--no, commanded--to serve Christ. I also believe the church can RECOGNIZE our calling and appoint us officially to do it, but they cannot PREVENT us from jumping in and serving outside the church walls.

    Whatever your calling, pull a D.L. Moody and jump in and do it. Just don't do it in the name of your church unless "appointed." Of course, if people ask where you attend, feel free to share that.

    I teach. Right now, in the middle of a church search, I am obviously not teaching SS. That is NOT going to stop me from trying to reach the neighbor little ones for Christ this summer. If dgd and I are out coloring with our basically vbs supplies and want to share and they want to come over and join........no church is gonna stop us!
     
  3. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    When your talking about already established ministries, with needed positions filled, no it isn't simple. There are leaders for every ministry and you work with then when and where needed, if anyone is needed at all.
     
  4. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    You may just be in the wrong church. Which would be a good reason why you don't feel you fit in, you don't, but you do somewhere. God has something for you, if you are in the wrong church He has something for you somewhere else.
     
  5. blackbird

    blackbird Active Member

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    Ditto!!!!

    Don't wait on the preacher to "assign" you a "spot"---mercy, girl---you'll be waitin' on "the cows to come home" for THAT to happen

    One of the most satisfaction points of my life as pastor---is seeing things get done around church WITHOUT anyone having to "ASK" someone

    You see something needin' doin' around church----just go do it---and it don't have to be big---or noticeable

    Too---one of the big JOYS I recieve as pastor is----when I go visit someone in the hospital---and they say

    "Preacher!!! You just missed Sister So & So! She ain't been gone no more than 15 minutes!!!"

    Or to get to the patient's hospital room and walk in on a deacon or a sunday school teacher there praying with the church member patient

    Don't "switch" churches---because---that sort of junk you described is going on in the church you're tihnkin' about switchin' to, too!! It ain't just the church YOU'RE in thats like that---its every church---and the easiest person for YOU to change about it---is YOU!!!!

    Your Southern Baptist preachin' fool friend,
    Bro. David
    aka blackbird
     
  6. Sopranette

    Sopranette New Member

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    I appreciate all the suggestions. It is a case of too many cooks in the kitchen, and I NEED something to give back. The lukewarmedness is something I can't abide. It doesn't reflect my love for God in any way. There is a spot somewhere, somehow, where I can light a flame that would pass from person to person. It's not a duty or a routine, it's a demand. I keep thinking of the three servants, who were given their master's money while he was abroad. One did nothing with it, one invested and got a little bit back, and one invested and doubled the money. When the master came back, he told the last one,"Well done, thou good and faithful servant". Can you imagine Jesus saying this to you?
    Well done, thou good and faithful servant. I want to hear those words more than anything when my time here is up.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  7. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    Is this the same church where you wanted to sing, but didn't agree with something in the choir so you quit and started sitting in the back pew?

    I am saying this in love, I hope you take it that way, but the Pastor may see something in your attitude that would stop him from placing you into service.

    I understand you wanting to be a team player, but you have to act like a team player to be one.

    I have never asked my pastor for something to do that he didn't give me something to do. Scrubbing toilets and washing the towels from the baptistry doesn't sound glamorous, but someone has to do it.

    As you prove yourself faithful in small things, God will move you to bigger things.

    I love the song, "Little Is Much When God Is In It".
     
  8. Sopranette

    Sopranette New Member

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    No, Sue. This is a church we've been attending for about a year now. I really was hoping by this time I'd be singing my heart out, because it is a very musical church. That didn't happen. So I asked weekly for something to participate in, no matter how small. That didn't happen, either. So it's time to move on. There IS a place where I can be of service, I just know it! Just to belong is a big thing, to me. I can't understand why small towns are so cliquish.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  9. Joshua Rhodes

    Joshua Rhodes <img src=/jrhodes.jpg>

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    One church I served in recently didn't allow anyone into an established leadership role until they'd been in the church for at least a year. I've served AS A STAFF MEMBER in churches where there were people that didn't accept my leadership until well into the second year. Sopranette, I'd give it some more time, prayer and persistance. You don't want to be viewed as someone who didn't get their way and now they're leaving... again. Church hoppers don't ever get anything done, they just make waves and stir up mud.
     
  10. North Carolina Tentmaker

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    In my experience I would say that is not bad at all. In churches in our area I would estimate that it takes a staff member or pastor an average of 5 years before their leadership is accepted by a majority of the church. And some hold outs will not accept you unless they knew your grandmother. I am not exaggerating at all that is the way people are around here. I get more credibility from dead ancestors I never knew just because of where they are buried then I do from my own life and experience.
     
  11. BaptistBarb

    BaptistBarb New Member

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    Sadly church hoping is part of our Christian world, if you don't like the church or pastor drive down the road and pick a new one.

    Sad if you ask me.
     
  12. Sopranette

    Sopranette New Member

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    Physically I cannot wait for ten or whatever number of years it takes to become active. By that, I mean, as a soprano, I only have so many years I can reach those notes without cracking. My voice will lower over time. In other capacities I can serve, but I'm not sure in what way. That's why I've kept asking. I don't know what there is to be done. The Pastor should be able to give me that information, or so I thought.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  13. BaptistBarb

    BaptistBarb New Member

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    Really? I have known sopranos that have sung in our church choir for years and years and years and their voices seem just fine.
     
  14. BaptistBarb

    BaptistBarb New Member

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    Obviously we go to 2 completely different churches. No one in our church had to ask permission to serve. We see a need and we fill it by serving. It is that simple in some places.
     
  15. North Carolina Tentmaker

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    You remember that story about the castaway and the three huts? I will post it in the humor section.
     
  16. Sopranette

    Sopranette New Member

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    If you push your vocal chords past what they can naturally do, they begin to sound very "tinny" from overwork. But then, singing is what I want to do, no necessarily what the the Lord would have me do.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
    #36 Sopranette, Apr 16, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2008
  17. donnA

    donnA Active Member

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    Hummm, like Sunday school, oh well, I want to teach, so I don't need permission, I just chose a class and go in and take over, kick out the current teacher.
    Yeah that seems simple.
    And it avoids things like the pastor, who is in charge, whose permission you need.
    If all positions (needs) are filled, how do you fill it?
    This seems like chaos and confusion.
    Glad we go to two completely different churches. We like order.
     
  18. BaptistBarb

    BaptistBarb New Member

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    Wow, can we say a little "over-dramatic"?

    You have completely missed my point. Make that 2 of us that is glad we go to different churches.
     
  19. BaptistBarb

    BaptistBarb New Member

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    Why would you push them past what they can naturally do?
     
  20. Gayla

    Gayla New Member

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    Why push them? An occasional stretch maybe. But you should stay mostly within your range.
    I have to lower 98% of the songs I sing solo, because I am definitely not a soprano.
    :)smilewinkgrin: not even a "soprano=ette":laugh: :smilewinkgrin: )
    When singing duet or other small group, I sing alto and sometimes tenor.
     
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